I know my blog is getting more and more boring. But I really can't do anything at this part of the time, I've been too busy and I'm sorry for the short post.
I'm sorry my blog.
I love you though. :)

11:28:00 PM

Just a short post alright, I'm too tired now.


I woke up late today. But still, I managed to reach there at 9.30am. :) Dad, Aunties & Grandma came. I was running around looking for stuffs and grabbing people to get them to spend some money for the sake of the temple. I sweated like hell.


Then, I met Calvin & guys. They were deciding whether to go for a movie. In the end, we went over to Bugis and they catch the movie while I went to SBM. I was trying to weigh between SBM & them. In the end, I chose SBM. Never mind, I can always catch another show with them next time. :)


I'm tired. I'm going to sleep. Bye ~



Guide Camp tomorrow. I hope it's fun.
SBM Camp is coming next week. I can't wait ! Please let time flies faster. :)

10:39:00 PM

Yeah, I've got nothing to blog. Just some random stuffs that I went to SBM after woking up at 7.30pm and realised that I was terribly late. -.-" So yeah, dad sent me. Sometime, I've been pondering that humans are damn self-centred. All they care was themselves. Perhaps, it was this surreal reality that made us who we are today. Maybe, people should learn to slow down their footsteps and to start reflecting upon their actions.


When people give me their freaking attitude, I'll give them back. If you know me well, you will understand who I am today. It's just that basic theory. You treat me well, I'll treat you well. If you give me your freaking attitude, I'll make sure I'll give it back to you. What goes around will evetually comes around. Have that in your mind. I'm not someone whom you can mess with, this is a fact. If you think you are that great, mind you, you are nothing seriously. Don't think you are close with so-and-so, people will respect you for it. Look at your character, look at your freaking attitude, do you think you are worth the respect ? Freak off man ~ I aren't a hypocrite. When I don't like certain people, I'll show it. Just too bad if you don't like me, because I don't like you either. Initially, I think you were great. But just too bad, you spoilt that impression.


You know what. I'm supposed to reach SBM at 8 in the morning. And it's 3am now. So I'm just left with that few hours again. But still, I had fun with the guys. :) Mao was so great please, he kept helping me when I don't know what to do at all. Wencai was very nice to keep helping me to clear my doubts when I had trouble with the installation.


Oh yeah, I went to see my god-uncle after SBM. He's getting old. It's been years that I had last seen him. He still cares alot for me. =( Seriously, when I was about to leave, I had that tinge of unwillingness to leave. I think I miss him. =)


I hope it's going to be fun tomorrow. :) I hope to see more of the usual SBM people that we used to hang out with. I think I miss the past SBM. Everyone was so great ! If time could tune back, I would have wanted it to stop. But still, we know SBM have to have changes. So yeah, I just miss the past. I just can't wait for Camp Ehi-Passiko that is coming up soon. I have never look forward for camp except this one. Perhaps, it really make a difference in my life. Even if I'm to take up a heavy roles for the camp, I'll be more than willing to take it. I just don't know why, I just felt it that way. Just 10 days to my dearest CEP, I just can't wait. :)


I'm off to sleep ! It's 3.15am, I'm supposed to wake up at 6.30am tomorrow. -.-" Life's so "great".

2:48:00 AM

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

I miss him. :(

I'm being contradicting isn't it ? I say I wanted to forget him but still, my heart say I still couldn't put him down. Never mind, nobody understands it, even him.


Well, I'm going over to SBM now to help out for tomorrow Vesak Day again. It seemed like I have been seeing them every consecutive days since last Thursday. Cool huh~! =X Alright, don't worry, I'll still do a little bit of my studying when I have the time there. :) I hope it will be fun tomorrow ! :) Vesak Day is a good day because I will get to have a day free from books ! :) I love buddha ! =DDD


Sighs, but I still miss him too. =(



On the verge of breaking down ~

3:49:00 PM

I've been so busy the whole day. After school, we had a short match between Chenglong, Yiwen & my team with Weiming, Rainer & me. We won ! But the second half, we lost. =X Never mind ! It's just a game. After that, I went to join SBM. A series of eventful stuffs happened and I shan't elaborate. Let bygones be bygones. :)


I'm tired. I'm off to bed. I have been neglecting my blog recently. Please do not blame me, I just did not have the extra time to blog. I've to weigh the time between studies, friends & SBM now. So well, I'm really been quite busy recently. Do not expect me to be online till the wee hours. =( I miss everyone. Sighs ~


Nights ~

1:30:00 AM

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

I remembered that dream that I had recently, it was the one that someone told me that I will do badly in this 'O' level. Maybe dreams do come true... Sighs, I was so afraid that when I woke up, I woke with cold fright. I think dream sucks. For that whoever who had given me that dream, thank you so much, but please give me hint when you know that I'll be doing it badly so that I'll have a change in fate. :)


Sighs, maybe I should have remember this dream earlier and take it as a motivation for me to study. But what over had been over, no point crying over spilled milk but still, I really felt like venting my agony. Sighs ! Maybe life do really suck.

12:56:00 AM

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Friends like you, last forever...


It's been not a good day. I was so moody that I don't feel like talking at all. I know I screwed up the paper, I know I won't do well anymore. I was so demoralised that I didn't want to do anymore. When I read the comprehension, I knew that it's going to be a tough papers. I think I wrote out of point in the Composition and I'm bound to do badly for this 'O' level. This is the worst scene that I ever want to come across, I don't want to retrieve the result with a sad face. But right now, I have no choice anymore. I'm going to retrieve it with that face, that's it and it is a fact now.


We went to watch the Pirates of Carribean The Final Showdown. I shall rate it 10/10 ! Please catch it before you miss it. :) I love Johnny Debb so much. I think he looks extremely great with the thick eyeliner. =X At least when he put the eyeliner, he doesn't look gay like some other guys. I often cannot stand the sight of having a guy wearing a thick eyeliner standing infront of me. No doubt that some guys look great in it while some others... Please just throw away your eyeliner or give it to your girlfriends. :)


There's school tomorrow and i'm so demoralised that I don't feel like studying anymore. Sighs ~ I almost wanted to cry out after the papers. The paper was so tough, I didn't know that the comprehension would be that difficult. I hope the moderation could bring our grades up. :) Everyone, please do badly alright, so that we will be able to have moderation together. =X


What will it be feeling like if you were me?


I remembered there was a time where a few people were discussing about to be loved or to love will be a better choice. Uptill today, I still strongly agree with my thinking that I had last time. I think to love & be loved in return is the best. :) But at certain circumstances, we were forced to choose between the two, I'll choose to be loved. Perhaps, humans are selfish. But if I were to have it apply into my life, I will not choose to be loved. If you just wanted to be loved and accept the love when you know you won't love him/her, then weren't it be tough for the two of you eventually ? In love, I think there is never a right or wrong answer. You won't know when your feeling will start to develop, neither do you know when it will fade. It was my Brother's ex-girlfriend decision to leave. If I were my brother, I think I weren't be able to really let him go. I will be thinking why did he say he love me so much but the next moment, he loved another person. It was all the same. My brother had the same thinking too. Yet in relationship, you will never get a definite answer. When it comes, it will just come. When it goes, it will just go without having you to notice. Was all the relationship a pain ? Why everyone is suffering because of the relationship they had ? If only things could be much simpler, maybe life will be better.


I didn't know I will fall in love with that guy too. When you love him, you just love him. I'm still learning to pick myself up and let it go, just like my brother. I didn't know we often fall into the same category - the despair ones. When I had my first boyfriend, I lost him. At the same time, my brother lost his girlfriend too. And now, it was all the same again. He don't like me. From the way he talks so great about other girls, I can feel that he just wanted me to get upset and get over and done with him.


So yeah, maybe life's gonna get better or worst anyway. That's life. A life that we can never avoid nor preventing to happen. Live it or leave it. :)


Please give me a better tomorrow. I've been getting more and more despair about life.


Innocence is brilliant.

12:02:00 AM

Monday, May 28, 2007

Alright, I think this post came alittle too late. I'm just too busy to blog. Sorry! So well, in about afew hours time, I'm going to face that big 'O' and maybe I'll go about crying after the paper or something. I don't know. Uptill this time, I have not finished studying for it.


So, I joined SBM at Vesak @ Orchard. The weather was so hot and I stayed there for SBM & Clorine's dance group. Oh man, that guy really make me go gaga over him. LOLS ! So after the concert, I went home with Chufeng & Yinghui. Didn't want to stay and rot at Orchard when I'm having papers the next day, so sorry guys ! Finally, after such a long time, I managed to catch up with Chufeng. I just can't wait to see a hairless Chufeng. xD ! I kept telling him how cool his cousin was and kept disturbing him about him not having as cool as his cousin. =X But alright, that was all a joke alright. xD I knew he take it seriously but who cares ! xD Both of them are cool but I think his cousin is cooler. =X


I want to see the dance again ! I want to have Vesak again ! :) I can't wait to see a Botak Ah-Team though. xD CHEERS ! Just some brief entry about my day, I shall blog more tomorrow. :) Night ! Wish me luck ! Pray that everything will go well tomorrow please. Devas please help me. Buddha please help me. GuanDiGong, please help me. DuaBeiGong, please help me. WenChang, please help me. Jesus, please help me. May I do well in this Chinese 'O' and scored a A1 for it. :)



I hope the papers are easy !

1:48:00 AM

Saturday, May 26, 2007

Happy birthday Amanda Goh ! Red roses love~ :)



I'm back from the Vesak @ Orchard. Well, it was rather disappointing since I didn't manage to catch the SBM Band & Clorine's dance group ! Most of all, I wasted my time to make the trip down since I need the time more to do my revision at home. Double sighs ! I shouldn't have went there.


I had a weird dream in the morning. After I woke up, I got a bad headache and I sat on my bed for at least half an hour. But the headache went worst so I sit up and rest. I remembered I had a dream and I went what-the-hell when I woke up. I was trying to remember what had actually happened, but nothing goes in my mind. All I remembered was that I almost teared when I woke up, see how terrible the dream was.


The Great Singapore Sale had officially started ! Oh man, I saw many people inside the mall and I just had the urge to rush in but all the shops were closed. Yet many people are still inside the shop picking on clothes, see how typical Singaporeans are. =X I want shopping too ! Damn 'O' Level ! Why did you come at this time ! I want to get that Zara top ! I want to see if any clothes are nice ! I need a change in my wardrobe ! Money, please drop from the sky !


