Sunday, February 28, 2010
Been so freaking tired. I'm really so tired.
Quarrelled with boyf over trivial matter.
Sian.
Now gotta wake him up at 6am.
It's only 5.19am right now.
He's making me worried man.
Play mj play till 3am.
I was just patiently waiting for him to finish.
Cause he has his stupid duty tomorrow.
Also don't know what time he waking up.
So wait loh, just wait only.
Wait until 3 plus am.
Talk to him also ai mai ai mai.
Suan liao. Ask him things, he avoid my question.
Totally like something fishy. Suan liao.
Now i'm still waiting for that damn 6am to wake him up.
And I dumb or what, do so much for him,
he also don't appreciate much.
Tmd.
Sighed. Hate to be scolded by him.
Like he's my father or what lah. -.-"
Always criticise me. Sighed.
My stomach is damn painful right now.
Just got beat by him yesterday.
Was an accident beat onto me.
Cause boyboy was on my stomach,
and he was naughty and B wanted to beat him.
And boyboy siam, and the hand landed on my stomach.
Super painful. sighed.
My head is spinning right now.
Sighed. Time pass faster please.
Bye.
5:16:00 AM
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
But here I am, so distracted again.
Currently, shopping online again.
Sian.
I kinda want to revanish my whole room again.
Like really make it damn chio type.
Wanna paste wall sticker and put up lighting.
Wanna throw away the wardrobe and nonsense stuffs.
Just want to make my whole room look big.
Should I?
I'm so distracted like seriously.
Baby came today, we wrestle. HAHA!
He kept tickling me, and only way to defend is to pinch him.
MUAHAHAHA! And the moment I pinch his arm pit,
he said is damn painful. Muahahaha!
Found my strategy to defend.
Oh ya, something amusing. Ha.
I paint his toe nail. =X
We did it on a deal.
But only one toe nail is allowed.
So yeah, he said transparent mah.
I painted glitter on it too. HAHAHA!
It looked damn chio now.
Alright, enough of saying.
I'm going back to study.
HOPEFULLY I study!
Really.
Bye bye.
12:31:00 AM
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
With my Poly Friends to Bai Nian.
Yes Jessica just bought her polaroid.
It's like the first photo she had taken !
We were dumb dumb trying to figure out the camera.
Polaroid is so fun. I have fun but I felt that the film is so expensive. =(
I'm the gang master. HAHAHAHA!
ANyhow!
With my girls. =)
Yes yes. At Genevive's place.
HAHA. Okay my husband. HAHA
I love the piano there. =D
I'm not the shortest. HAHAHA.
BECAUSE I WORE HEELS.
Muahahaha. Shall wear more often.
I want a Lomo Camera.
Or maybe the Mini Polaroid?
But it's so damn expensive to buy one.
Plus the firm is like chop people. Roar.
Oh yeah, SA is down.
i'm left with FIM on Thursday.
Sighed. Really no mood to study sia.
SA is alright, luckily I memorised the correct stuffs.
But I got loads of careless mistakes. Sighed.
Baby been so tired today.
He's like superman today. LOL.
Done everything and running around.
And he slept so early. =(
Tomorrow he's coming to my place,
taking my bed as the hotel bed. =(
And I'm being treated as maid.
Accompany him to eat, and he goes to sleep.
Idioooooooooot right. LOLOL!
But it's alright lah, since he's so tired.
And he's so willing to come to my place.
I should be contented liao hor.
I think letting dad know about our relationship is good.
But dad still pretends he dont know HAHA.
Kay siao one.
Should I get a Lomo Camera?
I really want the 3 eyes camera.
SHOULD I ANOT!
It's like so stupid.
I have one digital camera.
And I'm getting a lomo,
which requires me to waste money,
to develop the photos also !
It's like dumb right!
HOW SIA!
I really want one.
But I scare, I play for once or twice,
I would chuck it aside.
Since I've a digital camera.
It would be so lekchek to bring two camera out.
HOW SIA! I want a LOMO!!!
Sighed. =(
Lomo is like $26.
Should I get it anot.
It's like affordable to me.
But I dont want to spend unnecessary money leh.
Sighed. I want go clubbing !
Who wants club after exams?
After exams, loads of programme line up for me.
FBI Chalet, clubbing with genevive tentatively,
and working at oriental for moneyyyy!
Sighed. I want to work. I want money.
I want to find new job. I want new experience.
Sighed. I should stop whining.
Because I watched Life Transformer 2 today.
It's so touching, it's so sad, it's so heartwarming.
I should stop complaining and learn to live like the old granny.
Who takes up all the responsibility on her shoulder,
and never complain at all.
She should be given a good life next life.
Please. May she be well & happy for now.
She ought to live a good life.
That's all for today.
Night. Back to writing notes.
I'm supposed to write notes.
But I'm blog hopping & blog shopping.
Sighed. So damn distracted.
Cannot! K study.
Bye.
1:21:00 AM
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Check out this site.
Pastor Rony Tan,
I'm sorry.
