Tuesday, April 27, 2010
We went out to steamboat after my school!
Super full now! My cravings are satisfied!
Aftermath, we went to play butterfly!
It was really funny!
We were like shouting across!
Eh catch the red one!!
And I kept catching the specimen hahaha!!
So overall we had 3 times of bonus!!
And suddenly I got so much token back haha!
After that I changed another two bucks,
and play the ticket machine haha!!
I was left with one pathetic coin!
And I decided to use it on other machine.
Haha!! So we played one machine!
And from one coin, we got two coins hahaha
damn excited sia!! Liangjian kept saying wanna get back money!
Hahhahaa so we from one coin!
We collected so many!
Hahaha!!
And we ended up,
taking one machine each and played!
And we ended losing everything again hahaha!!!
But the ongoing part was damn funny ha!!
Hope grace had fun with us and join us more!
Woot!
Baby not online!
He 9am was online but my phone was charging,
and I was sleeping soundly ! Argh!
I didn't know baby would online so early!
Ahhhhhh!! I'm planning not to charge my phone tonight!
He said he would online in the afternoon!
But baby didn't! So sad ! It's 11pm now!
I'm waiting ! Baby! Online k!
Love you!
10:48:00 PM
Monday, April 26, 2010
Seem like how baby & I quarrelled.
But mummy fiercer than me!
Why quarrel till take me into picture. =(
I go out play, I also know my limits mah.
Dad & Mum, if you all read my blog.
If only you all know how to read,
and know english.
I love you two.
Dad & Mummy stopped quarrelling can please?
I know you two care for each other a lot,
but got so pissed off till like that.
I know how you two felt now.
Cause it relates so closely to baby & I.
Argh. It makes me miss baby.
But I hate the quarrelling part though.
Hope whenever we quarrelled,
he would give in to me,
and hug me, I happy already.
I think it just work this way.
Argh. Missing my dearest one.
NK Lee, so wish you could be with me now.
1:53:00 AM
Sunday, April 25, 2010
That's such a drama. Papa was leaving home.
Mummy wants to jump down.
Why it's happening to me.
Sighed.
I just want to have more rest,
and complete my projects,
and my assignments.
Please?
I don't know what to do.
I don't want to interfere.
But I just can't help,
I just cry.
I need my brothers here.
I need baby here.
I just need someone.
Be here please.
Sighed.
11:29:00 PM
My tears were like dropping so badly just now before he smsed me.
And when I see his sms, I cried even more.
I don't know why. Sighed.
Hate this feeling inside.
Like everything is not going my way.
My tutorial is driving me crazy.
Sighed. Can I just resign from this course?
I just hope teacher set us free from this tutorial.
I can't even understand the single bit.
And we were to look through total of 41 pages of articles,
before I can start my tutorial.
Project is worst, the case study is so long.
I hate it. I can't understand a single bit.
I really really don't.
Whenever I met with problems,
whenever I felt so upset at times.
All I could think of is my boyf.
It wasn't like this last time.
I would always just cry to myself & vent to my blog.
But now I really really miss NK.
Sighed. Maybe NK was right, I need to be independent.
But I used to be so independent. Why is that when I'm attached,
I'm like relying on him so much. Hate it hate it.
Argh. Was him hinting me something?
If not ask me be independent for what?
Argh.
Ahhh hate this feeling hate this feeling.
I should stop my emo time,
and before I start blabbering more,
and thinking further and further.
I should drop it.
Since I'm feeling so much better after his sms.
I should go back to my tutorial to finish it up.
Argh. I want to sleep.
I miss you NK,
I really really do.
I need you here so much.
11:08:00 PM
At this hour, you came online last night.
And the song - "yuan liang wo" just played on my playlist.
I don't know, but this song was set as my ringtone last time.
And it was only dedicated for you, cause I've been listening all along.
So I decided to put your contact's ringtone as this,
as to keep listening it to it whenever you call.
Now, it makes me miss you.
Missing a person, can really make my heart cry.
It's just a feeling inside. It felt so hurting.
I can't figure out why I felt this way.
Was it because my paranoid is coming up after what happened last night?
I need assurance again. Sighed. I hate to feel this way.
I hate to stay home whole day,
and wanting to do something.
But I procastinate the time away.
And now I have so many things undone.
I just want a day for myself to sit there and stone.
I want to have a room to myself and no one come and disturb me.
Dad is making a nuisance of himself, trying to suspect mum having an affair.
When she's not doing it at all, she just complaint to me,
she wants to go out play. She spent her whole life for the family.
She wants to enjoy some time with her friends. Go out enjoy.
Furthermore, all of us has grown up, she just wants to go out play.
Sometimes, I really love to bring her out to play.
I love to bring my parents out to play.
Because they commited their life for the family.
And now, it's alittle insecurities that makes my dad so mad.
And he brought me along with him to be so irritated.
It's making me feel so down.
I'm down enough. Don't bring me down further please.
I really want to cry. But what can I do.
I was told by Nk, to be independent.
I really want to be alone now?
Can everyone please leave me alone.
I hate to do tutorials.
I hate to read the PDF file, and couldn't understand a single.
I hate to be trying to log onto the website to do the database, to no avail.
