Thursday, June 29, 2006
I don't tell anything doesn't mean I don't trust you, it's just that no one will understand.
Just when you think life is going up again, it went down.
I will smile =D
11:09:00 PM
Stayed in class during recess, been quite anti-social nowadays. Sleep through out the recess and rushed through my chinese project for the last 2 free periods. The time is still not enough that we had to stay back to finish up everything. I know we might fail for this project but we've no choice.
Work is to be hand up by this friday, I'm dead. Luckily, the math homework, I'm left with afew questions. Yet, I really have no moods to do at all. Kill me please~! I've changed!~ YAY~ Maybe to the better, maybe to the worst but I felt like it's going to the worst side. *cries*
Don't act like you care when you don't~ I know and I can feel~
没人了解~
9:36:00 PM
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
Been trying to catch up with the pace, but it seems that I'm still way off behind. People changes, clique changes, the people that I usually talk to change, life changes, passion changes, everything had changed. Had been trying to stay strong till I almost dropped, at least I had tried. Everyone is putting a conclusion that I've thought too much, what actually do you all know how I feel.
Whatever it is, I'm got to be the one in the wrong again.
Who weren't want to be happy?
就算把世界给我，还是一无所有。
11:52:00 PM
Some encouraged me to try being together with him while some discouraged. I had choosen my path, just respect it as what it is. I guess, I still prefer being single. I really don't like the feeling of being betrayed by someone you love and the feeling of being jealous of other girls. So whatever it is, I'm happy with my decision XD !!
Oh yay~ Smile boy =D We're still friends afterall.
12:10:00 AM
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
I thought of alot alot before coming out with a "no", decision is still up to me and myself. People can give advice, but I'm the only one who is deciding. So, I gave it a no even no matter how hard I've to say out to him. Told him to search for another better girl but he insisted that he'll wait. -.-" I don't know how and what to do =( Buddha enlighten me please xD
Mrs Lim is so cute, she changed out sitting arrangements, not by fixing you in a place but by changing you every week. Every week, you have to change your seat to the one behind you and if you had reached to the last seat, you have to sit to the first seat. Once every one had a turn on each seat, she will changed to sitting in different rows. She's so cute can! I prefer this way because I want to sit in the front sit!! =( I want to do well for my studies, she threw me to the side of the class, how can I study when the whiteboard kept having reflections and I'm tired of moving here and there just to look at what the teacher write.
I had been a very good girl already okay, I brought back all my books to study =D !! Having D&T test tomorrow, just the first few day of school having a test already. Upper sec good? No, it's stress and there's not one day you can relax. They're going to eat up our November holiday to go back to school to have normal lesson. Our batch is going to start school right after we get back our result, no longer waiting till april to have our school. This is really very bad, why can't I be borned earlier and this rule is only applied to our batch onwards. It isn't fair at all~!! ARGH~!!
Jackson ah Jackson ah Jackson~! LOLS ! ARGHHHHHH~
*ROARS*
7:38:00 PM
Monday, June 26, 2006
Hais~!
9:34:00 PM
Sunday, June 25, 2006
Maybe some know about my family problems maybe some don't know, I won't write it down here. Just get me out of all those family problems and I'm happy. Forgiving is hard, having the scene of a guy beating a girl is even harder to forget. I don't know how my mum can forgive him, even though I seems okay about it but there's still phobia.
I can't be bothered with stuffs already seriously, don't try to act a good person and I'm always being the bad guy. I'm always in the wrong, I'm always doing nothing, that's all of you having in mind right. I don't care anymore, whatever I should do, I have done it. I've done my part and don't get my nerves up. Afterall nobody bothers, enough is enough. No one cares about me either, why should I care others? Seriously, why am I doing all these things?
I'm super sad right now, leave me alone~!
10:01:00 PM
*POOF*
4:52:00 PM
WeiRong is going back to his school tomorrow after quitting school for 9 months. He got to be the most famous guy in the whole school again. Yet, I'm not in his school. Yay! School is always got to be suck, I can agreed with it. But quitting school even suck more unless you are trying to take a break for a month or two, but he took 9 months break ! -.-" At least he realised the importance of studying and the certificate that will determined where will we be in the future. We study for the sake of studying not because we like to study =( I miss my primary school teachers who don't make us feel that we study for the sake of studying, yet secondary school teacher always pressure us into studying all these kind of crap things. Oh wells~ I know teacher do spy on student's blog, but i'm stating the facts. Accept it or leave it.