You said recarnation is rubbish.
Then how about yours, don't believe in god,
you go to hell? How's that?
But well, this is what we need to clarify for.
The above site is the exact things you have said,
but it required some clarification. Hmmmm.
No offence to the Christian friends.
For one thing, respect others just like how you want others to respect you.
Just like what the buddha has said.
And yes, this would be the right way to respond to you.
‘If anyone were to speak ill of me,
my teaching and my disciples,
do not be upset or perturbed,
for this kind of reaction will only cause you harm.
On the other hand, if anyone were to speak well of me,
my teaching and my disciples,
do not be overjoyed, thrilled or elated,
for this kind of reaction will only be an obstacle in forming a correct judgement.
If you are elated, you cannot judge whether the qualities praised
are real and actually found in us.’
- The Buddha, Brahmajala Sutta.
I'm proud to be a buddhist, yes I do.
And did I mention?
My buddhist name is - Kusala.
And it meant, merits. =)
Sadhu Sadhu Sadhu.
If by speech or actions,
I've done anything wrong,
to offence anyone,
I'm sincerely here to apologize.
I'm sorry.
=)
2:13:00 PM
090908 Valentine Day 2010
My love, baby.
We headed to Crystal Jade Kitchen.
Wrong Crystal Jade. =(
Baby knew I wanted to eat the xiao long bao,
and the suan la mian that I've been craving.
So he was planning for our vday celebration. =D
And he chose Crystal Jade. LOL
But we went to the wrong Crystal Jade. =(
No suan la mian, no xiao long bao. =(
Baby promised to bring me when his pay day come.
Felt so bad. =( But he treated me even an expensive dinner today.
No suan la mian, dont feel like choosing,
and baby chose char siew noodle for me.
I want suan la mian. =(
Baby order sharks' fin. LOL.
Knowing I can't eat abalone,
and love to eat sharks' fin.
HE ORDER THIS NIA.
Seriously ah, he's the first person,
who brought me to the restaurant,
to eat sharks' fin! Normally I ate it during wedding banquet only.
Omg omg omg omg omg omg ! Damn shiok I tell you.
Yes yes, my vday present to him.
He choose one nia. LOL!
Never mind, he like can already. HAHA.
Muahahaha, wearing his watch I guess?
Happy baby. HAHAHA!
Seriously today is the shiokest day we ever been together.
Yes, mine present.
Happy happy happy!
Haha baby choose one k.
Happy meeeeeee!
Okay blur, cause he dont know how to take. LOL
See after today, his hands filled with things. LOL.
I love you, SHLNK. =)
Met Xiao xiao!
Lijie's caught one !
Cute, yes damn.
Super cute soya bean.
Alright, today is filled with love, fun and laughter.
Baby came over to my place in the morning.
Had a really really bad dream, make me damn upset.
But on the spot, I received his call, to assure that it's just dream.
But it seemed so realistic sia.
Slept and woke up, baby reached already.
Left for breakfast at MacDonald.
Hop to iluma for movie tickets.
And home sweet home to rest.
Bathe and left for movie.
After movie, left for Orchard. =D
Headed to Cineleisure to shopping.
Then to Ion for shopping, looked for Weiling too.
We headed to Taka for Crystal Jade.
I want my Suan La Mian. =(
Xiao Long bao too!
But why Crystal Jade has so many versions one.
Idiot sia, waste my time. =( Couldn't satisfy my long time craving.
Then never mind, baby ordered SHARKS' Fin sia.
At first he said he wanted Buddha Jump Over the Wall.
But I cannot eat Abalone whaaaaaaaaaat!
So yeah Sharks' Fin would do. =D
After dinner, back to Cineleisure again. =)
And cabbed to baby's place.
After awhile, he need to left for Billard. =(
Just nice, Lijie smsed me.
So cabbed with baby to Bukit Timah & Back home.
Met Lijie, walked around, slacked, caught tigger!
HAHAHA! Saw Xiao Xiao & Chen Huan.
Chen Huan's permed hair damn nice.
Her boyf help her perm lah LOL.
Nice !
Then to dessert stall eat Tao Huey,
and found JJ at Bugis Street.
Then headed home. =D
While Lijie left to meet Jack & gang.
HAHAHAA! Tired.
Supposedly to study.
But I have no mood.
But well, tomorrow must study.
Because I've a really great fun day today.
Thanks to baby.
Love him.
He's the first guy to ever buy couple ring,
and brought me to eat Sharks' Fin sia!
Seriously! Okay, me not materialistic ah.
LOL, Seriously, I don't need any material things.
No need Gucci, LV. No need expensive dinners.
Haha, why waste so much money!
Got heart can arleady. HAHAHA!
And baby got heart to buy me couple ring.
Though it's just simple ring, hahaha!
I very satisfied already, Seriously!
I don't like materialistic girl,
everytime want boyf to buy expensive things.
HAHA, baby say I weird, people want branded.
But he gave me branded, I would say he waste money LOL!