I hate to be the one being vent on when dad gets mad at mum.
I hate to be the middleman.
I hate things not going my way.
I really need you.
Where are you baby?
And I cried.
Fine.
I hate the part growing up.
Where so many things clashing down.
Pulling me away from the usual cheerful self.
I hate so many things coming up to me.
I hate to do so many things.
I hate everything.
I just hate life.
Life is suffering.
I know it, and I hate it.
Please call me asap.
I hope our telepathy helps.
Sighed.
10:31:00 PM
I was really busy, so tired, so exhausted.
It eats my whole body's energy.
Thursday was school, and then rushed to work.
But work was fine, we had movie evening.
So nothing much, was practically a relax event.
Aftermath, got home and slept.
It's like been a few days consecutive,
with only pathetic of 5 or 4 hours sleep.
I'm that tired. Yes.
Friday, woke up again and got to work again.
Work was fine again because it's cocktail.
And now my Sunday booking was cancelled.
I'm so upset. =(
It's 7am you know?
I thought I could earn alot more.
Oh well.
I heard there's NAPFA test on this Friday.
I don't know was it true anot.
I hope not.
Because I'm working at 9am!
Arghhh, and Nk is coming back this coming Friday.
Arghhhh, no NAPFA please.
I hate running.
Yesterday I was so worried of baby,
but not to that extent of really too worry.
Just hope he was fine and stuffs.
Cause he didn't online the whole day nor call me till very late hour.
So yeah, got me a scare. -.-"
And because of that we quarrelled. =(
Like quarrel through MSN. =(
But I felt we always have that strong bond,
that we know what each other is thinking.
I don't know, but it's just worked that way.
I don't know if it's coincidence or what,
but once or twice could be coincidence,
so many times might not be. Hmmm.
I was on FB, looking through photos,
and I decided to look at my notification suddenly.
Then I saw his replies on my status. =D
Like seriously so coincidencely.
Then, I was thinking he should be online,
and decided to go online despite my battery was going flat soon.
And there he is, onlined and couldn't get onto Starhub website to sms me. =(
Luckily I'm onlined.
Not just these two things that happened,
but so many times things just happened so coincidencely.
I'm so suprised that such things could happen to us. =)
Anyway, yesterday was disappointed.
Cause I've been waiting whole day,
and once he online, we quarrelled.
I never even start the quarrel at all. =(
Furthermore I didn't even thought of those things he said.
Such a demoralising thing after a whole day.
But well, thinking about it,
he might be too busy & too tired.
And I was making a big fuss,
that I'm really extremely worried for him.
But nothing of that sort that he thought I was thinking.
Maybe he was too stress up over there already.
I hope the stressful days faster come to an end.
And 2 more days would end his suffering.
His 3 days of fun & laughter would come then.
Well I hope so.
Just hope he ends his busy life there soon.
And Taiwan kept having really cold temperature.
He's a strong guy lah, seldom get sick.
Hope he come back safe can lerh. =D
Okay lah, I got plenty of things to do.
But first thing first, I gotta go down buy food.
I'm damnnnnnnnnnn hungry right now!
Argh.
3:51:00 PM
Thursday, April 22, 2010
BabyLee, here's my timetable.
I don't know if you read my blog.
But here it is !
4 - 6pm is my last lesson.
I can't scroll down and printscreen. =(
The other days are really relax. =)
I got Friday free.
Love you.
Come back home soon.
I would love to have you around.
Thank you baby for everything.
Loves.
3:22:00 AM
Woot, damn happy happy happy!
I'm like damn tired right now.
Been really a hectic life ever since school started.
Maybe because I've been meeting friends after school.
So that's explained my tiredness.
It's like all about school, project, major projects, work, database, meetups.
I'm like going bersek. I hardly have time to sleep!
But I need to work before Nk comes home.
If not I wouldn't have time for work already.
But I really need to find time to work,
because I need to earn my phone bill every month.
Told baby that I can't accompany him as much as last time.
Hope he be discipline, and not disappoint me anymore.
Furthermore, once piano book comes out,
I need to take back my piano lessons again.
I seriously need to find time out of so many things!
Projects are the killer out of everything.
Now, I've two modules on hands.
And a major project which consist of 10 CU.
Year 3 really kills. I thought it was gotta be slack.
Damn. So much of my thinking.
Supposedly to go clubbing today,
found out that many of my friends are going different club.
But in the end, I'm not going anywhere already.
I hardly have time to sleep, still go club.
I would die.
I think I need money more than playing now.
Seriously, after listening to what Zhenzhong said to Meifang,
I really need to plan for my future. I can't be spending all my savings.
Seriously. Money is small thing, but it really helps in raining days.
Like now, I really need a decent computer,
as much as I really need to do my work,
I've got no cash with me to get a decent one.
So yeah, by the time if I saved up,
I guess I've already graduated.
Oh well, gotta wait for university then.
But I really wish to go into university.
I would really need to do well in this semester.
No more so much of playing and slacking around.
I've slack alot last semester. Been so busy with boyf.
But now I've already let go.
If he's mine, he's mine.
Well, if he wants to runaway again.
Then so be it, it's his loss. hahahaha!
I guess I was too emotional last semester,
which got me not interested in studying.