Irene had taught me how to study in the afternoon and I'm so glad that finally, I had found a solution to study ! Although it is quite late now but at least I hope that last minute work still pay off. It is at least something better than nothing. :) I'm going to mug hard tonight & tomorrow morning before I go for SBM activities. I was wondering if I should go for it. Part of me tells me that I shouldn't go and I should be good and stay at home to study. Yet another part of me remind me that I weren't want to miss out the fun times, so I decided to go and try to focus on my studying when I have time. :)


Alright, I'm back to the books. Goodbye ~


为何当你最想要的东西，你总是得不到？

10:58:00 PM

I HAVE A NEW OBSESSION !

My new boyfriend, my new love..


Don't think too much ~ That's LUO ZHI XIANG ! Oh man, he's so humourous, cute & he loves to make people laugh. I think he's cute, don't you think so ! Ahhhh ! I LOVE HIM ! :) If you don't know who is he, oh man, please go away man. :) He's just so popular and you don't know him ! AHhhh!~ MY LOVE YOU KNOW ! =X



I LOVE LUO ZHI XIANG ! xD

4:08:00 PM

Eugene !!


I didn't have photos to upload anymore. =X So well, I just edit here and there. I know I looked retarded in this photo but well, what can I do? I just don't have any photos anymore ! I shall cam-whore with as many people as I can after O's ! Damn~


So well, I've planned what to do today. I shall rot here till 1pm. I can do anything in this 1 hour liked bathing, eating... Then, I'll be studying till 4pm and get prepared to go Orchard to meet SBM people. :) I want to watch that dance again !


I've been feeling rather emo these few days. Little bits of irritation can make me snap. It's been really hard for me to control my emotions. The more I want to control it, the more I teared. I just wish to put down everything right now, yet another part of me told me to hold onto it.

It's been hilarious. I'm having my Chinese 'O' level in the coming monday, and yet right now, I'm still so affected by the little bits and pieces of the stuffs happening in my life. Shouldn't I be concentrating on what priortise in my life right now ? What am I still doing here, brooding over those stuffs. -.-"


Oh man, I want to join dance ! Anyone can tell me what Jolin's dance is ? She is just so damn hot ! :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SccuPbrQeFc&mode=related&search=


I WANT TO EXERCISE ! :)

12:01:00 PM

Roses are sweet, especially from someone special. :)

I think I had lost most of my fats today. I've been running around in the area when the weather was so hot. I was perspiring so badly that eventually, I changed to a T-shirt. Before the preparation, I went to meet PINGS ! :) I miss her seriously !~ We shall meet after she had her holidays. :) We met up for awhile and they went off, then I went to join SBM at Ngee Ann City. We were so busy till it got everyone so crazy. In the midst of the preparation, I gave up. -.-" Firstly, I thought my side was so not that nice - words. So, I ended up giving up but many people tried to help me. :) Thanks alot ~!


We ended the day by watching the concert. I was screaming at the top of my lungs when Clorine's group was out for performance. I must annouce that Chufeng's cousin can realy dance so well and he made me go gaga over his performance. I was so stunned when I looked at the way he dance, that was so.... talented !! This had even more inspire me to join up a dance course. I had checked out a few of the places. I think I'm quite interested in the G-style dance or maybe hip-hop. :) Don't look down on me alright, I'm a dance member for 6 years during my Primary School alright ! When you dance, you sweat it all out. I'm very determined to lose my fats and get thinner. :)


I won't be joining them for SBM in the afternoon. Perhaps, I will be joining them only during the evening time. I'll be there to support the various group - SBM's Band Group and the Dance Group by PKS ! There will be a Vesak at SBM on the 31st May ! Anyone who is free to drop by, please call me. :) Do some good deeds, donate some money. :) The Camp Ehi-Passiko is coming and I just can't wait to have the camp ! But well, I might have to sacrifice my 8th June from the remedials for the Camp. :) Maybe, I need to get Mdm Toh to talk about it. Anyone is interested to join the camp where joy & love enhale you?


I should turn in now, I've been very tired recently. Moreover, it's been a very tiring day today. I sweared running around isn't a fun thing at all, and I hate perspiring but what can I do ? I can't possible teleport anyway. Great Singapore Sale is coming and I'm left with pathetic 40 bucks with me. -.-" Life's been so "great". Damn ~ I need money ~ I want to go work during the holidays but I think it isn't worth to waste a few days to earn that few ten dollar notes for shopping and neglect my studies. It isn't worth at all. So well, I just have to suffer real bad this Great Singapore Sale. I'm so going to hate myself so much. Sigh~ I hope money drop from the sky. :)


Goodnights !


Happy birthday Amanda Goh !
Happy birthday Liwei !
Happy birthday Zhiwei !

12:22:00 AM

Friday, May 25, 2007

Girl Guides ! :)


We had Passing Out Ceremony today ! I cried when Amanda, Andrina, Dawn & Eliza was wishing us all the best in the video. Oh my~ I'm so touched please ! They were just so sweet. I found meaning in guides, that was them. :) We been through everything, the ups, the downs, we've all been through. The conflicts that we had all these while, we were all alright already. It was just part of life to have conflicts and I'm glad we had it because it taught me to treasure friendships more. :)))))


We had photos taking session after the ceremony. The seniors were so sweet, they bought us pink rose ! :) Sweet ~ I shall post the pictures up some other day ! So, we were taking photos everywhere. It's been such a long time ever since I took photos with Huiwen & gangs. :) My cellphone was off after I took a pathetic photo because my battery was used up. Damn it ~ How unlucky can I go ? -.-" So any kind souls want to send me all the pictures we took ! *smiles*


After that, I went all the way to town to meet up with SBM guys. We were doing the pillar and I think it's so nice. :) I even wrote the longest reflections on the pillar. xD ~ I was supposed to get the attendant by tonight but nobody give me a definite answer except Evelyn & VictorTan. Sighhs. Well, I hope everything goes well please. If not, I'm going to suffer so badly tomorrow by sneizing every bit of the break time to get them replying my messages. Sighhs~


I think life's been ill-treating me recently. It hasn't been great for such a long time. They say that the good times will come around soon but I've been waiting for such a long time, it's still not here yet ! Sucks ~ I was feeling so reluntant to go home when I was on my way home. I slowed down my steps so much that eventually, I went home at a very late hour. My family haven't been treating me nice~ They just go on and on about minor stuffs. They rant and rant over trivial matter. Oh well~ Life just sucks so badly.


I been missing him alot these few days. I wondered if he does too ? But well, I guess he doesn't. Though I'm not hearing him as much as compared to the past, I'm still rather miss him. Sometimes, I really don't mean what I say. Perhaps, that's girls. Girls are hard to interpret. Most of the time, we don't mean what we say seriously. We don't mean to hurt people purposely. So, if we really do, pardon us alright. :)


I think life's been damn bad. Someone saves me please. If not, I'm gonna suffer like hell. Why can't some people just be more understanding and stop giving me nonsense? I've been damn stress over my studies, I just felt like burning my books up. I hate life. I meant it. Never mind if you don't understand what circumstances I'm having right now. Just try to reduce my troubles from all these problems. I just wish I'm better off dead seriously. Life's been damn bad seriously. Everyone blames me. If you don't love me, I don't mind. Just simply don't freaking push all the problems to me, I really can't take it anymore. Hell~ I just want to break down. Freak~

12:58:00 AM

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

黑色的世界


就当会考还没开始前，我还是用华文来写博客。也许会是件好事，也许不会是一件好事。好事就在于我能够最少让我的华文进步一点，坏处就在于我的打字技术还蛮不错的， 但是写文章时，我的华文真的很烂。没办法嘛~多数的时间我都在用英语交流，在少数时间里，我才会用华语。 怪在我太少和父母交谈了，我们几乎都不怎么谈天。这可是教导了我不少的人生经验。因为少了和父母的家交流，不但华文会退步，就连关系也慢慢的疏远了。但如果说爸妈与我的关系，我们并不是很亲但也不能说我们不亲，这我也不太知道，也许从小我和哥哥都是比较亲的。就算交了什么男朋友，他们也会知道。就算我要瞒过他们，他们总是有法子打听到我的消息！真是有点怪怪的~


学校的生活还依然得那么暗淡。没什么特别的，也没什么不特别的。心情还是那么的苦闷。我总是感到有那一点的压迫感。会考还真会让人感到很忧虑，就连想读书，也真的有点难。在爱情里，我还是跌跌撞撞。把心也给弄碎了，我也不理会它了，反正又不是第一次把心给弄碎。现在的我知道我要的是什么，但是心情就是那么的低落，让我感到生命还真是毫无意义。 真是不懂为何我人生的道路里，怎么那么的难走啊？哥说：‘ 你也逃不掉这生命了，为何不好好地用它呢？‘ 但是真的要我怎么让我继续的生活在这十分讨人厌的生命。 无论是在我的友情里、或是我学业里、还是我不再理会的爱情里，我都是那么的失败。真的好失望，我却什么也不能做。 当你看到生活里得出了那么多的不快乐的事，如果你是我，你又会怎样做？


会考要来了，你知道我到目前为止都在做什么吗？我很老老实实的跟大家讲，其实这几天，我都没有心情读书，而会考却要来了，我还是依然的坐在这里什么也不做。好内疚~ 也许我应该读书了， 但是可以不可以有个人来教教我嘛！ 到底华文要怎么读吗！不少人给了我不少的意见，也许明天是时候好好的读书了！如果我再提不起精神来读书，那我也应该别想活了。会考在四天里就要来了，而我什么也还没准备，我还着你个够失败的人。伤心~还是伤心~


我累了，不写了 。 晚安！婉菱不要再胡思乱想了！该读书了！笨蛋！



有时候，我还真的真的希望有个人能够明白我的处境。

10:46:00 PM

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Does hurting me make you happy?


Yay-ness ! You know what, I scored the highest in my Letter Writing in the whole class ! xD ! Mrs Chan said that the highest mark was 18/30 and I exactly had 18/30! English rocks my socks ! I'll try to write my blog in perfect English to improve my English more. I think my English is still not up to the standard yet. Perhaps, I'll continue to do my English after my Chinese . Right now, Chinese 'O' level is still much more important. I really have to do well in it. I need to get an A1 for it. Can Devas help me to get that A1 please. :)


School had been rather boring these few days. Teachers are going through our papers. Corrections after corrections and it's getting so boring. The weather had been bad recently and it's making me feeling so drowsy, I just doze off.