Okay, I'm just helping him save money. LOL.
Unless he's doing big business,
or he can afford to buy me then still okay.
Now NS nia, buy one branded.
One whole month no need eat.
Tsk tsk tsk.
Really don't like girlf who always demand expensive things from boyf.
If want to buy, the boyf would have his heart to buy.
No need to demand branded things one.
Like that, it lost all the purpose of having one.
Seriously sia. Really looked down on those girls.
Like making themselves very cheap!
Okay okay, canot say others.
Would have bad karma.
Oh ya, I feel baby wear ring & the watch,
damn nice LOL! I don't know why.
Maybe his hands is empty without them.
Muahahha, he's mine mine mine mine now~
He's the best best best.
Hope this love would continue to be like that.
No more quarrels, everyday plain happiness.
Just love shall filled our whole life can already.
Love every moment when we are close,
love every moment when we are together.
Treasure the time that we always had it well spent.
Baby, sorry for my stubbornness sometimes.
Sorry for being irritating sometimes.
I've learnt to let you go.
People would learn from mistakes,
I hope you would learn from yours too.
No more hurting me with the emotions pain.
We've been through so much,
though you can be irritating sometimes too.
you can be not understanding or sensitive enough sometimes.
I still love you a lot a lot. Thank you for everything.
Love you.
1:47:00 AM
Friday, February 19, 2010
Seriously extremely fun.
Woke up really tired.
Because I slept at 5am.
Kinda miss my baby.
But well, didn't receive any sms in the morning.
So disappointing. =( So hope that he would have replied narh. =(
Okay lah, this baby sometimes is not very sweet, but still very nice.
Hope to Gene's place, then Jessica's place then Stacy place.
We all had something to do in each houses. HAHA.
Gene's place was Guitar Hero.
Jessica's place was Wii!
Stacy's place was Mahjong.
MUahhahaa.
Loads of photos.
Slacked, eat, chat, play.
Can't wait for another outing with them on this coming Thursday.
Which marks our end of the exam and end of semester 2.2.
Welcome to year 3. Woot!
Anyway. bored bored here.
Let me see how old I would get married.
HAHAHA, i know this thing is nonsense.
But play for fun. haha.
How old are you going to be when you get married?
Put an X in every box that applies to you.
Add up all the x`s and title subject with the sum as "My marriage age is__"
[ ] You know how to make a pot of coffee
[x] You keep track of dates using a calendar
[ ] You own more than one credit card
[ ] You know how to change the oil in a car
[ ] You do your own laundry
[ ] You vote every election
[x] You can cook for yourself
[ ] You think politics are exciting
[ ] You balance your own checkbook
[x] Your parents have better things to say than your friends
Total: 3
[ ] You show up for school/college/work every day early.
[ ] You always carry a pen in your pocket/purse
[x] You've never gotten a detention
[x] You have never smoked a cigarette
[x] You have never gotten completely trashed
[ ] You have forgotten your own birthday at least once
[x] You like to take walks by yourself
[ ] You've watched talk shows.
[ ] You know what 'credibility' means without looking it up
[ ] You drink coffee[caffiine] at least once a week.
Total: 7
[x] You know how to do the dishes.
[x] You can count to 10 in another language.
[x] When you say you're going to do something you do it.
[x] My parents trust me
[ ] You can mow the lawn
[x] You can make adults laugh without being stupid
[ ] You remember to water the plants
[x] You study when you have to
[x] You pay attention at school/college
[x] You remember to feed your pets
Total: 15
[x] You can spell 'experience' without looking it up.
[ ] You work out on a regular basis.
[ ] You clean up your own mess
[ ] The people at Starbucks know you by name
[ ] Your favorite kind of food is take out
[x] You have gained weight since middle/high school
[ ] The first thing you do when you wake up is get caffeine
[ ] You can go to the store without getting something you don't need
[ ] You understand political jokes the first time they are said
[x] You can type quickly
Total: 18
[ ] You have realized that the weather forecast changes every hour
[ ] Your only friends are from your place of employment
[ ] You have been to a Tupperware party
[ ] You have realized that no one will take you seriously unless you are over the age of 25 and have a job
[ ] You have more bills than you can pay
[x] Most of all your friends are older than you are
[ ] You can say no to staying out all night
[x] You use the internet every day
[ ] Your wardrobe hasn't changed in a while
[x] You can read a book and actually finish it
Total: 21
K what the hell, I'm getting married at 21.
Nonsense. 2 more years. Siao.
Haven't settle my study, my career.
How to start family. Tsk, Tsk.
K this quiz is fake. LOL
Okay byebye.
Baby, just wished, I could understand you now.
i just don't understand you anymore. Sighed.
Failure to be a girlfriend. Yes I do.
1:06:00 AM
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Can I ? Hope it come out with something obvious.
Sighed.
5:05:00 AM
CNY DAY! With brother. =)
Happy Siewhui's birthday. With my girls.
Everytime I want to blog with a photo that time.
Surely, I've to wait for a long time to upload the photos.