And we kept quarrelling during my examinations periods.
That's like the worst thing ever.
Hope nothing happen this semester.
And Nk has been really sweet these days.
I really love him so much.
Hope he stays this way, and we'll be forever.
I love the heart-to-heart talk with him.
It's been really long time since we had a decent HTHT.
He never likes to talk about our problems in our relationship.
So it's always got me really down, I always trying to solve the problems.
But he never wants to talk about it, and we always ended up quarreling.
But I'm glad, this time round, although he got abit pissed off.
But we eventually sorted out things out.
That's how I wanted to solve problems involve us. =)
And it worked. =)
8 more days to his arrival.
I don't know how I would feel.
I just want to hug him really tight.
Cause I really miss his presence.
Absence makes the heart grows fonder,
indeed, it really makes us miss each other so much.
And maybe, it would helps us to treasure the time that spent together.
We don't have forever to spend with each other.
But we have all our life to do so.
Hope things get better.
I'm indeed really tired.
I feel really giddy now.
I don't have much sleep these days.
And I'm working in Mosin tomorrow.
It's like the dinner, and I hope I could do it.
My leg is damn pain, like it's getting worst.
Not a good sign. Sighed.
I'm left with 5 hours to sleep.
Goodnight earthlings.
2:57:00 AM
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Everyone has a part that never review.
If we do not know the two stories behind,
then better keep quiet and not start commenting.
Because, just a very passing comment,
would hurt one party.
Someone who you loved so deeply before,
can actually faced with so many things right now.
You would feel so sorry for them,
but yet feel so sorry for yourself.
Not everything uses money to cure problems.
I think what we often lacked of in us,
is the basic trust, basic understanding,
basic communication, and the basic love.
There's always a problem in everyone,
no one is perfect, we ought to love our partners,
for their flaws and learn to accept their imperfections.
Those that are ought to be changed, should learn to know it's for their own good.
I know I don't make any sense in this entry.
I understand what I'm talking, is all that enough.
Whatever it is, don't sacrifice the children.
The children are the innocent one.
They should not be treated this way.
There's always a way out to every problems.
Learn to see it from a different angle,
it's for yourself & for your childrens.
It's the same smile that I used to see,
but what lies behind it, was so hollow.
Time would heal all wound.
What don't kill you, gets you stronger.
It would work on you. Hell yes.
Good luck.
4:39:00 AM
Monday, April 19, 2010
But I don't know where to start from.
I have been through so much bad experience.
Just when I'm doing nothing, flashback would come.
And things that I don't wanna remember,
but I remember so vividly.
Will I be alone standing there to hold on?
And waiting for the time to come,
and watch you let everything go?
Again and again.
I learn it the hard way.
I miss the guy who love me the most,
who shower me with loads of love and care and concern.
Would that guy please return to be who you use to be?
11 days more.
I really miss you.
I hate how I'm so alone.
And when I think of you.
I can't do anything.
I just wish you could be here for me.
Hold me and tell me everything is alright.
I miss you nk. I feel so happy.
When he's always trying to find present to buy for me.
Like making an effort to go online to check.
Although he forgot he was chatting with me online!
I really miss all the craps we use to say.
How we always disturb each other and not angry at all.
How we always play wrestling! Like biting each other!
Or maybe I'm the only one who bite him lolol and pinch me!
He loves to tickle me! I miss his tickling!
Although it's really very itchy but I miss how we always have fun !
I'm tired.
Time to sleep.
Night!
Hello school tomorrow!
12:40:00 AM
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Nk haven't online the whole day!
Nor have he call me at all!
I feel so worried !
Sighed.
Baby can you faster call me!?
8:31:00 PM
But why it kept playing halfway and it's gone?
Ahhhhh damn!
Is there any online website to upload songs,
and it can really play really fast,
and not have to start loading the stupid playlist?
I'm so damn sleepy.
Early in the morning.
Mum woke me up,
to have breakfast.
Damn.
I hardly have good sleep please.
Furthermore, I worked 17.5 hours last night.
And I'm seriously damn tired right now.
My legs are aching, my shoulders are aching,
my whole body is aching.
I need Nk to help me massage,
but he's in taiwan!
He goes there,
still can massage cheapcheap.
Singapore massage is damn expensive.
Tsk, I miss hainan.
Okay I need to go bath now.
Bye.
Working on Thursday, Friday & Sunday.
I want to be rich before Nk comes back.
Heh heh heh!
But when Nk comes back, I can only work Thursday,
and maybe Friday morning. Gotta book next week then.
Next next saturday he's coming back. Omg~
William & Priscilla they all wanted to club yesterday,
But I'm working, and I prefer ladies night. Heh heh.
Free entry~ Woot. LOLOL. Wonder did they still go?
I want to club last time before Nk comes back.
Anyone?
Outside Catering is damn tiring yesterday.
I was perspiring the whole day.
Hope I lost some weight seriously.
Plus I didn't eat at all,
I only ate the tiffin food.
And it's like shit.
Whole lunch and dinner,
were the same food again!
Damn.
I miss baby,
always hugging boyboy.
And sayanging him all the time.
He love boyboy more than me loh.
=(
P.S: Tell me the truth,
before it's too late.