I doubt I will miss my secondary school life because afterall, I did not do any crazy stuffs in secondary life, I only did it in primary school life. We are well known of making the whole primary school go upside down, but it's fun and everyone is loving it. Teachers love us, friends are united. We do things together and not afraiding anything even our displince teacher is nice to us. Secondary life is just a crap, I had been spending 3 yrs of my life in this crap school studying and studying. Nothing much, getting into school everyday and study and get out of school to go home and study. Crap right~ Yes it's crap =D But well, O level is next year, I want to do well for it. I don't care by hooks or by crooks, I got to pull up all my study =D But right now, I need motivation =( Oh wells~
I'm rotting, back to sleep XD
3:40:00 PM
Saturday, June 24, 2006
Went for SBM today and excos are not there, feeling very different maybe because of the atmosphere. Met a new wanling over there xD ! Now I know that her english name is jaylene. Cool right~!! I'm the first wanling in SBM XD ! Had fun with my moggallana as for sure but the feeling is still different =( Never mind like what they said, we must think of the bigger picture.
This had been the 2nd day that I had been thinking over the answer~ I will hurt either one of it, it's either my friends or him. SBM had been standing 3/4 of my life already, I'm not got to give it up. Bringing him into SBM, I can't be in my usual self, I'm in Moggallana and Realm is our core group and I can't be sitting there quietly and not talking to any guys right? I love to be myself, I don't like to inform anyone where I'm going or where I am. I don't like to have a feeling of whether he's having another girl outside or is he betraying me anot. I don't like to have those feeling of no security. It's crap seriously~ My friend told me, just try and play along with the game. -.-" This is even more crap~ 2 more days for me to think =(
=( Hais~
10:31:00 PM
Walked back awhile and had a conference in my phone, then WeiRong came xD ! I didn't know that he came and he suddenly just poped out say hello XD ! He's so cute ~! Afterawhile he went off with Cheston to the toilet and I continued have my conference, didn't had any feeling coming back at first just finding him still the same old cute~ After awhile I was chatting on the phone on the table, Jez jie came and we started to play around and Kim Jun & Cheston & WeiRong came over. Played around and keep chatting xD Then suddenly everyone went off, leaving WeiRong, Kim Jun & me. That stupid Kim Jun went chatting away happily on his phone and leaving only the two of us. LOLS ! It's super awkward~! Managed to talk abit and suddenly feel like the last time already, but the awkwardness is still there. After awhile we walked off to play with others, leaving Kim Jun happily chatting with his girl XD
Played around awhile, dad came and fetched and the girls squeeze together while the guys took cab to Rachel's home =( Hais~!! Kind of miss him ? Maybe it's just temporarily for this time? The happiness that I had felt had been so long ago already and it suddenly just come back =D Never mind, I believe impermanence =D Once I slept and wake up the next morning, the magic of happiness will be gone and I'm been pushed back to reality =D That's for sure and I'm sure~
I miss the cute&sweet WeiRong lah~ Yet it's not reality =(
Jackson ? Hais~ Aiya~!! *Roars*
3years&3mths ago were the time that we had broke up LOLS ! Long? No it's not at all and I actually liked him till the time when before I go with Jashawn around one month before it. Oh well~ Kind of missing the past and memories are coming back =( I thought I had forgotten it already =( Oh yeah 27 days, short and sweet yet not much of the memories being left behind =D
27o32oo3 - 18o42oo3 Story Ended =D
I want WeiRong!!
12:39:00 AM
Friday, June 23, 2006
Why am I always being treated so unfairly, I'm not borned to let all of you to treat me like this. It's damn enough. One or two time is enough but not the whole damn of my life. *ROARS*
Arghhh~
5:10:00 PM
Thursday, June 22, 2006
Conferencing for all these few days, guess when school starts, everything will end. Impermanence remember? Good things always end very fast. I'm always the one who motivate people but actually me myself is very demoralised, I just have to act another front. Hais, loads of things to think it over =( I just have to come out with a satisfied answer. Hais~ Don't get me involved in relationship problems can =(
18 years old and below's relationship never work out, I kept seeing all my friends having their boyfriend/girlfriend being changed again and again. So now, I'm facing a problem again~ This is the first one that took me so long to think, usually I will give a straight No as an answer yet right now I'm stuck in this little square. Oh wells~ He treat me really very good from the way he wake up very early in the morning when he doesn't have to wake up so early at all to wake me up. Awww, this is very very contradicting.
BOO~
8:29:00 PM
Did some homework just now, finish just alittle of it. Oh wells~
我要快乐
2:12:00 AM
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
Holidays are left afew more days, homeworks still there. I guess I will try to finish by today =( I need to and I have to. Hais~ things hasn't been very well. People always have this judgement that they're okay when it's actually not. Why do people can let go of things so easily yet I still clinging on so tightly? I felt so different, so much different.