I'm tired. I'll be getting some sleep before doing some revision for my Chinese. Maybe I'll be back to blog again, maybe I won't. I don't know. These few days, I had been feeling so blue. I just don't seem to be myself anymore. I just wish things can be much simpler. All these while, it was just plain false hope. I'm dumb, I'm naive. Name it and I'm just like that. I no longer understand myself. I even lost confident in myself. I lost my faith, I lost my hopes. I lost everything.


I was supposed to sleep at 12am yesterday night. In the end, I slept at 2am. Neither did I play the computer nor did I study, I was just listening to my brother. He had been through so much and yet all these while, I couldn't do anything. At least I know after telling us what had happened to him, I can see that he felt better. That's all I could do as his baby sister. Relationships maybe a sweet one or a bitter one. Nevertheless, I had always been getting those bitter one. Maybe, it was just my karma. So be it, I can't do anything anymore. Sometimes, when a certain song was played in my playlist, certain people will come into my mind. No matter how hard I tried to forget, they were just there...



It is time to move on. You hurt me deep. I surrendered. I could no longer fight back the tears anymore. I didn't know the reason behind it. I didn't know why you could do so much to hurt me with those words. You know it hurts. You know I'm hurt, but you continued. I wonder does it really rejoice you to see me getting angry, jealous and helpless? I had been trying to let it go for these few weeks, I tried and I'm still trying. You still appear in my mind at times when I least expected. You just came across my mind. I'll let go for you wanted me to. I broke down.


心怎么又痛着？
眼泪不听话的流下。

5:45:00 PM

I just felt like blogging. So, I dropped by and blogged. It's Zhenglin's birthday today ! Happy birthday Cheena boy! :) Hope you have a happy birthday alright! May you be well and happppy always! :))



Alright, I was being vain today and I went to look into the mirror for hours. You know what, I found small acnes popping on my whole face. Oh my buddha ~ This has tell me to always check out your face on mirror that you can hold near to you. I have those ultra big mirror where you stand at a distance and looked at your hair or something but seriously, it's of no use. -.-" Maybe, I'll changed the whole damn room position to a better one after O's !


So yeah, back to my acne problems. I had been wondering why do pimples kept popping out every now and then. I concluded that it must be my late night sleep and stuffs. I had cut down on deep fried food and I don't think it's those oily food that has caused it. Damn~ I'm going to sleep early from today onwards~ DAMN~ Life sucks ~ Sighhhs ~ There were so many things I need to do, I need to go on a diet, I need to exercise, I need to sleep early. My life is so controlled by my body. Sighh~ But well, I haven't been feeling well for these few weeks due to the lack of sleep and rest. Maybe, I should learn to turn in early. :)


Oh ya, I had switched to getting information from internet to understand the acne problems. Food does not play a role in it, it might be due to stress. Sighh~ Am I stress ? Am I, am I ? I should learn to relax myself after O's. =( How I wish life could be much smoother. I'll be a good girl if life treats me well. =(



NIGHTS ~

12:05:00 AM

Monday, May 21, 2007

So well, we had gotten back our CCA slip and I scored a B3 only. I've been there for like 4 years but still a B3. My biggest regret in my whole damn life is to join Girl Guide perhaps. Just a two points I'll be getting an A2 but well, maybe they aren't giving it to me. Never mind ~ I should have joined some CCA based on my hobbies and interest instead of going for the one that I thought could have bring me an A1. The seniors told me that joining an Uniform Group will at least give me an A, but what did I get ? Just a B3 and just a pathetic 2 points to my A2 but I just couldn't get that pathetic 2 points. I was so desperate for the two points and I tried all means to get it but still, I can't. So, forget about it.





I was supposed to go home early today to study for my chinese. Yet, I was so not-in-the-mood, I ended up staying in school to do my D&T artefact. It was about 5pm, I told papa that I wanted to go home but he asked me to wait alittle while more since they're finishing their game soon. So, I waited. In the end, they took cab home and he left me alone. Nahh, forget it. I just hate the part where I wasted my time and the damn mosquitos kept feeding on me.





Life just hasn't been treating me nice lately. I had been having the urge to really break down and cry. There were still some people who kept irritate me and I just really felt like crying. Damn~ Why am I so weak nowadays? Sometimes, I was at my most down periods, I found that I couldn't find anyone who could be there. At least, not those that I needed.


I'm not in good mood recently. Don't try me seriously. Maybe don't even try talking to me, I don't know when I'll go crazy and start screaming at you. I just haven't been myself for these days, so just don't try me yeah. =D And yeah, I hope he could just have stop hurting me or something. At least, just don't purposely telling me all those stuffs, it hurts. :)


We had gotten back our Emath papers but yet when teacher was going through at that time, I slept. -.-" You know, lessons are just so boring now. We are having Intensive Chinese Studying for these few days in the Buddhist hall. I had a good seat where wind had been contiously blowing at me. But well, I was feeling so cold that my mind switched off. Was that a good thing or a bad one ?


I'm going to sleep soon ! I don't want to fall asleep in classes anymore. Holidays are coming but yet being a student whom is taking O's soon, I have to sacrifice my holidays. =( Sighhs ~ I hope O's will be ending soon please !!! =((


Sighhs, I think something is not right at my home. No, not about my family nor my dear boyboy. But something that we couldn't really figure out. Something that was unseen. Aha~ Believe it anot, that was it. I shan't say too much of it. I hope "it" goes away. If not, I'm going to feel so freaky. Please get lost from my home ! :)


For your information, I haven't study today. I tried but I failed. Sighs~ I need to study badly ! What am I doing here man, still blogging ? Oh man~ I think I sucks big time. =( Rahhh~ Forget it. Bye!




心痛的感觉，虽然不想去了解，但是我就是这么的深深地痛着。

6:53:00 PM

You know what, I haven't been checking my email for so long and it has been accumulated till 500 unread emails. -.-" I'm sorry if I haven't been reading the email, and I really have to deeply apologise for not reading the emails sent by SBM. I'm just like so busy. Sighs~ Why do life gets so hectic when I wanted it to go slow?


Anyway, been feeling so out of place recently. I hope it gets better soon. I think I'll be going back to my library anytime this week again. Or maybe, I'll be going everyday again. Chinese O's coming in 8 days time and I just have to endure through this 8 days and get an A1, I will die happy. Sister-in-law had been saying that I should speak more mandarin now. But still, I will try to speak mandarin to her and then naturally, I'll change to english. -.-" Maybe I should have taken my brother's advice to just forget about my Mid-year exams and concentrate on my Chinese O's. Sighhhs~ But well, I can't tune back the time now. Just to be realistic, I'm still left with the only pathetic 8 days.


Alright, Great Singapore Sale is coming in 8 days too. Maybe Chinese O's is a blessing in disguise. I just have to do well in it and then I'll shop happy! :) But still, hey I'm broke. Hell, life's "great". If only, I could have like borned with a silver spoon, maybe I'll get happier. XD ! But still, I love my parents. They are still so great to bring me up right. =D Material happiness are temporarily but I just can't resist the temptation of having the material stuffs that I wanted. At least, I will still be able to get happy for that teeny weeny little while ?


Can anyone tell me if Temasek Polytechnic is a better choice or Singapore Polytechnic? I felt like going to Temasek Polytechnic since most of my friends are going there and my Sister-in-law said that it's a good Polytechnic. But still, most of my family comes from Singapore Polytechnic. But Singapore Polytechnic are better in their Engineer course instead of the Business one. So well, maybe I'll choose Temasek Polytechnic. Anyone is going there too ? Or should I join my Cousin in Ngee Ann Polytechnic ?!? She said NP is the best Business Polytechnic in Singapore. Ahhhh~ So, so so which one should I choose ? -.-"


Alright, it's 1am now. I'm still yet to finish up the Portfolio. I just have to like tell Miss Tan that I didn't bring it or something since I'm not intending to bring it anyway. =( I just can't finish ~ I hope I have magic wand to just do it for me. :) Or maybe, Doraemon can do the job. =DDD Fat hopes~


Sighs~ Brother went drinking again. I hope he will get out of the pain. =( I'm worried~



也许被伤得太深，所以再也没办法相信一切。

12:33:00 AM

Sunday, May 20, 2007

That's what I've pretended for everything.


I was supposed to be out with Irene, Dion & Jason. But well, all of them had something on last minute. =( So, I stayed home. Been trying to figure out how do I study for my Chinese and I still could not find any answer to it. Some asked me to read the mistakes I had made earlier on in the Composition while some asked me to try to practice the Composition. Others asked me to read through those vocabulary words and understand it. I wanted to try all the methods but I felt like it's of no use. =.=" Well, maybe I'll try one thing one day. :)


My D&T Portfolio is yet to be done. To be exact, I haven't even started at all. Damn~ Maybe I'll start it later on. Right now, I think I need some sleep before I could get something done. I'm just so tired. =( I won't be going online often during this period towards the Chinese O's. I am feeling so scared for the upcoming O's. My Chinese had been quite bad recently and I only managed to score a B4 for this Mid-Year Examinations. Sighs~


All right, I think I haven't post my results up yet right. It's atrocious but well, I'm still blogging it out since I had always been referring to my blog for my past. :)


English was terrible. I thought I could have at least pass but ended up, I failed by two marks. Damn! I was so damn happy when I took back the paper 1. I scored 18/30 for both Composition and Letter Writing. To sum it up, I scored 36/60, although it's still not that great but at least I managed to pass when all the other time, I had been failing non-stop. Yet, my papers two drag my grades way down and I ended up having 48/100. Damn~


My Chemistry was great too! I scored 70.5/100 but I took Combined Science and my physic had been bad ever since Secondary 3. Thus, my grades were pulled right down. From an A2, I got a C5. -.-" That was how bad my physic is ! My Combined Humanities had been failing ever since Secondary 3. So well, nothing suprising, I scored a F9 again ~ Sighs~


Mid-Year Examinations

English - 48/100 D7
Chinese - 63/100 B4
Emath - 61/100 B4
Combined Science - 57.5/100 C5
D&T - 60.5/100 B4
Amath - 40/100 E8
Combined Humanities - 37/100 F9

L1R5 : 33
L1R4 : 24

Common Test Result

English - 57
Chinese - 54
Combined Science - 54
Emath - 70
Combined Humanities - 31
D&T - 62
Amath - 58

L1R5 : 32
L1R4 : 23

Comparison

English - 57 to 48
Chinese - 54 to 62
Emath - 70 to 61
Amath - 58 to 40
Science - 54 to 57.5
Humanities - 31 to 37
D&T - 62 to 60.5

See how bad I've done compared from the Common Test? I seriously have to work damn hard. DAMN ~ I think I'm such a loser. =( But still, I need shopping !! I hope money dropped from the sky please. =(


wanling study study study lahhh~

5:20:00 PM

I'm THE BEST DAMN THING ! xD


Let me hear you say hey hey hey!
Hey hey hey!