3:04:00 PM
I hate liars.
Even one small lies,
it just matters.
2:35:00 PM
Thursday, April 15, 2010
please go away.
I hate this feeling. D:
Was reading twitter the other day.
Saw a lot of meaningful sentence,
that stayed in my mind for a period.
"Love the people who hurt you,
but don't hurt the people who love you."
"It is better to lose your pride with someone you love,
rather than to lose that someone you love with your useless pride."
"Sometimes, I wish you'd pay more attention to my favourite songs,
because the lyrics sing words I'm too scared to say."
Sometimes, we really been trying too hard,
to look for better things out there,
we actually forgotten that we have everything here with us.
Over the years, I've learn so many things.
They always say trust is so hard to build,
but I trusted everyone, practically everyone words.
Including my love ones, my best friends,
but sometimes I even trusted their lies.
Till the day, I realise my trust for everyone is gone.
I understand how hard to build it back again,
how hard for one to do it alone.
How hard to hold onto something,
that have chose to let go.
How hard to face the lies again and again,
alone again and again.
Mask that was wore by everyone.
Everyone has a stories that they never say.
Friends that you thought you know them well,
but there are little things that they never really tell you.
Everyone tries to pretend to be the perfect person on earth.
But everything is just a lie. Guess, I just got to know how the outside world works.
People who have gone through a lot,
like my brother, always tell me,
I'm still young, I haven't get to see a lot of things.
They have grown up, they see more things,
they go through it, been through it,
and walked out of it.
And maybe, true enough.
People are not so simple.
I hate to grow up.
I hate to know things work so complicatedly.
I hate how practically everyone pretends.
Pretending to be your good friends,
pretending and take advantage of you.
I used to always don't mind anyone,
being nice to everyone.
But when I really know the truth,
I dislike how they actually treat the people,
that have treat them well.
People love to gossip.
They love to say things behind your back.
They love to backstab you.
Seriously, I thought backstabbing,
it only happened in secondary school life?
Why is it still happening now?
Disappointment.
Don't bother to care,
if only you wants to dig out things to gossip.
Don't bother to ask,
if only you just want to start commenting.
Till today, I lie to myself,
I deceive everyone.
The most common lies,
that I ever lie to myself again and again,
is that, "I'm fine, and I could do it."
Even when I got my heart broken a million times,
I still putting my effort to do it.
But it takes two hands to clap.
I realize it, I could never do it alone.
Maybe someday, I wish,
he could realise it,
and hope, it wasn't too late.
Not too late anymore.
And people who are doing things behind my back.
Last warning. And May you be well & happy.
Hope you know what goes around, comes around.
Emo feeling, go away please. D:
Love my blog, because this the only place for me to vent.
But I hate it that everyone is reading it.
I felt like moving to wordpress,
because wordpress can save the particular post,
so that maybe someday when I'm emo again,
I could vent inside and hide it with a password,
and make myself feel better after that.
Or maybe someday when I start reminisicing things again,
I can go through it, provided I don't forget the password. -.-"
Sighed. I miss my boyf. I really miss him.
I miss how I used to whine to him.
But he don't like me whining to him anymore. :(
He just don't like me crying at all. Sighed.
But little things make me tear.
I need to be strong...
To be independent.
Seriously, I miss his hugs.
I miss how he would suddenly just come over and hug me.
2 more weeks.
10:50:00 PM
Lao Ma Zi with baby some day!
Before he leaves for Taiwan.
To celebrate my birthday!
He knew I wanted to eat all along,
so he suggest us going. Woot. =)
1
Was out with Raymond, Liangjian, Sly & Forester.
We went out on Monday to celebrate my birthday.
Haha, and Liangjian & Sly treat me. Woot. Haha.
The steamboat was damn good!
Got fried dumpling there leh!
Free flow somemore. =X
My lil sly hahaha!
Yes yes yes sweet couple.
Forester act camera shy lol.
This is the machine I had been having fever about.
Since the day baby brought me there to play,
I kept felt like playing it again and again.
And Raymond accompanied me to play.
Then, after steamboat, we brought Liangjian & Sly there.
HAHA their new dating venue soon. Woot!
On my tuesday, which is on my birthday.
Went to Far East with Clements,
while waiting for my darling girls to off work.
Shop shop shop, I saw a pretty formal dress.
Wanted to buy for my formal wear,
but I realised I'm broke once again. =.="
So better not carry out any retail therapy these few weeks.
I still haven't save up for my phone bill. Argh.
I'm ready to take up my phone bill,
because I'm the one who upgrade the plan. Haha.
So don't want mummy to pay for everything anymore.
Perhaps if she want to sponsor me abit, I would be happy. Haha!
After Pastamania that day,
we went to iluma. =D
Veron sitting down there, =(
she don't want to take photos with me.
Clements & Stanley face. HAHAHA
Shiying ! Bff man!
Yiying my darling hahaha!
Yuxuan!
After that I went to meet up with Zeming,
and head over to parklane to fetch yuanyi, fuzhong, kaiwen, xinyi & victor.
And went over to lavander to have supper time.
That's my birthday cake before the birthday ends.
HAHA.
And who says no candle. =.="
Kaiwen went to poke that chopstick there.