When the photos are uploaded. I want to sleep already.
Sian. I haven't done anything the whole day.
Supposedly to study but I didn't.
My goodness.
Chatted with boyf on phone just now.
Kept disturbing each other.
Miss the time. Haha.
Okay, practically,
everytime that we chat on phone,
it's either disturbing each other,
teasing one another, making fun,
make each other laugh or whatever,
or the worst thing, quarrel. LOL!
But I still love to chat with him on phone.
Don't know why, after being together for so long.
I still love every single things that we used to do.
I don't get sick of it, neither do I get bored of it.
But well, hope he feels the same way too. But well. Heh.
Anyway, tomorrow would be out with my poly pals.
Can't wait. Really. I love my poly pals.
They are the best school friends I ever made.
Didn't really make a lot of good friends in Secondary School.
Primary school one, is either lost in touch or whatever.
Except Jiajia. HAHA!
Seriously, I don't know how we even got so close together again.
Jiajia hor hor hor !! LOL! But love the time when we are out.
Cause it's just shopping shopping. HAHAHA!
She always chiong town one. Xiasiren. LOL!
So yeah. Someone give me the motivation to study.
It's like getting out of hands.
SIAN. so sian.
It's 5am now.
And I'm wide awake.
I'm looking for a pink hellokitty mahjong set.
Or maybe golden one would do too !
I know I don't play mahjong.
BUT I DO KNOW HOW TO PLAY K.
Sian. I just want to the mahjong set.
If anyone buy, I sure steady play mahjong one.
I so badly want that hellokitty mahjong set!!!
Okay, no cravings.
Roar. Read dharma book today.
Felt at peace a lot.
Lots of burden cleared inside me.
Sort of sorten out my thoughts and stuffs.
And so, hope these could carry on.
My life would get better,
my relationship would get better.
And also, my family would get better.
I'm kinda worry for my brother.
But well, he's so fierce nowadays.
Emo kia really. Sighed.
Wished I could do something.
Give me a chance to do k.
Alright Alright.
I feel so tired now.
Time to sleep. =)
Tomorrow would be fun.
And I would be guilty,
for not studying.
OH DAMN~
K fine.
Byebye.
3:07:00 AM
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Gotta be a busy day of doing filing,
punching hole and sorting out my papers.
And then I shall start making notes,
so that I would be able to study easier.
Thursday would be the day to visit Poly friends' house.
So exciting, I really hope kor kor lend me the car.
Really loh~ Then at night, maybe meet baby?
Friday Saturday & Sunday would be studying.
Yes yes Studying all the way till I shuang.
Then Saturday see if possible,
go out celebrate Vday with baby.
Then Sunday go out house visiting.
HAHA!
I'm so not in mood to study.
Roar I'm not.
I should learn not to ask so much. Heh!
Okay okay, love baby a lot a lot.
Miss him even though he's just away like two hour ago.
Can't possibly think of the time when he's away to Taiwan.
3 weeks leh. 3 weeks! And anyone want to celebrate my birthday with me?
He's away for Taiwan. Away leh~ Sighed.
Okay learn to be independent. =)
And love him at the same time.
Hope he do the same. =)
Byebye.
12:55:00 AM
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Roar. Sometimes suddenly so nice,
sometimes suddenly treat me like what.
Really want to bite his head off sometimes.
*Bite*
These two years, we didn't celebrate.
It's our second year of valentine day.
Haha, but for these past 2 valentine day.
No celebration. Sighed.
Never mind.
He said this Saturday, he would plan something.
Let's shall see. Sighed. Last Friday also say so.
Sometimes, really hope he meant the things he said.
Just that. Don't kept making my hope so damn high,
and make me fell hard hard.
Anyway, let's hope that this Saturday,
he would meant his words perhaps?
Haha. Just anything lah,
really hope he meant this words.
Like want to meet me, already say so.
Then really hope he would do it.
Don't last minute tell me, he's meeting friends.
Roar.
Don't think my heart can take it.
But seriously, I really love him.
But well, perhaps I loved him too much?
Hmmmm, was it a good thing not to love someone too hard?
Would he feel the freedom that he wanted?
Hmmmm. Complicated.
Never mind, I'm learning to let him go.
Perhaps he would feel better?
And I would feel better too.
He ever did to betray me again,
then forget it, this guy wasn't meant to be.
Think because of the major setback of the bitch.
Made things turned so tiring for two of us.
I lost the trust, he didn't try to earn it back.
Well, it's true that, trust take years to build,
and take a second to break. Really.
Not trying to be emo.
I'm really not.
I read my dharma book today.
I guess I've lost in touch with dharma for quite some time.
I really changed so much, I had craved so much,
be attached to baby too much.
All these clinging on,
caused so much suffering.
Buddha, I'm really sorry.
I really don't know why I've changed.
I promise to read dharma book as much,
and do meditation more to purify the mind.
And again, I lost the reflective me.
I always do reflection every night.
To ensure that I was mindful every speech, every actions.