Alright, now let me hear you say hey hey ho!
Hey hey ho!


I hate it when a guy doesn't get the door,
even though I told him yesterday and the day before...
I hate it when a guy doesn't get the tab and I have to pull my money out and that looks bad!

Where are the hopes?
Where are the dreams?
My Cinderella story scene.
When do you think they'll finally see......


(Chorus)
That you're not, not, not,
gonna get any better,
you won't, won't, won't,
you won't get rid of me never,
like it or not even though she's a lot like me....

We're not the same,
and yeah, yeah, yeah I'm a lot to handle,
if you don't know trouble,
I'm a hell of a scandal, me,
I'm a scene, I'm a drama queen,
I'm the best damn thing that your eyes have ever seen!


All right, All right, yeah...
I hate it when a guy doesn't understand why a certain time of month,
I don't want to hold his hand,
I hate it when they go out and we stay in,
and they come home smelling like their ex-girlfriends...


I found my hopes,
I found my dreams.
My Cinderella story scene.
Now everybody's gonna see.....


(Chorus)
That you're not, not, not, gonna get any better,
you won't, won't, won't, you won't get rid of me never, like....

1:52:00 PM

Saturday, May 19, 2007

It is just me. :)


I went for the Campfire Meeting in the morning and went home to rest. In the afternoon, I went to SBM for awhile and went off to meet the guys. I was on the bus alone. I cried. -.-" Alright, it's plain dumb to cry alone in the bus but that was how pathetic I felt. Forget it man.


So I met the guys at MacDonald then they started to decide where we want to go. Initially, they wanted to play bowling but we ended up in the arcade. They played for awhile and we went off to play lan again ! I managed to kill more people than Chenglong in the CS. I'm so proud of myself please. But still, I'm still not as good as Eugene & Calvin. Arghh ! xD ! I want to beat them one day please. =X But still, I shall study hard first though. :)


Aftermath, they went off to watch their soccer while I went home. :) I wanted to study when I reached home but I'm so tired please ! =( Maybe I'll study tomorrow before meeting my Irene !! MISSES ! Dion & Jason not joining us anymore. =( I hope they have a sudden change of mind and join us again. :)



=DDDD


I hope life could treat me a teeny weeny bit better

10:48:00 PM

Friday, May 18, 2007

Why do things always looked so intricate sporadically?


I can't divulge my feeling in a string of rhapsodize words when it's just an euphoria. Why is all that sophisticated problem lingering around? A moment of this and a moment of that is causing my head to spin around. Yeah yeah, life is just full of downs and it has never go as smooth as I wanted it to. I decided to let go. He had seriously hurt me deep. He tried his best to hurt me and he had done it so well. Thank you for your effort for trying. I'm getting tired, maybe I shouldn't have even care.


I had been affected over my exams script. Some people just can never have their never-ending of boastfulness stopped. Or rather, they never know when to stop. It's alright to say it once or twice but when you continued further, it's getting a little bit too much. I've been affected. If I were to say I aren't, I'm definitely lying. So please learn to know when to stop when you are going over it. Yeah, I'm a failure. I failed 3 subjects while those I passed, I merely passed. I lost the bet with that Calvin. Now, I owe him a dinner. Arghh, was that unlucky or am I not working hard enough? To be honest, I guess I wasn't working hard enough. Partly was that when I'm in the midst of the papers, I was so affected by him. I could not even concentrate on my studies at all. I shall not blame my emotions at this part of time. I'm just not doing hard enough.



We're still the same. :)


I've been out with marmie for a teeny weeny little while at AngMoKio and we saw KimNg. Her character is just the same as how she presented herself on TV. Cute ! :) We even took a photo! I've been seeing her in Bugis for tons of time but I never stopped and watched their filming. But still, she is as cute as the one I remembered her as. :)



Tadah ! She's cute!


My neck is breaking. My shoulders are aching. My head is heavy. I'm tired. I'm worried. I'm all that you can say. I was feeling so empty. I came home without a single soul at home. I wanted to feel like home but everyone was not at home. So, I just went to sleep and woke up to know that he house was still empty. Arghh, that was how bad I felt. Right at this time, please do not enrage me. I think I won't be that nice anymore. I might be a lot more worst than what I am used to be. Studies is important to me and I can fail so badly, with a D7, E8 and a F9. I just can't stand the way I failed. If I failed by just a mark or two, I weren't have felt so bad but I failed so badly. For those subjects that I passed, I didn't even pass with flying colours. I'm just that sad. Don't play with me, don't try me. I'm not nice at all.

8:43:00 PM

Thursday, May 17, 2007

Look like having marking day anot, it's still a teeny weeny bit of the same. It's just that I will be able to sleep till the cows come home. It's just that I'm able to put my hair down and let all burden down. It's just that I doesn't have to touch those pen, pencils & most importantly, books ! It's just that little. It doesn't really make a different though. I'm still yet to do my D&T portfolio and tomorrow is the deadline. How am I going to survive tonight just like the other nights ? Alright, this proved that life sucks. :)


Shopping spree later. Hmm, maybe I should put it in a correct way. WINDOW shopping later ! I'm broke. Yeah, Great Singapore Sale is coming and I'm broke. Hell, that's great. I'm so going to save money and not spend it on unnecessary stuffs. At this time, maybe I'm going to like rely on my brother for my lunches. xD !


lann later =D

12:23:00 PM

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

No pictures today either. I'm so tired. I think my sleep is more important than this blog. Perhaps, I had been neglecting my sleep more than my blog for these few days and I seriously could not take the pain away now. Calvin even went to hit the bruise that I had left for myself the other day due to some dumbness. So, I went rubbing my bruise all night long after he hit me. It hurts seriously. With the internal pain inside my head, it is making it worst. But still, I'm alright. :)


My last Mid-year examinations are officially over. I don't think I will do well in it. So, I'm going to mug hard even after this MYE. :) We went out after the papers to have Sakae Sushi. The sushi were great but not to the extent of being wonderful. No eye candies for us to see unlike the other branches. So yeah, nothing to elaborate in it. After that, we were walking aimlessly. Then, the guys decided to play some lan games and I joined them. Seriously, I couldn't figure out what is happening in the Dota but eventually, I understands everything. It seems like I'm not that dumb anyway. Dota is great. :) Counterstrike was great too. I managed to kill 28 people and defeat Rainer. I even killed the same number of people as DingFeng. :)


The lan games were great. We managed to pass our time there. And, I need to thank Nicholas & Eugene for teaching me to play Dota. :) I think I should turn in soon, if not I'm going to faint anytime tomorrow. Finally, I'm going to have long hours of sleep without any disturbance anymore. xD Loves ! I think life's great now.




晚安！

11:15:00 PM

I just realised that just another 75 entries and it will marks my 1500 entries for my whole damn life, be it a sad one or a happy one. Sometimes, it's hilarious to look back at the innocent me and a naive one. You can see how you slowly grow up and learn, through the hardship and obstacles. You understand how impermanent things will get. You will learn to treasure things more as you know that you will lose it one day. From friendship to relationship, from relationship to family matters, there were plenty of the problems that kept coming up. This meant that life is never a smooth one. I wondered how long will I continue to write this blog because I know, one day when I'm too busy with life, I won't have time to even on this computer and blog.


Why am I blogging at this hour ? Nobody know, neither do I know. I was quite worried for the paper tomorrow because I was expecting for an A1 for tomorrow papers and if I'm going to screw it up like all the others paper, I'm so going to be so utterly disappointed with myself. Chinese O's level is coming and I do not know how can I prepare for it. I had been failing my chinese ever since the term one starts and O's coming in just 2 weeks time. Hell, what am I supposed to do now.


I went for some blog hopping. I hope all of my friends are doing fine now. I'm going to call them out soon ! If not I won't even have time for them once the third week of June's start. I'm going to mug hard this time. There were so many things I wanted to do but I just couldn't find the extra little time that could squeeze out from these mugging days.


Alright, it's 3am now. I ought to go to bed now. Nights. :)


The innocent life has gone far away.

2:33:00 AM

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Yeah, the main papers are over. I was getting more and more disappointed with myself. I shall not enjoy myself during the June holidays anymore. After resting a day or two, I'll be studying again. I think MYE has an impact on my motivation. I'm so motivated to continue studying in order to achieve the result I want. I learnt to also not to drain myself too hard during exams period and maybe I should have study earlier. My papers were screwed due to the fatigue. I was too tired, too tired to continue doing. My brain wasn't even working. I screwed all the papers in this week. I have no confidence in myself anymore.


All the papers were screwed. I would have bury myself in the papers and die. Tomorrow is my last paper and the one that I'm most confident in. But however, I'm so demoralised that I don't feel like studying anymore. Shrugs. I don't know what to do now. Seriously, I'm so tired till I can fall asleep anytime when my head lies on a flat surface. I'm just that tired. Paper is ending at 10.30am tomorrow and then, I'll be out with friends. It's time for some rest for myself for a day or two. I'm dead beat. I didn't know that exams can be so draining till I might faint anytime. I had endured through it and I'm so proud of myself. Girls, let's go out soon ! :)


I dislike insensitive guys. It was so obvious that I wasn't feeling good about it. But still... sighs. My brother is alright again, they somehow got back but still, I could no longer understand if it's a good thing or a bad one. I don't know. Everything depends on my brother. It's his decision. I raised my concern and he understood every single bit of it. I just hope nothing bad will continue happening. I love the people around me, so don't let mishap happens to them, please.


I'm gonna go back to mug again. I haven't even started doing any revision for my D&T and I'm still sitting here writing blog ? Hell, that was bad. My big brother had went off with Alwin & Sister-in-law for a movie. Initially, they wanted to bring me along but I just joined them for dinner and I went off. Pathetic~ I think exams are pushing me into a life of black and white. Ever since then, I had been feeling so moody even up till today. I hope things will get better after exams. But hell, I think I'll get even more worse than what I'm feeling right now since we are going to retrieve our exams paper soon. Sighs. I think life sucks. Don't you think so ? It gets alittle better and then it get back to square one again. Just how many time am I going to feel this up and down in life ? Damn.