Thanks uh~
So Wednesday which is yesterday,
I have a lot meetups like seriously a lot!
Meet up with Shanyuan in the afternoon.
and headed to Siplap Pizza Hut!
And that's Shanyuan & mine birthday cake. HAHAHA.
That's a better one. HAHAHA.
Not as pathetic as the previous one.
But still all the cakes I like lah. HAHA!
The previous cake is damn nice also.
Although it's normal cake but its really good.
Top one has the cleaniness thing,
to prevent any virus from spreading.
Good practice man !
Hope Kbox or whatever box,
will start with this trend too.
Tan Choon Rui, know for 8 years.
Don't ask me how we know each other,
because we also don't know how we know.
It's like since Primary School lah seriously.
Brought him to go SBM, he go act emo HAHAHA!
COME MORE OFTEN LEH!~
K one camwhore photo.
Cui, I dont know why I felt cui all the time.
Butterfactory time!
Shanyuan damn funny,
kept telling me it's 12am already leh.
I still thought he wants to leave butter already,
when he's like just there for awhile lah!
But it's he hinting me it's his birthday already. HAHA!
I abit slow!~
Happy 23rd birthday, my 6th year friend!
Hope you be happy happy all the way,
and faster find a new girlf and settle down & get married.
Girls, this guy is available now.
Want to know him anot. HAHA!
He needs a wife now!!
HAHAHA so damn funny,
last time I know him,
he still rides a bike,
and go club that sparks like every Friday lah!
Look how time flies so damn fast,
and we have grow up. HAHA.
No more the xiao mei mei he know,
and he no more the ah beng I know.
HAHAHA!
Okay seriously, out of all the 3,
I only know Wayne. HAHA.
Cause it's Genevive beloved.
I hope he wouldn't see my blog. =x
Cause I don't even know him.
I was so suprise they came too.
HAHA but the more the merrier lah.
HAHA!
Genevive & Priscilla.
She act shy LOL.
1
Clements, Stacy & Ken!
The guys there have pink colour tag,
like seriously damn gay lah.
I dont know why it's pink though.
HAHA!
Okay, I don't know who is this guy.
And seriously, I don't know why I post this up,
I think I accidentally click on the photo and uploaded it together.
Since uploaded, might as well put. But still...
IS IT ME WHO TAKE THIS PHOTO?
Or Gene you all?
1 3
Genevive damn red already.
I realize even how much I drink.
I won't get red leh. =(
Bad blood circulation.
But I like. HAHA
Genevive! They gave me a suprise sia.
All last minute pangseh. Make me sad.
In the end they came. LOL.
Pris Pris!
Ken ! I don't know how long I know him.
HAHA, but yes, he's a good friend man.
Always help me find solutions HAHA!
One thing, he never judge people!
Seriously nice man!
He also damn zai one norh,
go in dance floor, already found 4 girls to dance with.
HAHAHA! Like seriouslyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy~
Tsk tsk tsk. Bad guy man!~
He also available lah. HAHA.
So see any of you want know him.
Tell me also. HAHAHA.
I think I'm like match maker now. =.="
But who don't want see friend happy happy hahaha!
STACY & Genevive.
Stacy damn cute.
She damn shy.
I super admire her man,
cause her studies is good one can.
Top in the whole course leh!
Gene why getting redder and redder. =.="
3 Muscular man ah!
Marcus, Xiang Nian & Boris.
Boris face damn epic sia. =.="
Okay that's sum up my birthday celebrations. =)
The end already. Maybe meet up with Enghua korkor this Saturday.
Gotta see if he got recall anot. The last birthday celebration already.
Then I shall be ready for school. =)
Overall, birthday this year is good. =)
Nothing major happen, except Fuzhong they all made me sad. =(
Don't tell me such thing on my birthday mahhhhhhhhhh~
:(
I just realised I didn't take photo with Mabelynn & Jacqueline.
OMG WHY I MISSED THEM OUT. =.="
AHHHHHHHHHHHH~
Okay fine~
Next time I shall really bring my camera whenever I go man.
Oh ya, I saw Andy at Butter! Like dance halfway eh saw him!
So suprise cause so many clubs and yet we can see each other.
HAHA! Nice!
Okay, I want to go bath now. =)
Baby went to sleep already.
He called me so early just now.
Oh ya, just now I saw his status.
I damn super happy I tell you. HAHA!
HAHA. I really miss him man.
The first thing I see him at airport.
I sure want to hug him tight tight,
and squeeze him to bits. LOL!
Hope his tummy is there still.
So I can feel like I pushing something in.
HAHA you know that feeling? HAHAA!
I like his tummy man. HAHAHA
Okay I shall stop being stupid now.
Okay time to go bath. BYEBYE!
I LOVE MY IPHONE!
8:02:00 PM
I now blogging from iPhone !
So I need to upload photos toy computer first!!
So much photos!!
But every photos are not well taken!
Club last night have limited photos haha!
Didn't bring camera down to dance floor haha!!
So yeah photos of me is like few only haha!!
Okay la I go upload photos and sleep now!
Super tired!
I miss NK :(
wish he could be there to dance with me last night.
So I won't get anyone coming near me!
But music at butterfactory not as fun as St James !