But nowadays, I don't do it anymore, I speak without thinking.
I scold vuglarities, drown in sorrows, delusions and anger.
I get angry, pissed off easily. So much to take.
I can see myself changing.
I can feel myself changing.
I really miss my past.
So much.
For once, I really need to thank Zeming,
he really lead me back the way.
Somehow, I guess I was lost somewhere,
after meeting so many setbacks.
It's that day, that he told me,
to understand what I wanted.
I've too much attachment.
Yes I do.
That's the time, I started questioning myself.
I know what I want, I know what I don't want.
I really know it. But I'm giving myself some time.
To really understand the situations, and do something about it.
Maybe salvation could help, maybe letting go would help.
One way or another, it just need to turn better.
I miss SBM, I really do.
I really miss the family time,
I really miss how often I always with them.
I really miss everything, every single things.
Things would go back to the same. I hope.
I'm sorry for drowning myself in sorrow all the time.
Instead of going out to take a breathe,
I always love to stay home and continue to be upset.
Hoping for boyf to come and give some comfort.
But knowing him too well, he won't.
But that's him. Haha.
So yeah, things would get worst from there.
It's time to change this habit.
It's time for me to get out of my comfort zone.
I need to be back to the same old wanling.
I want to smile like nothing.
Smile like the girl,
that everyone used to know.
I want to be the same girl,
that laugh like nobody business,
smile the days away and bring happiness to everyone. =)
Yes I do, I really want to.
Time to be mindful.
Really mindful over every intentions,
every emotions, every actions and everything.
It's just gotta be me.
The same old me,
welcome back. =)
11:18:00 PM
when you're too tired to hold on,
but you're too in love to let go.
我很累了，真的很累。
You know, I don't demand anything.
I just want to feel love. Feel important.
But yet, it wasn't this feeling at all.
He doesn't like to hold my hands.
He doesn't like to go out with me.
He doesn't like to talk things out.
He doesn't like to bring me out with his friends.
He doesn't appreciate me at all.
He doesn't treasure me at all.
I really feel so inferior.
He always choose friends over me.
Nothing to do, then find me.
Seriously, I really deserve better.
Not that I don't treat him nice at all.
Not that I didn't put him as my priority.
Not that I didn't change for him before.
Not that I didn't love him enough.
It's just way too hard. Too tiring.
I want to cry. I cried and cried.
But he just continue to sleep.
He didn't really care at all.
Even if I go and die,
he would not be bothered.
Really. He's like that.
Would this kind of life be the life I want in the future?
Would things still remain the same in the future?
How long more does he need to change?
How long more does he need to realise?
How long more does he understand what I'm going through?
I hate love.
Really hate it.
It's just get tiring.
He say that having a girlf is such a pathetic thing.
It's from his mouth, what can I actually say?
No matter what I do, he just don't get it.
No matter how much time I put in,
how much effort I've been putting.
It just seem worthless.
Do all guys treat me this way?
Or is it, gotta be him only?
I feel tired.
I just want to runaway.
I just want to learn not to be bother.
I just want to learn to not love someone so deep.
It's just not on the same equal wavelength.
I'm just extremely love him,
while he just don't love me.
I can feel it.
Forget about it.
It's just the same thing,
over again and again.
One day, it will all fade away completely.
From my life, from his life.
It's just be the same.
Tired.
No girl should ever forget that,
she doesn't need anyone,
who doesn't need her.
This song just describes how I felt.
All this time I was wasting
Hoping you would come around
I've been giving out chances every time
And all you do is let me down
And it's taking me this long
Baby but I figured you out
And you're thinking we'll be fine again
But not this time around
You don't have to call anymore
I won't pick up the phone
This is the last straw
Don't wanna hurt anymore
And you can say that you're sorry
But I don't believe you baby
Like I did before
You're not sorry, no, no, no, no
Looking so innocent
I might believe you if I didn't know
Could've loved you all my life
If you hadn't left me waiting in the cold
And you got your share of secrets
And I'm tired of being last to know
And now you're asking me to listen
Cause it's worked each time before
But you don't have to call anymore
I won't pick up the phone
This is the last straw
Don't wanna hurt anymore
And you can tell me that you're sorry
But I don't believe you baby
Like I did before
You're not sorry, no, no, oh
You're not sorry, no, no, oh
You had me falling for you honey
And it never would've gone away, no
You used to shine so bright
But I watched all of it fade
So you don't have to call anymore
I won't pick up the phone
This is the last straw
There's nothing left to beg for
And you can tell me that you're sorry
But I don't believe you baby
Like I did before
You're not sorry, no, no, oh
You're not sorry, no, no, oh
No, oh, no, oh, no oh
Whoa, no, no
The problem is - you don't even say sorry.
You don't even feel guilty.
That's the only thing,
that you're different from this song.
Sighed.
4:46:00 PM
Sunday, February 14, 2010
It's gotta be a red red post.
Because it's a chinese new year.
Yes I'm shou-shui-ing now.