LOLS, was going through the forums and I found this "Hosility Abound", definitely saying about me xD !! It's been half year ago already? Times fies, yet now I can't be bothered with this kind of stuffs. I must really thanks ZeMing for all the things that he had told me and trying very hard to understand the situation. Yet now, I felt that it's a super childish problems. I still wondering why I spent time doing on this stupid stuffs. I mean it's super stupid and funny when I think back LOLS !! It's true that ZeMing told me that when we looked back we will find it childish. I really want to thank him alot alot =D LOLS !! WenCai is so kaypoh that he got to know this XD !! *laughs*
As I scrolled down, I saw the one that is "Testing site hacked". LOLS, okay I was doing the testing of the website for it and then I finished everything and was waiting for ZeMing to ask me to do other things when the next time he told me "website is hacked" LOLS I thought it was a joke and it's indeed true enough that the website is hacked -.-" I mean I don't expect anyone to hacked into the account when I just started doing it and there's nothing that he would want to take it. This is stupid~ LOLS I shall radiate loving kindness to him and may him be well and happy for hacking into my website LOLS
I guess I shall go and do my homework right now =( Motivate me anyone? hais~ My blogskins is not okay right now either =(
4:18:00 PM
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
Went for the course today as usual and had our test. I'm sure to pass but if I don't, then that's too bad. Sat around and play around with guides and then off to go Cine to eat our breakfast and I'm going back in the afternoon -.-"
Anyway I'm gotta sneek into the cinema. ARghh, when is my birthday coming? In afew few more months and my birthday will be Friday the 13th. Ohwells~ NC16 =( Why is there NC16 when it seems so lame. Who the heaven had changed this? If you want M18 & R21, no one cares because I don't watch. Yet now you make the NC16, stupid~!!!!
I'm feeling heaty right now, am I going to be sick ? Oh wellls~~~
BOOOOOOOOOOOOO~ Saded!
12:03:00 PM
Monday, June 19, 2006
=( I'm sad~ I want to go for the meditation thingy, I want~! What the heaven lahhhhhhhh~ Just suddenly feel this way, it's not the right time can ~! arghhhhhhhh~!
5:24:00 PM
I'm rotting soon~ I will be going for the Energy Conservation Course for tomorrow morning and the homework, I didn't even touch it. How pathetic? Very pathetic xD ! I guess I'm going crazy soon~! LOLS !! Had been rotting at home since buddha knows when, yet I'm happy that we're having a Primary School gathering on this friday. It's a BBQ~ I hope it won't be another boring time because it's like I had lost contacts with them so long, I doubt we still have those common topic to chat on unless I'm in the same school as them but too bad~ I'm a extra one who choose to go to Manjusri Secondary~ But at the same time, I'm glad I came to this school because if it's not MJR, I wouldn't be in SBM =D
So many years had passed, I wonder if weirong still remember what had happened last time, but for me the memories seems fading away already, couldn't remember THAT much what's had been going on. Afterall it's been 3 years and these 3 years had more stuffs to let me worry than to remember all these nonsense. xD No longer having all those love stuffs problem yet I know everyone is bound to have one but I choose not to worry abut anything because if it's yours, than you can never run away from it. If it's not mine, I shall let it go. At least this way, I don't have to ponder over love stuffs because love problems are always so complicated that I never wanted to touch it and now I had been gone from all those complicated stuffs and I don't want myself to be back there so soon. I'm just not ready =D People around me are falling in love yet I felt like a idiot being an odd one out again LOLS !
Family issues had been always there ever so long that's why I never wanted to stay at home to rot. I rather be outside with friends than with them. Brother had been so attitude that I couldn't
take it. Stop acting like you're one officer, so what you're officer. No big deal at all, to me you looked & sound more like a loser. Officer so what? I don't give a damn~! Seriously I don't~ =D
I want to sleep =( I'm having eyebags nowaday =( BOO!~ ohwells
3:21:00 PM
Saturday, June 17, 2006
I'm a happy happy girl!! I got my password back but it's weird because I had been trying the same password for so long and yet only this time it's correct. Who cares anyway at least I got back my password and I'm happy!! Thanks to all the people who had tried to help me in one way or another =D !!!