My virgin experience at butterfactory last night.
I would prefer St James though. :(
I want to try other club and see what other club like!
Since young, I want to explore ! Not that I'm party queen !
Kor kor say I chiongster! :( that's a bad thing when you add bro in fb!
Anyway yesterday was a blast man!
So many people came down!
Thanks everyone man!
Super steady Friends man!
Priscilla, Genevive, Stacy, Mabelynn, Jacqueline & her friend,
Clements, Ken, Boris, Marcus and his friends, Genevive's friends,
Shanyuan, Shawn and doctor no love hahaha!! I forget his name.
I'm happy for gene!!
She asked her crush to join us!
And while dancing, I just ask her go hug Wayne!
And she super steady sia!! Daring sia!
I thought he was her crush lolol!
I think she too high already !
So maybe that's the reason she so daring!
Okay I shall upload photo now!
So blog wouldn't be so dead!
Oh ya I received my first present from Choon Rui !
My 8 years friend! Lolol! And he treat me sing song!
But never go club with us haha!
I have got alot treats this birthday!
Prebirthday steamboat treat by baby!
Steamboat treat by Liangjian & Sly.
Pizzahut treat by Shanyuan.
Top one treat by Choon Ru.
Zhi char treat by kor kor.
And birthday kisses by Mabelynn & Jacqueline & Genevive !
Hahaha love from my girls!
Shiying and Siewhui didn't join us! :(
well no choice ! They are busy working too!
Hope I could lose weight from non stop dancing !
But nk say I wouldn't get slimmer one!
That clements still like baby's comment!
Am I really so fat anot! :(
Okay forget it!! Upload time!!
15 days to see nk lee!
I saw his status he say he miss me leh!!
Hahahha make me damn happy I tell you!
Hope he would miss me all day long !
So he won't forget me!!
Okay upload first ! More to blog!
2:22:00 PM
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
There are more to go tonight!! :)
Can't wait to meet up with everyone!
Some even got confuse of my birth date!
Cause I'm celebrating belated birthday today at butterfactory!
Baby so cute that day.
He whine about me kept wanting to go club !
But he also the one to ask people to bring me go chiong norh!!
Hahaha but he has his sweet time. Love it when he cares.
Was out with clements yesterday.
We went to orchard for a walk!
I saw many things that I wanted to buy!
Damn sad I'm broke already !
Even have to work on mum's birthday!!
After shopping yesterday,
I realized I haven't get my formal wear!!
God damn shitty shit seriously!!
After orchard headed to MO,
looked for shiying and waited for her.
Headed to my place together and charge phone.
While clements playing computer and shiying getting scare of boy!
Next, headed to pastamania to have dinner!
Met up with Veron! And yuxuan and yiying came later.
I have pasta cravings !!
Filled my tummy with creamy chicken!
And off we went to arcade to catch butterfly hahaha!!
I'm so into butterfly these days after doing it once with nk!
Baby faster come home and we go catch butterfly again haha!!
Sly and liangjian is coming iluma to catch butterfly!!
But I'm meeting Shanyuan later!! So no butterfly today ! :(
Oh ya before my birthday start ending,
and a new day commencing,
I joined Sbm people for supper!
Was seriously damn full alr!
Chatted and joked over everything!!
Zeming reaction on the finger walking was damn epic!
But but they say something that got me upset!!
I hope it wouldn't come true!!
Like seriously I'm getting afraid of it.
Just hope nk treats me better and our relationship will go better!
If not all these years effort of maintaining the relationship is wasted!
Seriously I don't know why people can change boyf / girlf.
Like alot alot alot of time ! I mean wouldn't it take alot effort?
It takes effort to start to know someone again.
To learn about their interest, to build trust,
to be together...
Maybe it seem hard to me!
That's why I wouldn't be like nk!
Think so easily !! Still young can always find another one!!
Siannnnn!! Lolol am I really the only one holding it?
Sometimes I really ask myself!
Argh I'm getting emo now! Sian!!
Well just hope nk would realize someday !
Or maybe one day I would just be the same as nk!
Thinks the same way as he do and heck care hahaha!!
Whatever it is, at least I tried lah hor!!
Okay looking forward to dress up later !!
Love this part about clubbing most hahhaa!
And yeah love to dance till we drop too!
Can't wait for tonight! :)
Nk faster come home !!
Another 16 days to go!!
Hope I don't get immune to him not around!!
If not I wouldn't make any effort anymore ha!
That would be a bad sign! Cause I want be his good girlf!
And hope he be a good Boyf to me !! Haha!
I really miss him this few days!!
When the night falls !
I would always get ready my phone! Lol
cause it's the time he would call back!
So happy I tell you !
Can't wait for the moment when he's back.
Hope he remember to buy things for me!! Haha
can't wait for my present!!
Love makes the wonder!!
It can make you go gaga and stop whatever you doing,
and just talk to the one you love all day long!!
12:16:00 PM
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
NK called early and just simply wish a happy birthday !!
Saded I wanted him to say somemore!! You know!
Hais!! Never mind at least he remembered it!
And he promise my loads of presents!!
Hope he just won't forget then !!
Once again happy birthday to Siah Hwan Ling!!!