It's 4am. I gotta sleep already.
Had quarrel with baby again.
Cause I really felt damn sian.
Last night supposedly to celebrate,
but he sort of too tired, and I expected already.
So didn't go out to the resturant that he promised.
Haha, never mind. We went for a midnight movie with weiqiang they all.
So yeah, today no reunion dinner.
I felt doubly sian. Nobody to spend my cny eve with.
Super duper sian. Thriple sian. Baby rather go for mahjong.
It started when I was damn upset that I've no where to go.
And baby keep didn't want to reply my sms.
So it started to get even more frustrating.
Till I lost my temper. -.-"
Never mind. Sian.
It's so frustrating lah.
Really hate to sms people,
and then don't want to reply at all.
Forget it lah. Suan liao.
In the end become my fault.
Cause I kept asking him to come over.
Sighed. Nobody to seek comfort lohhhh.
Luckily, the two best friends came over to my place. =D
Shiying & Clements. =D Thank you guys !
Really made my day a lot a lot.
Been so down down down.
And Shiying realised I cried,
seriously, it's like damn good friends.
I mean like, normally you won't really go notice these.
So yeah, chatted, laughs, gossip and see chiobu. HAHA!
Sibei bo liao. =/
Clements is zai, he can find parking lot in my house,
when so many people at my place praying for guan yin ma.
When we sent Shiying down, I saw so many people lah.
I still thought no food lah! After that ate my supper.
Sighed. That's my reunion dinner sia.
Somemore with Shiying & Clements.
Not with family lah. Sighed.
I want more of such midnight outing leh.
I hope Clements has car like a lot a lot time lah.
Next time just call them out when I've car already lah.
Don't care already. They super steady one lah!
Been spending a lot time with Clements & Shiying.
Hahhaha, we've been going out and home.
Did my nail yesterday night.
Anyhow luan bua the whole nails.
It looked shit. Oh well.
Out with Amy yesterday.
For awhile only nia. =(
We met at Lot 1, just for one noodle.
And left to meet her boyfriend already.
Then I joined them for awhile,
till baby came over fetch me.
He attitude norh. Sad.
But after that he damn nice.
Super sian. Shiying & Clements have left.
I'm left alone already. But better than nothing.
At least I've my reunion dinner with them.
Or rather reunion supper when nobody want to have it with me.
Lionel called to jio me go Chinatown and have reunion dinner,
and go squeeze with people.
But I'm like super sian, plus very upset.
Plus he called at 12 am, just nice going to pray at home.
Sad sia, I really felt like going to chinatown.
But lazy squeeze with people, especially with a foul mood.
I think I'll squeeze people by pushing them off loh.
I dont want to be so bad lah. =(
Okay I'm getting tired.
Time to sleep. =)
Happy Valentine Day to everyone.
And Happy Chinese New Year.
("V") Love Baby ("V")
3:59:00 AM
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Sighed.
Boyf going out to have mj with his friend on Vday eve.
While the girlfriend is rotting at home.
I really want to cry cry cry.
Felt so inferior again and again.
Shitty shit feeling.
Fuck.
6:42:00 PM
Friday, February 12, 2010
My muscle ache like hell.
My back pain like shit.
Ahhhh, why my blog getting so emo.
So down so down down down down down.
But seriously, soooooooooooo busy like hell. =(
I don't like this life, I don't like.
My back is killing me.
My muscle is so painful.
My head is so heavy. =(
Don't like this feeling.
I'm left with 2 things for my problem management now.
Damn sian, and I'm left with reflections.
Reflection is so bo liao. Sian.
Double sian.
Busy busy busy day.
Tomorrow is Friday.
I've finish my last day of school.
So excited. Weeeeeeeeeeee~
But QSM is killing me right now now now now!
Damn, one last project to go, and it's be free.
Er, maybe not, there's still exams coming up.
Exams on the 22nd and 25th February.
I really need to work hard for all these.
My grades are dropping. =(
Like real bad.
It's like dropping so lowwwwwwww,
I can't see it anymore.
I think my GPA would drop.
Can someone help me raise it ?
SIAN~ Kill me.
Goodbye.
12:25:00 AM
Thursday, February 11, 2010
The 10 creatures that we caught long ago.
The pictures are damn due till I don't know when.
Alvin&Zeming&Shixiong is the pro lah.
HAHA, love my stitch and melody a lot. =D
Thanks Alvin!
Alright, I'm super super tired.
I'm really getting so tired till I felt like puking.
My head is spinning, my eyes are closing.
I'm like over exhausted already.
Been sleeping very little lately,
was doing project and project.
It's just like a never ending issue.
But I'm extremely delighted,
because finally, I'm left with problem management,
even though there's 3 part to this thing.
At least I completed the executive summary, quality standards, resume and survey.
There's more to go, I really hope to complete it by Friday.
Friday, there's a surprise laid for me,
don't know how true was that? Hmmm.
Got a surprise today. And got my bike jacket that I've been longing for.
Thank you boyf.