Did the job yesterday and I find it super boring. It's like you had to stand at one entrance and you count how many people had walked in by pressing some kind of stuff. I had been standing there for 4 hours and doing absolutely nothing at all. I can't play my song because beside me was a CD shop and all they played was the same song over and over again for 4 hours. It's not the same album, it's the same SONG! What the heaven~ I never hear the song before yet now I can really sing it already. Stupid right~ Prayhard that today they will change some song or rather change the album. I'm got to be crazy for listening it over and over again. Around 10.30pm, lesser and lesser people it will get, shops started to close and lights will be off and I'm in a total darkness. -.-" A very dangerous job because you're the only one standing there in a dark dark place. Oh wells~
My job is to press and press =D
After around 11.30pm, I was sitting at that particular place and someone kept snapping at me. I was like "what the heaven?" He kept using his camera to snap and snap, it really pissed me off alot. After that he went up to the second floor of the wet market and continue snapping, thus I took out my handphone and snapped at him back. Finally, he stopped. He's like damn stupid for switching his flashlight on and when he took the photo, the flashlight flashes at me. Too bad, my handphone wasn't that clear and so the photo I took was useless.
You better don't try to be funny for today~ Get lost =D
I was working at the location 5 and there's a fight happened at the location 1. I couldn't see the fight but I can see
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Policecars!!
Ambulance?
At least police comes were alright but why is the ambulance here? There was no injury at all and the police come down to take a walk. I had been living here ever since I'm borned and every weekend around 2 - 3am, there will be a fight downstair. Each time the fight had end, then the police car will appeared and they are on a super slow speech. It's like damn stupid can, why are you here when the fight had already been finished 10 mins ago?? Oh well, no offend =X
Oh yayyy~ I'm got to go for my work soon. 7 dollar per hour XD Stupid job yet can earn money easily LOLS. BOO~!! BYEBYE~!!
I'm a happy hapy girl =D
5:31:00 PM
Friday, June 16, 2006
Ivan introduced me this weird job that I find it super funny that I'm supposed to work from 8pm - 12am which is at Bugis Street and all I had to do was to count how many people is there in the Bugis Street. 7 bucks per hour for this job. I find it super weird and this really make me curious alot. Didn't want to take the job at last but shall tried for it this time and if it's a lousy job I doubt I will go back for the second time. LOLS !! That Ivan better don't bring me to some stupid job that I looked down on. LOLS Pray for me that this job was no nonsense =D
Wondered what should I do tomorrow? =(
Should I rebond or should I not =(
2:49:00 AM
Thursday, June 15, 2006
Suddenly felt myself being such a loser~ BOO myself~ Sad-ed! It seems like loads of my friends and I had a communication breakdown. Or is it that I had think too much? Oh wells~ Just felt like I'm the only one alone now and I don't know who is really my friends. =( Someone enlighten me please =(
I need motivation to study again =( hais~
life had been really down nowadays
5:14:00 PM
Went to his house and I want to thank Michelle for cooking for us xD. Played manjong over there and I won 3 times xD !! Well, we did not play with money though LOLS. Vic had his filming today and two of his friends were my MJR ex-seniors. I'm like so suprised when they called up to me. This is such a small world LOLS !! Entertained myself by watching their filming because they had to do all kinds of stuff to act out and it really can make me laugh.
The others stayed overnight while me & Lincoln went home, I know it's stupid but then I had to rush my homework. I haven't finish any at all. LOLS Well, I just have to start one day~!! Wish me luck please~!! Things are piling up and it's making me tired. So many things to be done in such a short period of time, I hoped by hooks or by crooks I will finish everything.
Thought through and I think I hold a very big responsibilities, I should not let anyone disappointed. Afterall, it's not one's problem, it's everyone problems. There are changes but it's me who had to change to adapt to the environment and it's not changing the environment to suit my liking. This is the obstacle that I had to take, might be hard as nobody is got to be there to help me along the way anymore. So, I had to learn to be independent. Afterall, it's not the first time I tried to be independent. I'm got to face through it no matter what =D Yay~ This might be the only good ending that most wanted, it's still okay. I will do what I should do =D
I'm tired~ Tata, off to sleep =D
night *light offs*
2:12:00 AM
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
Had nothing to write for today, don't know why I felt that I write blog is for the sake of writing it. I've no idea what I'm writing and I don't know what can I write. It's no longer like the past where I can write a long post which contains loads of stupid things that had happened but I just couldn't write it down now. I don't know where had gone wrong or rather I had give up everythings. Somethings can't be said through words, speech or anything. I just feel so down nowaday that I have no mood to do anything, definitely not
Took neoprints with my fellow guides today and it seems like yesterday that we ever had did all these stuffs in Secondary 1. We're in Secondary 3 now, 2 & half year had pass so abruptly. Things happened in these years but I had let it behind me, no point pondering it over it since it's past. Yes, it's my past. I treasured my past because it really hurt alot yet in the same time it make me grow stronger each days. I had pressed the "refresh" button but there's just some barriers between it, my history. It had refrain me from doing alot of things and trusting anyone. Just too afraid that history might repeat itself, it's not the ending that I wanted at all.