1:37:00 AM
Saturday, April 10, 2010
It's either I was busy working or busy with Boyf.
These few days work was a pain.
My legs seem to not being able to take the pain.
Boyf days were great.
Shopping and stuffs but we missed zouk.
Oh well. I really wanted to go.
Dress pretty pretty and make up nice nice.
Last minute we didn't go.
Felt disappointed but well,
there would be next time then.
Nk has left for Taiwan already.
For 3 weeks without any sight of him.
It's gotta feel weird but it would be a good thing for us.
Hope he don't forget my birthday can already.
Told everyone already, my birthday have never been good.
But well, I've already planned for next week.
Meeting with everyone that is available.
Shall squeeze the time. But Friday morning till evening I'm free.
But no one find me on that day!! =(
Friday is mummy birthday. I'm planning to celebrate on Thursday.
Since mummy having off day. Well Friday I not sure already. How sia!
Who's free to go out play man!
Oh well. Next week would be busy meeting friends.
Next next week school would be starting alr.
Time flies. I'm starting my third year already!
It's gotta be hectic now. Sad.
Okay time to stop blogging and get ready to go Sbm!
See you and misses.
1:48:00 PM
Monday, April 05, 2010
it's my last year having an one as the initial.
Although I should look forward like others,
who always go crazy over their birthday,
planning everything that they want to,
for their celebration yearly.
But I'm not looking forward to.
Maybe perhaps, every year was ended in tears.
From my 13th birthday to all the way till now,
I always have something to cry on.
The most memorable one, was the 17th birthday,
where I cried so bitterly over NSK.
And I lost a friend, Vincent.
Who was there to celebrate my birthday with.
And yet ended up in shit situation because of NSK&I.
If I can turn back time, I would have choose him,
than trusting NSK because actions speak louder than words.
And Vincent was there all along. Friends are the greater part of life.
Whenever I see a Han's cafe, I would always remember,
having my birthday there, and losing a good friend that very day.
18th birthday was good, because friends are great,
baby is nice, but we quarrelled that day over small matter.
But overall, it was better than the rest of my birthdays.
Like from 13 years old, I quarrelled with my cliques.
14 years old, we split up... blablablabla.
I hope 19 birthday would be better.
But Nk wouldn't be in Singapore.
And I don't know if he even remember it.
Maybe a call back from Taiwan would be good.
But if he don't remember it at all, then it's gotta be disappointing.
Anyway, whoever wants to meet me next week,
to go out play, sing song, chit chat, walk around, touch touch, see see look look.
Please sms me, and state name can can can? Cause my contacts are limited.
I hope. I wish. I pray.
Let this birthday be good can?
No dramatic things happened again please.
Just days before my birthday, had major break up with boyf.
Now we are back again, but so what. Impermanence.
Just give me a peaceful birthday, it would be great.
Thank you devas.
On a bright note, I just sync my phone.
And I have very limited songs in my computer.
Can someone send me nice songs?
If not I'll bring the hard disk I had for present last year,
to hop over to your place to get songs. =D
1:17:00 PM
Sunday, April 04, 2010
Tower for the day.
Desmond & Charlton.
Nicholas and Clements!
Kelvin Tan!
Cards game that I don't understand at all. LOL!
Yes Thank you buddy for everything. =D
Charlton act cool photo HAHAHAA
Okay these photos are a hell long ago,
during the celebration of the end of the semester.
Didn't have a chance to post it, it's either I became emo,
or I was too busy to do so.
So yeah, just a few of the photos here.
Since it's already uploaded in photobucket,
and my blog is currently looking empty.
I decided to post it. Ha.
Anyway, a week ago, I bought my love.
Yes, I had it white. =)
After seeking afew people advice,
and looking at the majority people purchasing the white one,
additionally, I have the mindset that white are pretty.
But I love black because they won't get dirty.
However, in the end I got the white one. =)
Yes, new love. My new toy.
It's like damn good !
Especially when a lot people are holding one,
you can get to play together, talk together,
and a lot more things.
Now I can surf everywhere.
Chat anywhere.
Just the disadvantage part,
as long as my battery don't go flat.
IPhone used up a lot of battery,
which is not really a lasting phone.
Therefore, if you intending to go out for a long day,
make sure you have your charger and an ideal place to charge.
If not, there goes it. =(
Till now, my iphone has not been total flat at all,
because whenever the battery gets red.
I'll get extremely careful with the usage.
Would use as little as possible, to maintain it.
Anyway, boyboy is lying beside me right now.
I'm feeling so blessed to have my darling boyboy.
Seriously, he has always been there. To love me and be there.
Whenever I'm home, he would jump around, looking delighted.
And I really meant it when he jumped around,
he just stood on two legs and jumped non-stop for a long time.
He would always come into my room to look for me!
Whenever I'm home, he would bark at me, welcoming me.
Whenever I'm leaving home, he would want to join along.
If I tell him my reasons, he would listen carefully and wouldn't make a noise.
If I go out without bringing him, he would bark the whole house down.
I can't imagine a day without boyboy. =(
Attachment. Yes.
But I love my little boyboy so much.
He has been with me for 5 years.
5 long years. It's like a little brother to me.