Seriously, I got the urge to just perm my hair up. Maybe I'll get a curling iron after exams and get my hair all permed up. I think straight hair are pretty common and I do have a long long hair, so why should I just waste it by just getting a boring straight hair right ? Curl hair rocks, and I really hope I do have a natural curl below :) I need tons of new clothes too. Great Singapore Sale is coming and I seriously can't wait for prices to be slashed at a extremely low price. I'm so gonna get so many things, the tops from Zara & Topshop. Maybe I'll get some bags, bottoms and make-ups too. :) Yeah, life rocks if everyday is a holiday - no stress, no work. :)



I'm the best damn thing !

-notimeforpictures. :)

9:07:00 PM

Monday, May 14, 2007

I think I might have to sacrifice another night tonight again. Arghh~ I had been sacificing my health for the sake of my studies. Hopefully, it will all pay off eventually. Scoring in my O's is still the main important thing that I wanted. :) After MYE, I'll have to concentrate on doing my notes for easy reference, if not, my notes are everywhere in the house. As you all know that my house has been quite messy, I had troubles trying to search for all of it. Thus, tons of things are to be done after MYE. I need to get another few more ring file holder to keep my notes nicely. :) I'm gonna clear up all the mess that I'm having now. =DD


I can't wait to finish exams. Sighs~

11:14:00 PM

Tired. Drained. Fatigue. I had killed almost all my braincells today. 4 hours of Amath papers aren't fun, it's tedious. Papers were difficult, I don't think I'll have that teeny weeny bit of chance of passing my Amath. Initially, I thought if only I could have like score B3 for Amath so as to improve on the previous result I had, but nah, impossible. Stop the theory of breaking up the word to "I M Possible" because I know it isn't at all. Maybe I should have start my revision earlier so I won't have any thoughts of giving up in the midst of the papers. I couldn't do the papers two at all. So, I kept skipping the question, hopping to come across a question that I know. But, I skipped till the last question and started hesitate. I didn't know any questions. So, I tried all ways to like just attempt a question. I thought I could do. In the end, I can't. Fine~ I really wanted to give up and just sleep all the way with the remaining time but still, I think maybe efforts could pay off if I try doing. But still, I can't. I was extremely demoralised but still I endure through the last minute. sighs... I hope teacher gives me the effort marks for trying hard to attempt the questions please.


Practical exams was crap. I didn't know what to do at first. My eyes started to roam around and I caught glimpse of people doing the experiment. I started doing what they were doing but I didn't know why they were doing with those damn thing, the ruler & the golden weight. Ended up, I realised that there were examples on how to set up the experiment in the papers at the later part. -.-" I think I'm dumb, never mind. I wanted to attempt on the Physic first and I did crap, I didn't even know how do I really find that distance at all. I used my memory on doing the D&T's structure to do that question. I didn't even study for Physic before the practical and I'm bound to fail this test badly.


Chemistry Practical exam was even more crap. I got the correct Solid A but I got the Acid X all wrong. Maybe I'll fail this Practical exam badly too. Sigh, I'm just not good at Practical. I thought the papers are ending at 3pm and I rushed through it and slept at 2.45pm since I had gave up on the paper. Yet, when I woke up at 3.15pm, papers weren't collected. Meaning, I had wasted half an hour sleeping, thinking that I'm left with that little time and rushed through the papers. Sighs..


I wanted to post some pictures but I'm not in the mood now. I didn't want to talk at all after the papers because I know I was utterly disappointed with myself. So, I'm sorry if I had ignored any one of you.


I'm just not in the mood now. I really neeeed to rant but I can't find anything for me to rant at all. I can't imagine what will I be feeling when the day I got back all my results. I'll be crying like hell please. I need to prepare packets of tissue papers now. I just want to do well but all the hurdle that I'm facing is so depressing. I really don't wish to get back my papers. I hope they are burnt ! Roars~


*Sighs*

7:39:00 PM

I had been sleeping so late lately. It's 3am and I'm still stucked here studying. Please pray that I'll be able to think properly for my papers tomorrow ! *Pray hard* I hope devas hear my prayers. :) Although I'm still not done with my studying, I've decided to give a stop now. Seriously, I'm dead tired and my eyes are half closed but still, I endure till now. Just 2 more chapters and I'm done with it but no matter how hard I tried to remember the concept, it just don't seem to go into my head, thus I'm giving it a stop.


Night !

When can I really have a week of a good night sleep. I miss my sleep. Oh man~

2:55:00 AM

Sunday, May 13, 2007

-Edit: I took the pictures down & edited the paragraph for sensitivity issues.

Annoucement: My brother Weiwee is single now. Application is available, you may call up me for interview. Guarantee for a great potential husband for tai-tai wannabe. I would have grab him if only he wasn't my brother though. xD Requirements needed: Pretty, cute & a good character. Most important, you have to love my brother wholeheartedly and no thoughts of leaving him is allowed. :) If not, you will get it from me. :) I'm nice alright !~ =D



Brother & his girlfriend broke up again. I couldn't do anything. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to console him. I just cried when he's not around. It's hurting me to know that he hurts so badly. He cried ! Yes, he cried. Damn. I think that guy should reflect upon his actions, couldn't he just keep his hands off others' girl? Itchy hand. You'll get your retribution one day. Better let all the girls be with you and you get dumped ! Then, let you experience what my brother had experienced now. Heartless freak ! You dump your girlfriend which lasted for 4 years whom earned money to get you go University. What the hell ! I think you deserved hell. Or maybe not, you deserved way worser. Get the freaking hell out of this earth man, you bastard ! *Roars* I can be nice but I can be as evil as I want when you hurt the people around me. DAMN YOU ~




Damn. I haven't start any revision yet. The day was screwed. Initially, I wanted to get a place in the library early in the morning, so I woke at 8.30am in the morning. Guess what, when I reached, the whole place was fully booked, not a single place was left for me. Sucks~ So, I went home feeling so blue. After my piano lesson, I went to sleep and woke up in an hour later. Mum wants us to go out and have dinner together right at that time. So, I woke up and being the blur one as usual, I wanted to get bathe but mum requested to go out right now. -.-" I was dressed in that manner and she wants me to go out that way ?!? So never mind, it's her day and I went with her will. In the end, we waited for 30 minutes for dad and I could have use the time to bath you know ! Arghh~ We wanted to have dinner at Hans and dad requested for something simple at Lavander. Yeah seriously, it's just simple. Nevermind, we shall bring him out for something nice on Father's day ! :) I love my family so much !


EXAMS BLUE !

9:18:00 PM

I want to get this ! Oh man, I hope the price dropped during the GSS and I'm so going to get it if I can. I'm so in love with the colour and the quality. :) Maybe if I can't get it, I'll get it after O's. :) I MISS WORKING ! =(


I MISS MY WORKING MATES. =((


Blog later after my Mother's day dine out. :)

2:38:00 PM

Saturday, May 12, 2007

LOVES ~


I don't really have much things to blog today. Books after books ! What's there for me to blog seriously. -.-" Except that I'm stucked in the Amath Topic : P&C which is seriously killing me. I sweared I never hate Amath ever since I passed it and now, I hate it again. Oh man~ Emath rocks big time but Amath still rocks big time if only they don't have Vectors, Kinematics, Relative Velocity & P&C !


This is the first time in the past few weeks & months that I managed to get 8 hours of sleep ! I was like counting and counting and I realised that I had slept for 8 hours ! This is something to rejoice you know. I have been mugging hard for the past few months and I think it's a reward for me to sleep 8 hours. Never mind, I'll have it soon after I finished my examinations. I want to go out ! :) FRIENDS, *hint hint* =D Make yourself free yeah! I'm going to have only a week to celebrate and rejoice before I get back to serious work again. Chinese O's is coming and I hope the papers will be BURNT and then they will give us an A1 since their computer had screwed up. Oh please ~ I hope it comes true. =X


Ahhh ! I miss all my friends so much. Life is great with great friends ! :D I love them so much please. :) But still, I'm still having my exams. -.-" Oh man~ Sighs~ The worst thing in life is to know that all your friends had finished their exams and you are stucked with yours ! Alright, not really that worse but well it still feels so crap to be still the one who are still having exams while others are ENJOYING ! I emphasised the word "ENJOYING". Look ! People are having their shoppings, their gaga over guys in the streets, nights out and stuffs and I'm here LOOKING at books ! -.-" Oh man ~ Crap~


Alright, let's count down. Exams are due on Wednesday ! Just 4 more days of continous mugging and mugging and I'll be free ! Then, I'll only be worried over my Chinese O's. Brother told me not to worry about MYE because O's are still the one that I should be worried in. Yet, I don't care, I still want to score for my MYE ! =D LOVES ! I think exams suck big time, don't you agree ?


Did you noticed that each post I'm posting at least a picture up? Not that I'm so free that I'm posting up every picture for a post, it's because I love my blog too much and I'm going to spend at least alittle time to make it alittle much wonderful so that I will look back when the future comes. For now, I've been wondering why did I type that cheena words when I was in Secondary 1 and it is making me so reluntant to read it. I hate reading those WoRdZ lIkE ThIs ! Ahhh, I felt so cheena now ! Oh ya ! ZhengLin got me a Panda from China ! Cheena boy ! Wahaha ~ Thanks CHEENA BOY xD !


Back to library tomorrow ! :) LOVES ~ Life's great ! I'm going to get havoc once EXAMS END ! I felt like heaven whenever the thought of ending this MYE comes ! =D But some sad thing to say is that my life isn't perfect because some part of me still felt so empty. I'm fine. :) Maybe because when you put some thing as part of your life, when you lost the feeling that you once had, it felt all so empty. It felt like a stranger, a strange place that I had been. I'm trying to look into the root of the problem but I see none. I don't know where does the problem lie on.


I want to change my blog song again ! I'm no longer that Emo-listic anymore ! I'm a happy happy wanling again. :) Love me for who I am. I have serious moodswing. I will bite at one moment and in the other, I'll smile innocently. :D


Aha! You know what, I was thinking that if both of my brothers had finally settled down and moved out of this house, I'm so going to paint this room PINK ! =D Or maybe not, It will looked as if I'm a just a typical pink craze, I'm not ! I'm unique alright ! xD Should I paint it RED !~ Bright RED ! xD But later on, it will look so bloodly. -.-" Or maybe I should paint this room BLACK ! Yet when I think about the time when it's night, the whole room just felt so black. -.-" Ahhh ! I DON'T KNOW ! Wait till they move out then I'll decide about it. XD !