给我你的爱
11:43:00 PM
Monday, June 12, 2006
MooMoo~ =D
The cheese cake I made had left 1/4 of it. I know it's pathetic but I didn't know that my family can eat the cheese cake so fast and when I just opened the fridge just now, I saw only 1/4 left. =( I haven't really eat some you know ~
First thing that I had done in the morning was to go for GirlGuide's meeting for the camp and left halfway because have to rush home for piano, after that went to meet SBM. Anyway a great day spent with them today but a rather weird day too, ZhenYu organised the activities for today but he just plan for Movie and when we finished the Movie, we didn't know what to do anymore LOLS ! So just slacked around in some corner of the Taka and chit chat. Nothing much for today~ Oh ya, we watched "The Omen 666", supposed to watch "The Nun" but we just eventually went to watch "The Omen 666" because "The Nun"'s seat are left with the first two row and we don't want to strain our neck LOLS!
A rather stupid show as I can say, nothing special but I just remember I was shouting away all the times. Feeling so embarrassed =( The scene are really that scary but I just shouted so loud. Stupid I know~ LOLS Well, I shan't say anything about the movie or should I say ? Because I really highly discouraged people who are going to watch it LOLS !! I rather watch "Silent Hill" than watching any of the show. Stupid~ LOLS!
Okay, the story goes like this. A couple gave birth to a baby boy, but they said that it's dead and eventually give them a new baby boy because the wife couldn't take any stress if she know that her son had died. So the couple raised the son up, eventually a woman came and said that she will like to take care of their son when they're not around the house. They agreed and she moved in. Alot of stupid things happened and they said that the boy is a devil. At last, the wife was killed by the woman while the husband was trying to kill the boy because everyone said he must kill the boy. And his loved one died one by one, a priest told him that he can identify him as a devil by his scar. There's a 666 scar. So he wanted to kill the boy and some stupid policeman shot him to stop him. Stupid show as I can say~ So the boy just lived and both the parents died. LOLS !!
Oh wells~ !!
Tomorrow I'm having a Girl Guide Energy Conservation course and I must wear Full-U down. Oh my~ I hate to wear Full-U because it's so hot!! I just hoped it can end early x)) YAY~!!!!!!!
Bored Bored Bored~!! Should I rebond my hair or should I not LOLS !!!!! I want more shopping please =(
My playlist played "DengDai", and it just remind me of someone. I know it's my fault for not giving you a chance but we're better off this way. I don't want you to get hurt in the future neither I want myself to get hurt in the future. I rather we're hurt in the early part than at the later part. I know I'm selfish and that I know you're nice, but sometimes thing will change in the future. Future for us is far, I have no confidence into it. It's not only you're hurt, I'm too. I'm sorry and I'm really very sorry~ It's my selfishness that does not allow us to start.
I put the memories of it behind, you've changed and it's no more the one that I used to know. I'll let it go =D
I just wish there's someone will be there when I needed.
At this point of time, when I needed it.
Yet when I looked around, there's aren't any.
I'm got to be the one suffering alone again.
I wanted someone to help but I couldn't trust any.
I'm sorry to have hurt any of you this few days, it's just not my day this time round =( Sorry~
11:49:00 PM
Sunday, June 11, 2006
Cheese cake that I made ~ YAY~!!
Loads of activities had been going around, hasn't had anytime for myself =( I haven't done any homework, neither did I pratice my piano once. I'm sad~ LOLS~!!
Had been rather busy nowaday and whole holiday is full. I want to rebond my hair, it's too sucks~ I want to finish all my homeworks before school starts. I want to do a new blogskins and I want to improve on my Mogallana blog. I want to go out shopping, I want to do this I want to do that.
Big brother's GF came today to stay at my house and it's kind of fun playing board games together, it seems like I'm getting back to my childhood time again. If I did not remember wrongly, I always play board game and those toys with my brothers & playing anything with my childhood friend - Amanda =D I just love my childhood time with nothing to worry about and nothing on mind at all. Now my holiday is going to be finished and there's still alot of programmes coming up and I really wish the holiday can be longer. Once holiday is finished, I'm back to my mugging day and hours of studying. =(
I did stupid things yesterday, forgotten to turn my phone to silent and then when we were meditating, it just rang. It's super bad thing that I done because everyone is concentrating and it just rings =( Sorry~!! I did wrong things again~ LOLS Anghwee told us something and I decided to join Buddhist Interact Club. They really need help alot. MJR people, please try to join them.
Today, brother and his GF wanted to go and watch Silent Hill Preview but the weather is so cooling so I decided to stay home and rest. LOLS Maybe pratice some piano and do some homework.
Well, loads of things I want to plan for this holiday. Anyone want any outing or gathering can kindly call me xD !!