I just love my boyboy so much. =D
Well nothing much already,
I went to see a doctor on Saturday.
My cough does not seem to subside.
For my relationship with Nk,
it's been ups and downs a lot a lot.
I really don't know what he's been thinking.
It's hard to ponder a lot, especially when he just became so heartless.
When he treated me well, he really treat me well.
When he don't, he really treat me like shit.
It's like the extreme ends.
No middle path.
Anyway, was disappointed for the Friday.
After getting so upset and disappointed,
crying so badly, sobbing non-stop.
He was out with a female friend.
Totally with a nonchalent attitude.
If only I could be half as nonchalent as him.
And I got to know that some people are so lame,
to go around gossiping about us. You know who you are.
You know what you've done. Keep the comments to yourself.
And I believe in karma. Hope you knows what it even means. =)
I don't believe in seeking revenge or saying hurtful things,
or even keeping a hatred inside me. =D
I just want to wish you May you be well and happy,
because whatever you've done, it would have a cause and effect.
I don't think a lot of people read my blog,
because I hardly write it anymore. =(
But that's another good thing to celebrate,
because whatever I write here become a privacy,
with a few people who cares a lot to comeby to read.
Which somehow, I'm grateful.
And so, I got much more privacy as compared to the last time,
where a lot of people are reading it, a little bit of misunderstanding,
would cause a blog war and everything that comes up.
Alright, I'm sleeping right now.
Working tomorrow, Tuesday & Sunday.
5pm 5pm and 10am.
10:54:00 PM
Thursday, April 01, 2010
Would you treat it like nothing has happened?
Or would you try to stop her from crying no matter using any methods?
I don't know. But I really wish to have the priviledge to do all these.
To be pampered by boyf.
To be care for.
To spend sufficient quality time.
I didn't want any expensive materialistic items.
Nor extra cash or luxury meals.
I only wanted very simple time.
Very simple care and love.
Was it too much I asked for?
Was it even too hard to give?
I asked you if I really not worth to be dote on.
You say yes. I got nothing to say.
And I cried.
You pretend nothing at all.
And told me you are tired and exhausted.
You just wAnt to sleep.
I really did what I can.
I really start tolerating the things you tormenting me.
I really start keeping things to myself and never quarrel with you.
I really start trying to tell you how I felt again and again. Trying to heart-to-heart talk.
But I always ended in tears and you wouldn't care a single bit.
I am really tired to be treated like this again and again.
Everynight I cry myself to sleep.
Thinking it's okay you would be better tml.
But now you don't even bother to reply my SMS.
Don't bother to call me back or whatsoever.
I just tried so hard but nothing was changed.
And you get worst and worst each days.
Was all these effort to get our relationship better were futile?
I really tried. I really do. I'm tired to cry to myself.
All I ever wanted was so simple.
Does easily satisfied is not good?
Maybe you would find a girl that is better than me.
I treated you like my everything but you treated me like nothing.
I miss the time when you were the best.
That was the time you got into accident.
Maybe because I was there everyday taking care of you.
And I can feel every single love.
But your feeling fade like a wind.
Come and go so fast.
Maybe my friends were right.
I should wake up from my idea.
You would still be the same.
No matter how I tried.
I'll be back to the same square.
Even when typing all these.
My tears kept flowing.
Maybe I'm just weak.
Maybe indeed I'm a loser.
Maybe Not trying at all would be better.
Whatever it is. If the next girl come along.
I just hope you don't hurt her like how you hurt me.
No matter how I told you that your actions your speech are hurting me.
You care no more. You just not answer me at all. You kept your silent.
Your silence kills me. No matter how serene it seemed.
It just became a fear inside me.
My hope is shattered.
One sided effort is so tiring.
I really tried not to think about it.
But I really needed a place to rant.
I don't want to find any friends anymore.
Nowadays even if it's your fault.
I would apologize.
Maybe in love.
I would put down all ego to keep this relationship.
But as time goes by. You were taking granted of me.
I told you so. But nothing has been changed.
I really given everything to this relationship.
All I got was tears again and again.
And you not being bother to care a single bit.
Does not giving everything would be the best solution?
They say in relationship, it is to see who care the least.
If it's this way, then why get into one?
Maybe that's my perception,
that's why I have been giving and giving.
Hoping to get the love in return.
I've seen us going through so much.
and now you just can't be bother to get back what we lost.
If one day we ever fell apart, all I could tell myself.
Is that I have tried hard. I had put in effort.
Not that I didn't.
And I lost someone who really don't love me and not appreciative of me.
While you lost someone who love you so hard and tried so hard.
My heart breaks a million times. All I wish were someone to put it back.
And that someone is you. But the more I wish. The more it don't come true.
It's true that it's better to leave it shattered than trying to pick it up by yourself.
And cut yourself even deeper.
I would wash my hands off now.
At least i tried.
You want someone who can't be bothered of.
I would.
You want someone to stop talking to you.
I would.
You want someone to not nag at you.
I would.
You want someone who don't care about you.
I would.
It gotta be hard but i would be able to do it.
If caring for someone could be so tiring.
Then not caring would be better instead.
But I just have to learn to stop my tears from flowing.
I would be fine.
Yes I would.
11:05:00 AM