I'm starting to hate D&T because I'm having muscles on my arms. =( It looks damn ugly please ! DAMN IT ! I want to finish it as soon as possible ! I haven't even start my Portfolio and the marking day is 18th ! I'm dead. I hope I don't fail my PAPERS please !


I LOVE LIFE. :)

10:24:00 PM

He is not affecting me anymore. I don't know why but all the things he said that was meant to hurt me had no longer been hurting. Perhaps, this is what we called numb. =D Or should I not put it as numb? I just know it is not as affecting as the other time that it got me being distracted from my studies. =D It's great to put him back to the friend list. However, to be honest, it is still hurting but not to the extent that I'll get so upset till I don't want to do anything anymore. He had hurt me enough. The pain is unbearable and I'm going to get this feeling out of me. :)


Life's been great now. Now I know the reason why I've been feeling so low the other days, it's all because of those killer Mid-year Examinations. And now, I'm felt like I've been back to who I am again. No longer that emo but still a slightly bit of sadness inside me. I shall not say why. It will be inside me. :)


Anyway, I'm so so so happy now. I got so high up till I went gaga over my monitor. Sister-in-law asked if I'm alright because it seemed like I haven't been laughing for quite some time. =X See what I mean? It's all because of the stress I've been. And right now, I'm feeling so relaxed which is not the right time to do so! My exams are still on. Damn it! All the other school has ended theirs and I still have 3 more to go ? What the hell ~ People are enjoying and I'm still suffering. Once MYE had ended, it marks the quick arrival of O's. Oh my ~ Time flies ~


I'm so fearing of failing for this MYE. Although it is just MYE but still, it's still so important to me. This MYE is going to tell me that whether I still working as hard as Term 1. So, if I'm so going to do so badly for this, I'm going to bang myself onto the wall and die. =X Alright, nonsense.


I think I'm dumb. Right at this time, I can have an early night and yet, I wasted my time on this computer writing this senseless blog. I'm just so bored please. Randall chatted with me just now and we seriously miss the time when we kept hanging out together, bring boyboy all over the place. But now, both of us are so busy. =(


My brother & his girlfriend is alright now. So, being the good little sister of his, I chatted with Jiawen in the evening and I asked a number of questions. Maybe, this had got her thinking why did she give up a 3 years relationship for a guy who only know her for a month. =D I'm happy that my brother is happy again. :) LOVES ! Right now, I'm not feeling that bad anymore and I'm on cloud nine.


There's a baby cockroach inside my room. Can someone get it out ? I almost screamed when I saw it. -.-" Damn ! I think I look retarded to be screaming at this hour, 2AM. Did I mentioned that I've a phobia of cockroach since the time when I was very young. A huge cockroach landed on my skirt and I got damn scare because the cockroach was like walking up to my head from my stomach area. And remember, I was so small and young and that cockroach was a huge one. I emphasised that it's a HUGE one, seriously. So, I hate cockroach from that moment onwards. And often, my mum will catch some cockroach by holding it's feeler. -.-" Yucks ~ I hope the whole wide world of cockroach will extinct ! Please do not give birth anymore. =D Please reborn in a better realm rather than being a cockroach that scare the hell out of people. :)


Things have never been working out back there. Everything are changing, people are changing. If only things don't change, people doesn't change, I might have stay. People now go by judging whether you are close with them anot, which doesn't seem to be quite right in my eyes. Maybe there will be a better place for me to grow and learn, I'll move on. Why did things change till this way? Disappointment seriously had been overwhelming from the start. Now, I know people are biased. Isn't biasness shouldn't be involve in this area but how did it happened ? I don't know, I don't want to care anymore. Sick and tired of all those stuffs, I'll learn and be a better person elsewhere. I lost my faith. Tell me, how do commitment involve when things are extremely not going right at all. I lost the warmth, I lost the care, I lost my home. It had all perished.



She's fallen behind.
She's all over the place.
Bits and pieces make up her.
But still, it will never be glued back.
Just as how you broke the glass of water.
You will never get back the previous one.
No matter how hard you were trying to mend the pieces.
It was just a futile attempt.

1:25:00 AM

I scanned through my album and I saw this photo! My brother said that boyboy looked as if he had done something wrong. Then, there's still pee behind. It looked as if he had like done something wrong. That's what my brother said, "不要打我。我不知道你还没有读完这报子嘛！我要哭了！"


*LAUGHS*
BoyBoy is cute, isn't it ? I love him to bits ! I love this expression so much please. XD !



BOYBOY IS SO LOVED BY ME !

12:55:00 AM

Friday, May 11, 2007

I'm not in the mood to do anything. I smsed my brother to ask about him. He told me that it's gone. I cried. Yes, I cried in the basketball court. -.-" I know it's dumb to cry there but I just can't control the tears. It just came down. I know how he feel and I really hope I could have like help a little bit. I don't know why, but I kept having that feeling inside me that I'm blaming myself for it. Firstly, if only I had been meeting her up every now and then when my brother was not around, things might be different. She won't have a chance to meet the guy too.


*Sighs*


The papers killed me today. I couldn't finish. I don't know how to do. I'm dead, extremely dead. I'm bound to score F9 for Humanities now. No more high hopes on getting a pass for my Humanities anymore. Initially, I thought my Geography is still not too bad, at least I'll be able to pull up the Social Studies' mark. However, I think it doesn't really seem the case anymore. Oh ya, I had only 2 hours of sleep. I woke up with a slight headache and then when I was in basketball that time, I got hit by the soccer ball right on my head. How lucky can I go ?


We had some news passing around saying that my class had failed our English Paper 2. *Sighs* My chinese teacher had said that a few of us had failed our Chinese papers too. Fine fine fine, I think I'm getting sick of all these failing. Please do not let it be me who had failed the test. Or rather, I hope teacher had seen wrongly and calculated the marks wrongly, thus everyone are supposed to pass but failed because of it. :)


I did some short shopping the other day. I miss dressing up. =( I need to get some make up soon. I need to get the Topshop's top soon. I want this, I want that. Desiring for all the things I wished to be appear right in my wardrobe now. But, FAT HOPE. :(

5:33:00 PM

LOVEYOURSELF :)
That damn pimple right on the tip of my nose. -.-"


I have been taking Caffeine for the past few days to keep my nights going. Maybe it helps a little but when the morning comes, I'm dead beat. Screwed the papers, why couldn't we have a few days for the papers instead of having all at one go. It's draining seriously. I'm not going to sleep tonight since I'm damn sure that I won't be able to finish the syllabus within an hour. I rather sleep tomorrow since my papers are ending at 9.30am. :)


My brother & sister-in-law had been complaining that I've been disturbing their sleep because I'm studying in the room. Firstly, we shared the room. =( Maybe I should find alternative to get out of the house to study late at night ? Maybe ? I don't know. But seriously, where can I go to study ?


I'm going to mug really hard for this upcoming weekends. I'll be studying after I finished resting tomorrow. Perhaps, I'll be studying for my Amath. Then, my Saturday will be spending on my Physic revision. Sunday will be spent doing my Amath revision again. Although Emath Paper 2 is coming on Tuesday, maybe last minute revision might help since I've been studying most of the time before my Paper 1. I hope the stuffs I've been studying weren't go away so easily. :)


Nights people. I'm going to study again. Straight A's !! It feels really great when you are confident that you will be able to do well for the papers. :) Efforts pay off. Maybe I shouldn't put it this way first, I need to get my papers back before I really be sure that I had done well for it. =D


It's Geography paper. =( My humanities are the worst subjects that I had ever had. Buddha bless me please. :)

1:04:00 AM

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Initially, I wanted to post up some photos but well, I don't think it's a good idea since I'm going to spend the time studying for my Geography. I think my humanities papers are bound to flunk. Firstly, I went to the airport till this time. I cried because of my brother, but never mind. I know he's been feeling low and I really hope she could take away his pain. My brother loves her and this, we all know. Please do not leave him for other guys, please. *Sighs*


I wished I could have help him in some ways. Many things had happened to him in Australia and now, he's safe with us now. Please do not let anything harm him again. Although I had been complaining that I hate him but seriously, I loved him a lot and please do not let anything make him sad.


I don't hate you but please do not let my brother suffer like this.
I really want to cry. Forget it.

9:10:00 PM

There were a number of stuffs happening to my dearest brother. Please allow him to be back safe and sound. Everything is gone is alright but him, please allow him to be back. What is happening to my family? Few days back, my dad had an accident. Then came the news about my brother who is in Australia now. It got me worried and I couldn't really study because of it. He must have felt like shit now. He's coming back today and I'm going over to Airport to meet him despite the Geography papers tomorrow. Academic are important so do my brother right? Maybe I just have to like burn mid-night oil to study. Never mind, it is going to be alright since it's already Friday tomorrow !


I haven't been onlining for the past few days. Partly is because I want to concentrate and another part is that I've got no time to online at all. Papers are going to come to an end soon. Then, I'll mug hard for my Chinese 'O' level. From now onwards till the day I finished my 'O' level, I won't be onlining. Maybe I'll online during the breaks when I'm studying?


I was not very well these few days. But still, I'm going to endure through it. Just a few more days and I'm going to be having back my freedom again.


Ciaos ~ I need to go airport now. :)

4:55:00 PM

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

A lot of things are happening and it's seriously affecting me. Well, I don't know how do I really describe what happened. I just know it happened. I just hope someone could really understand how I'm feeling but seriously, no one do.


I think I'm hurt.

5:48:00 PM

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

I think I ought to blog something despite the many many chapters of Social Studies that I've to study hard. I haven't even finish studying for my Emath, I think I sucks big time. I was trying to do the questions that Calvin gave and I got stucked in each and every of the questions. How terrible can that be, was I a loser or was the question too hard? I think it's the formal one. I was demoralised, yes very demoralised. I wanted to study till late night tonight but I think it will be better for me to sleep early so as to have a clear mind to think for tomorrow.


Tight schedule are killing us. The 'O' level schedule is out. I think I ought to like get everything done by this June holiday. I won't be spending too much time on unneccessary stuffs already. Perhaps, I might be away from everything. Don't spot me in MSN anymore. My future lies in this year, I'm not going to ruin it just by my laziness. I know I'm lazy but well, I'm trying to do something about it alright ! Motivate me please ! :)


I'm going back to my books again. Hey, I wondered why doesn't singapore just stop producing history so that we don't have to study so much. Oh please, if only this comes true. I read a forum that parents were unhappy that the children these days are taking up chinese for PSLE. But hey, didn't this trend had been going on for like years ? Why can't parents just shut up and stop depriving others who can benefit from the Chinese result for PSLE ? I know that these days, people had been speaking english and minority is still speaking chinese. Frankly speaking, aren't us a chinese ? People these days are weird, seriously weird.


k BYE!