I'm stupid x))
12:15:00 AM
Friday, June 09, 2006
The first time I made the cake, my aunt forgotten and put too much peach juice. And now the second time of the cake I made by myself, after a long period of time, it become yogurt. My buddha~ -.-" Oh my oh my~!! Shall update about the outing soon =D Sad-ed~!!
Sorry LiangJian!! & FuZhong!!
Made the cake is because this is the last outing before we officially been change to other group. And the second reason is because it's their birthday~! Third reason is because I had promised to do one for them to eat~ Oh wells~ I hope they don't mind the ugliness of the cake~!! Sad-ed =D
*cries* Runaway~ LOLS
10:55:00 PM
Thursday, June 08, 2006
A story shared by ShiXiong and I decided to share with all (Story been changed alittle due to loss memory)
A farmer had a donkey and he hate the donkey alot. One day, the donkey fell into a hole and he started to cry, hoping that someone will save it out. Yet, the farmer decided to bury it alive. He dig all the sand and started to throw it into the hole. The donkey cried even more louder and louder while the farmer continued digging and throwing the sand into the hole. Finally, the cried came to a halt but the farmer still continued. After awhile, the farmer decided to walk over to see the hole but the donkey had jumped up from the hole and run away.
Why did it happened?
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The donkey just shaked alittle of his body and the sand will just dropped onto the floor. And as more sand piled up, the nearer to the ground the donkey is.
Moral: Even no matter how much shits you're in, you can be just like the donkey. Shake alittle of your body and you are one step nearer to the ground. When we're in shits, we can just walked through and we're more stronger each day. It's shit that make us stronger and it's shit that bring us to a greater height.
I will be okay soon with this good story carrying in my head =D
BOO~~!!!
Went to shop for my grocery with my mum and we bought all the things at 50 bucks. Oh my~ My fridge is really in a very pathetic state which I can't find any food to cook. At least right now, I know there's food for me in the fridge and I can cook anytime I want. YAY~ =D I loves to eat alot nowadays and I think I'm going fat soon =(
Shall post a later part =D I continued my videos YAY~ =D
5:31:00 PM
Wednesday, June 07, 2006
Found out somethings are better to be kept inside than to telling others, maybe a small little thing that others feel that it don't really matter to one but it actually matter or rather it matter to me alot. Even by a small little thing that no one care, I care. I'm always weird too bad~ Take it or leave it x)) And I appreciated things even it's seems small to others. Learnt alot things these few days with afew people guiding me along but I still lost the way, don't know which is good for me. I don't like to go around telling how much I've done or what, I only like to do things quietly but it's always other and other happy happy taking the credits. No matter in school or whatever. At home, I cleaned the house and my brother got the cheek to say that he done it, then if anything went wrong or computer is spoilt. It's not the 3 of us fault, but it's only my fault and my fault. Good things I'm not always shared but bad things I always been counted in.
Sometimes there are more things than simple things that you see, but not all seen it or it's more that others see only the surface and hear the surface but not everything must be said in details. It's either you understand or you don't - just this little two ways. They always say "you don't say then how can anyone to understand", please just use your heart to feel, not everything must be come out from the mouth. Some things are better to be feel by yourself and sometimes people needs are just a listening ear not some comments. That's alot things that I had been learning all this while. Maybe through self-experience or others.
I don't talk much this few days, just want to be alittle quiet. Though I still feel weird chatting and chatting halfway and there's nothing to talk anymore which it don't really happened last time but I just sometimes don't feel like talking anymore. BOO~! Sorry~!! Had been apologising this few days and keep doing wrong things =(
Nothing to write~ =D BOO~ I'm still feeling sick =( Help me please~ Giddy and weird feeling keep inside me. HELP ME PLEASE~!!
BOO!!
5:01:00 PM
I don't know why I keep smell Prawn~! I want to eat but I wondered when is my mummy cooking, my fridge is so empty that I can't even search for any foods to cook and eat. I think I must ask my mummy to go shopping for grocery already, if not I will be starve to death since I'm so lazy to go downstair to buy. XD Anyway I've been watching Youtube for this whole afternoon, I really hope to get out of home tomorrow. Bored~
I've got alot of things to blog but I don't know how to start LOLS, oh well suddenly feel like I lost the ability to blog LOLS~ I can't even tell anything yet LOLS weird~ Hmmm just feeling alittle distant with everyone, like i'm alone again~ =( Sad-ed Alright~ I going back to watch my show already =D Got time then I will be back x))
-wanlingx
11:08:00 AM
12:55:00 AM
Hmmm went out with SBM people today and ate gelare, it's nice but expensive. After that we played around in arcade and Alvin caught a soft toy for Maddie while Ryan caught one mickey YAY~ Played Parapara and Rockfever which I haven't been touching for ages and the stupid Parapara bully me =( The censored can't censore my hand =( Too short hand and I'm short I know~ LOLS!! But it's weird, I can play last time but why can't now. The machine sucks okay, not my hands fault LOLS~
After that went to BBQ, don't know why just feeling the atmosphere isn't right. Just keep feeling very weird~ Guess I'm bad at blending into conversations recently? Finding myself very weird nowadays~ Oh wells! LOLS! Hmmm after that cycled around and my butt really very pain, can we modify the sit to some cushion one LOLS? Then after that sit around and chat among ourself and after awhile we left already. Bored ~!! I'm feeling weird now =(
Reshuffling in 4 days time~ Sad-ed LOLS !!