Oh well, just hope he really meant what he say this time round.
I can't be crying to myself again and again though.
He needs to really do something about it,
and on my side, I'm working hard on my part too.
Sighed. Just hope nothing goes wrong again.
But I'm really glad that he thought of me when he've booked out.
And came over to find me and give me a suprise without telling me.
It's all these little bit and pieces things,
that would make me smile my heart out.
Just little bit would do.
I'm tired already.
Time to sleep.
School tomorrow.
It's the last day of school.
Wooohoooo.
The last day of my second year.
Can't wait for my second year to end.
I want to start the third year.
Goodnight.
1:48:00 AM
Tuesday, February 09, 2010
It's just the same thing all over again.
I hate army. I don't know why.
I had this really bad feeling when he was going back to army again.
And there it goes, my nightmare came true. Fuck all these.
Was it the last time that we are really breaking up?
Does the feeling all fade away?
Do everything don't mean a thing anymore again?
Sighed. Impermanence. When it's time to let go,
I'll have to let go.
Balloon, fly fly fly away.
10:30:00 PM
Everyday at least a post.
One day can post up till 10 post.
I don't know since when,
I stopped blogging.
And once in a while,
I'll only drop by to say a hello.
Or something to update my whole week life.
Maybe that's we called upon of growing up.
When we grow up, things get messier.
Life gets harder, people get complicated.
It's often because of the bad experience.
Once a bad experience occurred, it never really goes away.
Wanted to learn to trust again,
wanted to learn not to be paranoid,
wanted to learn how to believe in things.
But it's all seemed so hard for me.
It's just a big impact in my life.
Didn't know when I started changing,
things didn't really affect me a slightest the last time.
And now, I'm changing, people are changing, thoughts are killing.
Sometimes, somewhere, I still remember something.
Really hope it's just some balloon, I can let it go like ABC.
Poke it off with a needle, and it would be forgotten one day.
Reality is still reality. Sighed.
I dont know why I got so emo,
perhaps it's the time of the month?
I don't know?
Does all girls feel emotional when the time of the month is coming?
Or do they still feel as good as possible? I don't know.
Run. Runaway from reality.
Kill these thoughts.
If I don't kill these thoughts,
it would in turn to kill me.
I'm going crazy.
Life's get harder and harder each day.
Really hope, there's somebody to be there,
and tell me everything it's gotta be okay and they would be there.
Nah, but it's all in the fairytale life. We don't always get that in life.
Life's just a pathetic lil thing, we get busier and busier each day,
till the day we don't know what's the meaning of it.
In relationship, we take each other for granted.
Take the love and care like it was meant to be.
Not a slight effort from one side nor the other.
But it takes so much of a life to be suck into,
just to be in love.
Maybe it just didn't meant to be.
Maybe it's just every single thing.
Or maybe it's just me.
I can't find back the wanling I used to know.
It's fading away, gone with the bad experience killing inside.
Memories kept flowing pass again and again.
It's making me frightened, so scare.
I don't want to hold onto anything.
I don't want to pretend I didn't care either.
I thought couple was supposed to understand each other,
get through the shits together and be there for one another.
I've been trying to be there, till I don't think the one need it anymore.
Been trying to be understanding as well, been trying hard here and there.
Till the point in time, I asked myself, was it trying too hard?
The problem is gotta be there,
unless somebody initiates to do something.
Somebody could do something to ease the problems,
ease that emotions that kept arising every now and then.
It's always all goes down the word - Trust.
The lacking of assurance, the lacking of trust.
And the lacking of understanding.
Too much to take.
Just want to throw my life up.
And yes, FML.
FML this whole time.
It's been shit this week.
Projects, please stop.
It's stressing me up.
Damn this thing.
12:40:00 AM
Monday, February 08, 2010
There's so many things to do.
Ought to do project on the weekends.
SO MANY THINGS LAH! Duhhh.
After test, was supposed to go and do project.
But well, after that supposed to go out and didn't go out already.
And started my project like real real real real late.
So angry at myself. Kept having so many things.
And it's been a bad week with baby.
We are going down down down down down (downnnnn~ downnnnn~)
LOLOL! I don't know why, this song kept repeating in my head.
Okay, I don't like the down part though. =(
Really love the happy times.
Hope the happy time come back again.
It's like the bike is cursed lah, everytime.
Everytime he got his bike, we sure quarrelled one.
I really don't understand why. Sighed.
Really hate RVF. It's so dangerous.
I spent my days and night worrying.
Sighed. Don't like this feeling.
And hate the way he empty his promise.
Hope there wasn't the next time anymore.
But today, baby brought me out to watch movie in the evening.
We watched 14 blades, pretty good show, worth the watch.
It's like a relax time despite all the busy work.
Went shopping again. =D
And he being him,
brought a jean again.
LOL!
He wanted to buy my valentine present.
And he went to look at all the watches.
The Guess one was pretty nice. =D
But it's too big for me.
The DKNY, I found it looked weird on me.
HAHA! And I kept urge him to go Bencoolen to buy.