9:53:00 PM

Monday, May 07, 2007

I have been rather irritated these few days. Well, whatever. BOO~!! I'm going to allow myself to have some survey before I go back to my books. =( BOOKS ! IHATEYOU! =(


SURVEY!

1. What do you say most when you're trying not to curse?
CRY ! Yes, I cry. Who doesn't eh ?

2. Do You Own An Ipod?
Just had one. Not the big and bulky one but the small and pinkish nano. :)

3. What Person On Your Top friends Do You Talk To The Most?
Rainer? Anyone?

4. What Time Is Your Alarm Clock Set To?
6.30am. Oh buddha, please allow me to sleep more. =D

5. Do You Want To Fall In Love?
Sure. After O's or something?
Love is hurting. Better leave it after O's.

6. Do You Wear Flip-Flops When It's Cold?
Ehh? When it's cold ? Singapore doesn't go snowing, do it?

7. Would You Rather Take The Picture Or Be In The Picture?
BOTH !

8. Have you been hurt by someone ?
Yes, a deep one. No comments.

9. Do Any Of Your Friends Have Children?
Ehh, don't think it's kind of needed to be told in a survey?

10. Has Anyone Ever Called You Lazy?
Yeah ! I'm a big time Lazy girl.

11. Do You Ever Take Medication To sleep?
Oh my, No please. I'm healthy. :)

12. What Cd Is Currently In Your Cd Player?
Eh? Nothing I think ?

13. Do You Prefer Regular Or Chocolate Milk?
Hmmm, maybe Milo? Do milo included ?

14. Has Anyone Told You A Secret This Week?
Eh, yeah. But well, shhhhh.

15. When Was The Last Time You Had Starbucks?
Few weeks ago?
Oh my, I miss the taste of the Chocolate Fappicinno.
Anyone wants to treat me?

16. Can You Whistle?
Ehh, hell no. -.-"
Can someone just be nice and teach me?

17. Do You Have A Trampoline In YourBack Yard?
What's Trampoline. Pardon my lousy english.

18. Do You Think People Talk about you behind your back?
I think so. People hates me. =(

19. Did You Watch Cartoons As A Child?
As a child ? Hey, loser question. Who doesn't watch huh !
I still remember those Doraemon, Teletubies.....

20. What Movie Do You Know Every Line To?
I don't go remembering the line though.

22. Is There Anything Wrong With Girls Kissing Girls?
Hmmm, maybe not.
But still, I don't think I'll go kiss a girl unless for some Cam-whore stuffs.

23. Do You Own Any Band T-Shirts?
No. I don't love any band though. :)

24. Is anyone in love with you?
Nah. People hates me. :)
Guys hate me too. Forget it :)

25. Do You Do Your Own Dishes?
Yeah. You want to taste it ?

26. Ever Cry In Public?
Hmm ya, I think I looked terrible.

27. Are You Currently Wanting Any Piercings Or Tattoo?
Not in my mind at all. Tattoo is definitely a nono.

28. Would You Ever Date Anyone Covered In Tattoos?
Don't think I could really accept it? Perhaps a small one or something?

29. What Did You Do Before This?
Nothing.

30. When was the last time u slept on the floor?
During the retreat in Alokarama?

31. How Many Hours Of Sleep Do You Need To Function?
Tons of it. As many hours as I could and I'll be well & happy again!

32. What are you doing right now?
What do you think? Aren't I typing this ? -.-"

33. Are You Picky About Spelling And Grammar?
Extremely. I will just try to do things correctly,
but well, mistakes are inevitable.

34. Have You Ever Got Beaten up?
Ehh? How about pillow fight ? =X

35. Do You Get Along Better With The Same Sex Or The Opposite?
Both ? But I get along better with the opposite one I think?
Girls can get too troublesome sometimes.
But now, my girlfriends are great. :)

36. Do you like mustard?
Maybe not sometime ?

37. Do You Sleep On Your Side,Stomach, Or Back?
I sleep on my side. :)

38. Do You Watch The news?
I haven't been watching TV since ages ago?

39. How Did You Get three Of Your Scars?
- One of them was the time when I was extremely young & small,
a heavy metal can dropped onto my head
- Another one was the time when I played with my brother and I banged
onto the wall. -.-" Yes dumb. -.-"
- I don't have anymore I think?

40. Who Was The Last Person To Make You Mad?
Mum I think ? =X

41. Do you like anyone?
Perhaps not. Perhaps yes.
I don't know. :) Maybe not.


Alright, back to my books. CIAOS !

9:01:00 PM

I slept at 3am last night. I woke up in the morning with a bad headache and I didn't want to go school but I still went. I wanted to pay attention in class but I slept during the Math lesson. Seriously, I'm getting tired of the lessons. It's like, we are students that make mistakes, we are not perfect. We tend to forget some stuffs when it was taught, that's why we need a teacher. A teacher who can guide us along when we are in doubt. A teacher who can guide us through the obstacle. But why, why does teacher get so furious when we wanted them to explain it again ? Shouldn't they be patient with us ? We are trying but why do teachers kept complaining that we didn't try hard enough. Maybe, in the eyes of you, we aren't trying hard. But the fact is that, we did. Believe it anot. We just really need someone who weren't rant and curse when we asked for the second explanation again. That is easy, isn't it ?



After school, I went out with Eugene & Zhiqiang to get their bag. The sale person was like so shocked when I asked him to lower the price. LOLS ! What did I do ? Weird people ~ =X Then, met up with Junhao for a uber teeny weeny while and he went off with his friends while I went home. :)



I need to do some studying after I had my rest. :)
Night ! Maybe I'll be back to blog again, maybe I don't. :)



The teeny weeny bit of pain is still haunting me.
Part of me wants to forget you.
Another part of me miss you.
Mixed feeling was still there.


It pains me to see you giving cold shoulder.

6:46:00 PM

Sunday, May 06, 2007

Mad-ness. The moment when I thought about the cockroaches' fever last night, I grinned. It was stupid to be grinning at nothing when I'm halfway through my work. -.-" Poor cockroaches, they were once so lovely dovely in the kitchen and I always hate to see them. But now, they won't be able to be lovely dovely since they will meet other guy/girl outside. xD


And, I kept having this tingling bit of mixed feeling which doesn't seem to go away.


I met up with PINGGS today !! Alright, just that teeny weeny short while but it's still great to see her. =D MISSES ! We shall go out after my MYE alright. =DDDD LOVES ! Last long long with Francis and you're still mine. =X Don't care ~!


I did some Math revision already. :) I hope it goes in my mind ! I was trying very hard to study, yes very hard. Efforts do pay off though, I managed to understand the one that I hasn't been understanding for awhile. But still, there's still loads of chapters to cover.


I was trying to search for my new pair of shoes. It was a futile search. Yet, I managed to dig out my notes and stuffs that were gone like ages ago ? I was searching high and low when I needed badly, it just didn't come out. Right now, it just appeared just like that. -.-" I even went to the extent of photocopying the whole book and bind it into one. It cost me more than the price I paid to get that book. I wanted to get that book but it was already extinct. I couldn't find it anywhere, not even the second-hand shop. In the end, I had to make the effort to go and get it photocopied. The papers weren't even one month old and I found my book back. -.-"


I was looking through the sheets of papers and I saw the Social Studies worksheet, " Singapore's Industrial Development ". I thought it was the same as the " Sustaining Singapore's Development " since I don't remember that I had any notes on Singapore's Industrial Development. Being the dumb wanling, I went to study Sustaining Singapore's Development which is useless and it's not coming out in the Mid-year. What the heaven. -.-" Moral of the story is, do not be blur or you will make a futile attempt for your studies which is proved dumb. -.-"



MUGGER WEEK !


I'm going to mug hard.
I'm going to score all A's.
I'm suffering from Monday blues.

10:13:00 PM

Hey, I think I regretted saying that " Please stay away from me and not hurt me anymore. " It is more hurting to stay away. Friends? That's right. :) I'm not going to fall in love anymore. Love was never meant to be mine. I will not love anyone till I'm alittle bit older ? Don't want to get stumbled over here and there again. If you love me, pampered me. If you don't, then it's alright. LOLS ! Mixed feeling. Rahhh, forget it. I'm off to the library.


Sophisticated life.

1:38:00 PM

Mum was doing some wardrobe cleaning and she found loads of new clothes. It's not her in fact. It's mine ! I had been wondering why a few of my tops had been going missing. I almost forgot that I had bought one of the top and it's totally out of my mind. When mum asked if it was mine, I told her it wasn't. Then I started to try on it and I found out, yeah that's mine. -.-" So hell yeah, I've a few pieces of new tops again. LOVES ! But I still want to do some shopping, anyone? I'm going to book all my friends for the shopping trip. I'm going to use afew days to get myself havoc before getting back to the books again.



混乱的心灵, 谁会明白?
累了，痛了。

11:05:00 AM

Something that really makes me laugh in the midst of all the pains.


Chufeng: 我穿这样帅吗？

Me: 帅啊！

Chufeng: 很有气质对吧！

Me: 对啊！超有啊！

Chufeng: 可是我站在你旁边就什么气质都没有了。

Me: 为什么！？

Liwei: 因为他站在你旁边像 Kindergarden 老师。

Me: 哦!

Me thinking deeply.

Me: 喂! ~ 才不是呢!

Chufeng laughed.


Tell me how do I not control my laughter. xD They are so cute please ! And hey, I'm not a kid alright ! I'm 16 years old girl alright ! xP !




I'm going to have my piano lesson at 11am.
Aftermath, I will have to go over to the library to mug hard.
STUDY HARD ! :)


I miss you. :)
Was I fooling myself that I'll forget everything ?



A tinge of unmitigrated emptiness filled.