No mood to write liao boo!! Sorry hasn't been writing my blog well =(
12:21:00 AM
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
I learnt about flushing about pupu today from WenCai LOLS !! He thought me about the inside and the outside of the flush, and blahblahblah. LOLS ~ Thanks alot =D Let's wash the pupu away together LOLS~
Shall come back to blog tomorrow. Don't know how to write my blog anymore -.-" Well I still love you don't worry =D but is just that somethings I don't know how to tell this blog LOLS ~ weird~! Sorry =(
byebye~
12:06:00 AM
Sunday, June 04, 2006
Tomorrow is Jashawn's birthday, few of them asked me to forgive him and just say a happy birthday to him but it's seems hard. TOO BAD JASHAWN, you still suck =x But I forgive you already x)) I'm contradicting myself again~ Weird -.-"
I tell you, absolutely no one can understand or can feel the way I'm feeling now~ Why am I always digging a shit hole for myself, I don't have to care all these and making myself unhappy doing all these shit stuffs. I don't at all~ Why should I spend my money, time, efforts on all these things? Aiya, whatever. Please just kill me alive or let me die and be dead myself. Shit and shit and shit and still shits~ Why am I facing shits all my life man~! Just when I thought my life is getting on a smooth way and it's just 360 degree U-turn and I'm back to the same pathment again. Freaked up~ No one truly understand seriously & I really need some understanding but not one was there.
If really there's nothing that could prove my thinking wrong, I quit~
I need a shoulder please =( Oh wells~ no mood to blog at all. Freaked up life~
10:23:00 PM
There's afew weird egyptian talking on msn with me, they added me and started to chat with me. Crazy people, too bad I just block all of you, I don't like to talk to stranger sucker~ And to that whoever who had given them my email, you suck. I know who you are =D Stop being a loser and start giving them my email when I don't even bother to know them or rather I'm not close with you and you just give my email so easily. You suck =D Get outta my life~
I had real enough~
I can't trust anyone anymore~
12:50:00 AM
Saturday, June 03, 2006
You hate me, yes I know~
People don't think too much, it's not about anything that you had think. Try breaking the Da Vinci Code =D
I'm getting myself a job, hope I can get it. This might not be a good idea but I like to run away from it can't I? I need to thank Jackson for helping me so much =D If I really can get the job, then I must be jumping around already because I'm happy =D Call me loser xD I don't care. I won't care any stuffs anymore, back to my outside world. Friends I will be back, sorry for neglecting all of you so much =D
*disappointed*
Lost a most thing that I treasured, nothing will be same anymore.
10:25:00 PM
He had cut his hair without having me to prepare to see the way he looked like, I went for the Camp Ehi-Passiko so when I come back I was super tired but I managed to play with him for awhile before I get back to my sleep, but when I woke up. My boyboy had turned into chiwawa again -.-" I remembered the last time he had become a chiwawa was during Chinese New Year but that time I helped my mum to cut his hair but then this time I had no idea what had happened until the next day when I woke up and I was eating happily but my boyboy came out under the sofa and I shouted " WO THE TIAN AH~!"
Want to see what do he looked like now?
BEFORE~!!!
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AFTER~!!!!!
He is so thin now lah~!! What happened!! LOLS I shall feed him as much as I can let him become chubby chubby xD !!
BOO~!!!