It's like cheaper lah. LOL! And he like don't care. =.="
I mean, where can he find such a good girlf,
who helped him save money on a present one. LOL!
Seriously seriously seriously. HAHAHAHA!
But he don't care leh, he don't care. =(
Then we exchanged detail about what we wanted to buy for valentine.
No more surprise already. =( hahaha! I already know what he want to buy.
I actually wanted to get Brau Buffel wallet for him,
but he rather have the leather jacket. He also liked me like that,
chose a cheaper present. =.=" LOL! Don't understand why.
But I only scared he won't wear it often, cause it's so heavy.
But one thing for sure, the leather jacket gotta protect him!
And that's another thing, it's a MUST buy for him you know.
Oh well, so sian, no surprise for the present already.
But it's better this way, at least he can choose his present.
So we weren't buy the wrong thing you know you know!
Gotta make something for him for this valentine day too!
So happy that we celebrating the 2nd valentine together.
Woooooooohooooo~ But it's on a New year day. =(
And daddy knows about our relationship already.
He's not objecting, and he still likes him. Heh heh!
Mum invited him over for new year, don't know baby wants anot?
Oh well, I'm so happy my family accepted him. =D
Okay, happy girl today.
Gotta sleep now.
Tomorrow school. =(
Byebye.
1:07:00 AM
Wednesday, February 03, 2010
Damn. Hates the RVF so much.
Really a lot a lot a lot a lot.
Damn it.
So people thinks RVF it's so damn cool,
no way man, I think it's so dangerous.
Hate it so much. I just wish,
I can just carry it up,
and throw it into rubbish bin.
Damn.
I'm rather busy,
wanted to have a proper post,
but I guess, I just brush through my days.
Been havoc-ing this week, like as if exams are over.
Monday was Kbox at Downtown East,
we sing song sing song till 12 plus am sia.
Lucky, Clements sent us back. =)
Tuesday was Serangoon Garden with Bingru & Desmond.
Bingru's treat, thanks dude. =) Pretty nice food there.
Wednesday which is today, we went to Clements' place,
to try out the Pineapple tart. HAHAHA.
Damn nice!
Okay, I got to go back and do project.
I really hate how busy I am.
And I hates it when baby is having nights off,
and he's not with me. Damn it.
We gotta hardly meet this weekend already,
and yet the nights off, he don't want me go over,
neither he wants to come over. So angry.
I really hope Sunday, the project could end early.
Really no mood to do project on weekends.
Like seriously. Saturday, hopefully we can finish it.
so we don't have to do it on Sunday already lah.
Hope everyone does it efficiently.
Sian sian sian sian sian.
It's gotta be a long day tomorrow,
before the night can come to meet baby.
Really hates the time when I have to wait and wait.
I really can't wait he can ORD soon, like tomorrow.
Damn it. I hate army. Hate it to the core.
7 more months for baby to ORD.
Please freaking hell fly faster.
I really can't wait anymore.
It's making me impatient.
Holidays are coming, I want to find a proper job.
Moreover, an office job would be a better choice.
Can't wait. So I can go out in the evening. Hahaha.
And Saturday can go for SBM, Sunday to meet baby.
And perhaps, with a job that can end early,
and I can chiong for Oriental at night.
HAHAHA.
I want to be rich this holiday.
I haven't been working for a long time.
It's like the last last holiday, was busy due to Hainan GC.
Then the last holiday was busy having driving lessons.
Now I passed already HAHA, can drive any time.
As long as there's car for me, hope kor kor don't keep use.
Told him to tell me if he not using the van,
so I can use it when he's not using. hahaha.
Supposedly to use it last Saturday,
but nowhere to go. =(
Wanted to meet Alicia and Jessin one,
but then in the end, we cancelled off the meetings. =(
Cause Alicia have to stays for dinner with family.
And also, if we go out ah,
I can go and fetch them one norh.
but I don't know the route well. =(
And they are dispersed all over Singapore.
LOLOL.
Seriously ah, I need to start recognising the route well.
If not, I'll always be lost in Singapore. =(
Anyone wants to bring me for rounding more often?
HAHAHA!
I kinda miss a number of friends.
Which I haven't been going out for a long time.
Like Esther, Liang Eng, Waiyik.
Like Amanda, even though she just living upstair.
Like Shanyuan, super long never see him.
Like Cheeren, he got a girlfriend already! Cannot meet. HAHA!
Like Liping, we keep say want to meet, but so long already. =(
Like yiting & Yilin, I also don't know why keep say want meet, then never.
LOL!
SIAN LAH! Sometimes ah, got van,
also no place to go lah. SIAN~
When no van, a lot place to go like that.
SIAN~
Really hope kor kor don't need use van this weekends,
if not keep asking Clements to fetch, I abit feel bad.
The oil fee's expensive ah. =(
I think he's a good good person lah,
don't mind anything one. Like seriously.
Okay lah, I very sian alreayd. time to do project.
Byebye.
9:03:00 PM