10:40:00 AM

Saturday, May 05, 2007

I went back to SBM today. Nothing much happened. I was studying with Eugene in the second floor and they thought we had gone home. We were rather engrossed with our studying till we forgot the time. So in the end he went home first and I went downstair to join the others. There were two cockroaches in the kitchen and Ryan went screaming all the way. Gay ! xD ! It was uber hilarious when we were laughing at his actions. There was a part that the guys went to sweep the cockroach all the way till it came near me. So, I screamed and pulled I-don't-know-who and ran upstair. xD


Aftermath, Liwei, Chufeng, Ernest, VictorTeo, Jianyong & I went to the Potong Pasir MacDonald. On the way there, the dumb Liwei & Chufeng was bullying me. Dumb ! Chufeng is working in a perfume shop and he smell just like a perfume. He has that strong scent which most people will repel to him. xP ! You know why, it's because he was working in a perfume shop and so, all kinds of perfume had been sprayed on him. When all different kinds of aroma comes together, they get weird. =X ! Chufeng was doing his beatboxing and he has improved alot. Oh, I'm going to miss his beatbox when he go NS. As for Liwei, I'm going to miss him bullying me. LOLS ! And, he's working in Parkway Parade now ! Time for some disturbing and I shall irritate his manager to get him fired. =DD


Afew people commented that I'm growing fat. Oh man, I think I need to go on a diet and some exercising right after my examinations. I WANT TO SLIM DOWN ! I NEED TO SLIM DOWN ! Mum kept wanting me to grow fat because I was too thin the other time but isn't that too extreme now? I'm so fat now. Roars ! She kept telling me that growing fat is a good sign and I can grow taller that way. Hell, what was that dumb theory. -.-" And now, I'm so fat now. I need to exercise. Anyone has any good dance course to introduce me ?!? I want to go dancing. I miss dancing. I miss sweat it all out. =D Dance rocks my life seriously.


Oh yeah, I had tried to use some cucumbers to cure my puffy eyes and dark circles recently. I hope it helps. If it helps, I'll tell you alright. =D I think sleeping is so important, if you do not have enough sleep, you'll fall sick, or having a break out, faint or ugly eyes bags. How terrible can that be. It wasn't my fault not to have enough sleep, blame it on all the works left undone. So why am I being the one who is being punished to suffer this way. Terrible, horrible.



I think my face has been out of this blog for quite some time. =D Miss me !







Something random - I wore "Explain to me again. Why do I need a boyfriend ? " Everyone went "what!?!?" Hilarious. Eugene was saying that I'm just those girl who relys greatly on guys. No way man. I'm all by myself. :) I'm not that weak! =D



I'm not just one of those girl.
It was all a mistake.
My tragedy, my life.
Go away~

11:46:00 PM

You know what, I don't know what to do today. I was doing nothing the moment I woke up. I wanted to study but it just seem to be a rather tough thing. I wanted to pack my stuffs but when I looked at it, I was rather pissed. I wanted to play the piano but I don't know what song can I play. I wanted to do some chatting with friends but I don't know who can I click on. I wanted to like just go out and walk about but I don't know where can I go. I wanted to stay at home yet it seems so empty. I wanted to cry but it seems like the tears were dry. I wanted to do loads of things but I just can't. I just feel like I wasn't me anymore...



Can I please do something and not waste the time away ? I must study hard ! Maybe I'll do my Science and Math today ! I shall leave my Amath to the last minute since the test is on next monday. I'm so afraid that I won't be able to make it for my Mid-year though. *Pray hard* May buddha bless me ! :)



Devas please bless me. =D


Buddha please bless me.
Dharma please bless me.
Sangha please bless me.

May the thriple gems bless me.
May I be well and happy =DD

12:53:00 PM

I found a way to cheer myself up - ICECREAMS, CHOCOLATES ! Ahhh, why did I forget about them in the midst of all these shits ? Oh man, I'm going to stuff myself with all the junk foods soon. But, I don't want to get fat. Any way to not get fat and yet to be able to be happy again ? Stress is the main problem i'm facing now and I really need tons of chocolates to keep me happy. xD !


And I had written on my hand to remind me to be happy.


wanlingx
smile!
=)


Spidey 3 is cute. :)


Weiming was weird today. He striked a conversation with me. Didn't he who was the one who left me in a lurch when I was about to be dumped ? He did nothing as a friend. He just threw me aside and even scolded me for making a big fuss over it. Hey, isn't it my relationship ? What's gone will not be back. So it's obvious that I'm worried over the relationship ! Forget it, I forgive him. xD


Oh yeah, I saw MingFei today ! :) He's still the same or did he grew taller or something ? =DDD


I'm fat I'm fat I'm fat ! Anyone wants to go on a diet with me ? Ahhh! :) I'm falling sick. I don't want to get any more MC please. Please let me get well by tomorrow. :) I need loads of sleep and I'll try to sleep as much as I can tomorrow. =DDD Hey, I think I'm weird. A moment ago, I was still cursing and swearing about my own life and now I'm alright again. LOLS !



I think I'm a weirdo. Isn't it? It's been awhile I had been acting oddly. So, give me some time to act alittle bit odd and I'll be fine. Aha ! I want to go shopping !!! I want to meet up with my Brother's girlfriend. Oh man ! I miss her loads. Anyway, I'm going to study hard when I wake up tomorrow. LOVES ! :)



Life is complicated, isn't it ?

2:12:00 AM

Sometimes, what I need was just a listening ear. Not comments, not anything. But how come, I don't seem to really have one. It's like it's so hard to control. I just break down any time I like. It's like I just have a serious moodswing all these while. It felt shit, seriously. I really don't know how do I describe this feeling but it do feel extremely suck. Perhaps, it's true that nobody understands me except myself. Never mind, I think all the problems lie on me. I suck. :)


I'm starting to hate myself. :) It's just my life. The way I want it to be, the way I make it to be. Life is full of choices but I chose to stay unhappy. I tried to be happy but I just failed. And, I failed badly. :)




It's going to be a boring Saturday tomorrow. *Sighs*

12:37:00 AM

Friday, May 04, 2007

Oh ya, I screwed my Chinese paper.
Don't talk about it anymore.

I screwed all my papers already.
I'm dead disappointed.
I suck.

8:02:00 PM

Whenever I played the 200 pounds' song, I'll get all emo. Perhaps, I should like change this song so I won't let the sensitivity overwhelm me. I don't really have much things in mind to blog about, but still, I want to say....


HAPPY BIRTHDAY DUMB ZHIQIANG ! =DD
STOP MASS TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT MY BLOG ! =X


I was so pissed off today. Partly is that I was so tired till I almost go crazy. I haven't been sleeping well these few days and I think I'm like dying soon ? I don't know. I just felt it that way. I really want to sleep sometime but there were so many things for me to do ! In the end, I gave up trying to get some sleep and went to finish up all the stuffs. Then, we had Geography Remedials after the Chinese paper. I was already so drained, tired and sleepy, yet I still have to go and face the music. You know I don't like her lesson, she had written "Rubbish" in my Social Studies assignment. It's not alright at all ! It's enough for me to go hoo-haa over it ! It's like, I spend time trying to do it and you just write rubbish there because that I didn't leave a line to show it as a paragraph? What the hell? Doesn't all students make mistake? I'm not perfect and why can't she just be nice alittle. Just for this moment when I'm so stressed out ? Why can't she just at least showed that I had made some effort, but nah, she didn't. *Roars* Forget it.


I think I'm having a serious moodswing these few days. Please don't come near me, I'll bite. Maybe people should like just shun away from me because right now, I really don't know who I am. I don't understand myself anymore, not anymore. I love myself no more and I don't love anyone anymore. Suddenly, life seems to be so grey or was I just feeling blue? I don't know. I really don't know what I'm feeling now neither do I know what had actually happened to me. Many had questioned me, but I don't know how to answer because I seriously don't know.


Perhaps, let's shall just take it that it's just partly due to the examinations stress.


Yeah! Mid-night movie later ! LOVES ! :) Spiderman, go bang the wall. =D


But first thing first, I want to study. Well, where can I start from? -.-"



Stress ! My brother helped to massage me yesterday and I went screaming all the way. I almost got killed by him. He claimed that I'm stress ! Forget it, I think I'm stress. Yet, I don't think I'm stress either. Ironic. Why do life have to be so stressful ? Rahhh~

6:27:00 PM

Thursday, May 03, 2007

I'm happy! :)


I want to study ! But how do I study for my chinese ? I have never been studying for my chinese all these years and it's the first time that I studied for chinese you know ! Ahhhh !


And, I found that people are so weird. One moment they treated you like they are you close friend and another moment, they are perished from the world. Liked, they were just finding you so irritating or something. What did I really do wrong? I only know I'm so full of nonsense that perhaps had pissed somebody off. But, it's not to the limit of losing friendship right. I felt like I'm such a loser please. Ahhh~ Forget it.


I just want to lead a happpppy life. :)


SMILE LING !

9:29:00 PM

____________________________



Siah Hwan Ling
Formerly known as Siah Wan Ling
Sweet 18
13th April 91
Friendster

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Cravings;

Great boyfriend
Driving License
Diploma in Piano
Iphone 3GS 16GB
Blingbling Iphone Cover
Philip Epilator 3 different caps Cotton On Flowery Dress
Cotton On White Tanktop
Cotton On Blue Stripe Dress
Cotton On Highwaist skirt
Nerdy len-less spectacle
Diana Lomo Special Edition Pink Camera
A weight of 40kg
Zara White/Black Spaggetti
Join a Dance course
减肥减肥!!
FBT orange/Silver/Pink shorts
SugarLink Dress
Nintendo DS Lite Red
Rebonding



Plans;

New Blogskin
Paint my room
Pack my room
Pack my wardrobe
Get a wardrobe


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;AhMeiJie ;AmandaSim ;AmandaGoh
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;Caiwei
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;Cherie ;CherieSiah ;CherieTan ;Cherrian
;CherylJie ;Cherise
;ChuFeng ;Clorine
;Deidrrea ;DianaTjoa ;DianaSiah
;Dion ;Dolly
;Eddie ;EngHuakor
;Elaine
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;FeliciaKang
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;Huiqing ;Huiwen ;Huixuan
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;Jen
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;JuntingKor ;Junjie
;Junpei
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;Leonora
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;Loves
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;Pearson ;Peiyi ;Priscilla ;Pris ;Raymond
;Reuben ;Sarene ;Sariputta
;Selina ;Sharol ;Sharon
;Sherman
;Shervonne ;Shixiong ;Soukuin
;Stefani ;Tina ;Ting ;Tingting
;Tohwee ;Victor ;Vincent ;Vivien
;Wanlin ;Wanling ;Weijing ;Weimin
;Weiping
;WeitingJie ;Wencai ;Wenting
;Wesley ;Xianwee ;Xiangyu
;Xiaohui ;Xinyi ;Xiumei
;Yichin ;Yiting ;Yilin ;Yinghui
;Yingting
;Yuankiat ;Yuanyi ;Zannalim
;Zeyan ;Zhenfeng


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