Scary bo~ LOLS ~ Lame =/
10:02:00 AM
Whatever~
1:59:00 AM
Friday, June 02, 2006
Hmmm, found out that nowadays the way I smile made my eyes go in a line LOLS !! Weird way of smiling xD but i don't know why =X anyway we're having a basketball matches tomorrow with SBM, anyone want to join? SBM had become a part of my life now and it's going to be it till buddha knows when. LOLS !~ It seems like my 2nd home and my 2nd family already. I can't imagine if I lost them =( Ohwells~
I'm bored again =( what should I write now LOLS~ hmmms~ well when I thought of it then I write it okay LOLS I'm BORED LAH~
10:34:00 PM
I told you being a GL isn't easy LOLS ! BUT I NEVER REGRET BEING ONE =D YAY~
BORED~ I had been slacking at home for one day already, kept sleeping and sleeping and now I had slept 20 hours LOLS, well 4 more hours and it will be 24 hours =D YAY~ I shall get back to my sleep again. BYE~ =D
9:14:00 PM
Okay all my smiles look faked but LOLS who cares =x I'm not wearing make up or dolling up myself at all tat time LOLS. Too lazy~ And I woke up late =D Not really I woke up late is cause my father is too kiasu and he wanted to be there much much early and we ended up shopping there wasting our time away instead of sleeping at home. Stupid~
Okay the dishes weren't that great except the small octopus and the shark's fin. I loves Shark's Fin alot okay~!!! Luckily is that tat day we didn't had any abalone xD !!! Okay I shan't say things about abalone unless those that I had told you. XD !! Hmm didn't really enjoy the whole day, I rather be with SBM but I would miss my Shark's Fin at the same time. LOLS
Hmmm Finally, we had our Camp Ehi-Passiko Prequel 2oo6 =D It's my first time being a GL and I really can say it's a very tough job. It's not like camper that you can play all your heart out. After the campfire, I can say is that my physical and my mentally was drained already. As a GL, I have to lead, takecare of them and the main objective is to let them have their fun while I have to take all the responsibility on myself if anything happened and get scolded if something goes wrong. It's not a very easy job as I can say if I were ot compare being a Camper and a GL. Though we can still play with the campers but the things we do have to set a good examples to them.
My group, I have only one word to say - Jialat. I can't control their disclipline at all, neither is Victor Teo. Both of us had tried our best already, we spend time talking to them, telling them, motivate them & the last thing we had to do is to scold them. We do all the things that we can do, I never see Victor had been so stressed up before and so angry before you know. I really never see it before and I really feel very guilty over it, but we really did our best already yet there's nothing we can do anymore. Hais~
During our Around the World, we were together and as I can say at first they were very good but they never respect others neither do they listened at times until I shout my lungs out then they will keep in a line. At that part of time I kept having remember the line "There's no bad campers, only bad GL" yet my group wasn't listening to me at all, I was scolding them and then Coli said that "I can't scold the campers like that" right infront of them after I scold them, I going to break down at that part of time already, it's like I can't control them and they were really very disrespectful. I don't know how to describe that kind of feeling at all and with Coli saying me. I'm lucky enough is that I have Xiao Hui who is very supportive of me all the times. No hard feeling, just having the comment inside me.
A very good experience for me and facing a very bad group when I'm being the GL first time. All I can say is that I want to thank the girls camper who had halped me alot and trying to behave to keep me from having more troubles, they really help alot. I must thank Victor Teo too for encourgaing me and Xiao Hui for helping me alot alot & Coli for interacting with the group.
I'm lucky is that I keep trying to control my emotion by not crying at all, but when I was talking with LiangJian and all they said that I should cry -.-" LOLS !! Despite all those bad experience, I had fun during my war games and had fun bringing all of them to the 5 stations during around the world because I might not be able to go to all of the stations if I'm a organiser and I'm happy that I could lead all my group to all the stations and letting them to try the various activities =D CHEERS!~ And for the first time I'm with the organisers being the Nam Thong Mai Rah and letting the camper to shoot us and being so wet and it's different from being a camper. A camper wouldn't be so wet as the organisers because 70+ of them shooting the few of us. Hmmm the campfire is also another new experience, we had to bring up all the campers' morale high up, so I can see all the organisers' shirt were all wet and we were sweating like hell.
Anyway being the GL, we're the middle person and thus I managed to get to know some of the organisers more and the campers. Managed to get to know Ah Pork, Big Ryan & the Felicias more. I didn't regret taking up the GL role though it's very hard and I had fun being the partner of Victor Teo because he never failed to brighten up all of us with his stupid actions. *Thumbs Up* A good experience to have.
Moral: It's hard to lead a group, never think that's easy because it's super hard being one. But it's fun to be one when you see all the campers being so happy and having a smile on their face when they're happy =D Bring joy to us okay~!!
Yay~!! SBM Youth Rock the whole Camp Christine and of course the Camp Ehi-Passiko 2oo6 Prequel Rocks =D
New experience learnt and I'm happy =D
11:17:00 AM
Thursday, June 01, 2006
Anyway, a very good experience for me and the things that happened is very very bad. Want to know why? Then please come back to read later on =D CHEEEEERS
I MISS ALL OF YOU =D
6:20:00 PM
