Monday, March 29, 2010
But he don't seem to take it to heart.
He said let everything be natural.
But how does it become natural,
when you don't put effort in it.
Sighed. Disappointment.
When you said things that are hurtful,
just simply apologize at the end of it.
But you just continue thinking you're right.
Sighed. What to say.
1:46:00 PM
This is the best food I ever love from Taiwan. =)
Anyone goes to Taiwan, please bring me this.
I would love you to bits bits bits.
I want my Iphone!
Yes I've decided.
To get the white one. =)
Because of what my brother said to me.
Apple stuffs are mostly white. Haha.
Or maybe if they really have a pink one,
I would be even more glad to get the pink one. =X
Somehow I was disappointed after getting so extremely happy over today.
Because it's the day that I'm getting my iphone. Yes, I wanted one badly.
But after arriving a Plaza Singapura's Starhub with my parents & baby.
I got to know that, I might have to wait till 11pm at least to get the phone.
Damn shit.
I was so extremely upset please. Sighed.
So I have no choice, but to leave. =(
Goodbye Iphone, see you on Tuesday.
Luckily, there are no events on Tuesday,
that's why I can get my iphone. =D
So can't wait you know.
Working on Monday, Wednesday & Thursday.
Hope to earn as much money as possible.
Although I got the lousiest timing ever.
Oh well. It's like better than don't have. =)
Reflections.
Was listening to Ven. Mahinda's talk last night.
It was an enriching talk that I listened for quite some time.
Although my headache was killing me, I don't know why.
My head started getting extremely painful suddenly.
Guess I was too exhausted. Blame who?
Blame myself.
Cause I was out with Jessin & Alicia & the guys,
to play bowling on Friday night.
But it was really funny thing with baby & alicia fighting. HAHA.
I learnt from the talk,
if ever you have a fight with anyone,
learn to tell yourself, beyond self.
When you don't have that ego and that self-center mind,
you wouldn't be so unhappy and cause suffering to yourself.
Lately, I've been really emo.
I don't know why. And Fuzhong said correctly.
I should stop making a fuss and then kept going up to them,
when the problem is, I kept going in circles in my whole life.
That's why, sometimes bottling up is the better solution.
Perhaps perhaps. I don't know. Guess keeping things inside,
it would be better, you don't have to explain to anyone.
You don't have to tell anyone why it's like that.
Actually, beyond self. Don't always put yourself first,
learn to put others before self. =)
I think when you put others before yourself,
you would feel a lot better, because you don't always think for yourself.
You don't always think why things are like that,
why are you suffering and stuffs.
Reminisicing the time that we were happy.
That you would always have a lot things to talk to me.
To say to me, to meet up with me, to always trying find place to go.
You're the one who always plan outing, making me feel loved.
Who would come up to me, to apologize for making me upset.
Who would stop fights from arising, never raise voice before.
I don't know when it was the time, that things are changing.
Maybe I didn't realise, maybe I didn't notice.
And now it's too late to even realise.
I just miss the time when you spend quality time with me.
Ensuring me, assuring me, loving me.
Was it me or you, or us?
Or was it time changed everything?
I feel lonely sometimes,
even though you were beside me.
I feel empty sometimes,
but you never really notice it.
I just hope things would change better after telling you.
Just hope you would do something about it.
But I know you don't read my blog anymore.
I know you didn't even bother to read anymore.
I just hope some days you would just actually realise it,
and by chance pass by this post, knowing that I've been trying.
Trying hard to regain what we've lost. But I can't do it alone.
I need you to help me. Don't make me lose my hope again.
I realised, I stopped speaking to my blog.
Because there were a lot of restrictions.
My blog used to be the place I whine, I cried, I smile.
But I couldn't do it anymore, because of what he told me.
So in fact, I changed myself, changed my lifestyle.
I began talking to my friends, but it wasn't a good idea either.
Because people get sick of repeating themselves,
and I don't really need any comments,
sometimes I just needed help,
sometimes I just needed someplace to cry on.
Last time, whenever I met with a problem.
Whenever I cried, I would definitely on my blogger up,
and start typing away. Releasing my emotions onto this blog.
But I don't do that anymore.
Guess that's the reason,
why I neglected my blog so much too.
Blog has so many restrictions.
When you say something that sensitive.
People would start thinking you are saying them.
When you say something upseting,
people would start saying you are too emo.
When you say something that are out of angst,
people start labelling you as being so attitude, over react, childish.
Seriously, you can never make everyone happy.
I know why I was the happy girl last time,
because I always release out my emotions when it hits one me.
But now, I kept everything inside. When I find a few friends to whine,
I get all sort of comments, and I kept it inside too.
So when it accumulates, I realised I wasn't that strong to withstand it.
Enough of whining, I just want to have a happy life.
A life without any worries, tears, pain or heartbreak.
Anyone could give me that kind of life, I would love you to bits.
And thank you for everyone that actually were there for me,
those who came all the way down to find me to be there for me.
Thank you, I really appreciate it alot.
You're the best people I ever made.
I should start appreciating what life brings about to me.
And start doing more community work, to understand how other people,
who are all facing so much more than us, to help them out of their troubles.
I been thinking for myself too much, drown in my sorrow.
Care for myself, and not bother about others.
I'm sorry. Things changed so much.
Things will change better.
Good luck Siah Hwan Ling. =)
Byebye.
1:37:00 AM
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Or was it because I just felt really lonely?
I don't know.
Sometimes, even though we stayed so close.
you were right beside, but I felt lonely.
I don't know what makes that feeling comes by.
But it's just making me felt really sad.
I shouldn't have write anything about it here.
I know I shouldn't. But I got myself stucked in this situation.
I have no one to talk to. Everyone has the same mindset.
Maybe Fuzhong was right, I should really be alone for a month,
before I officially find someone to talk to.
Nothing matters anymore.
I've already landed myself in this stage.
Time to face all these myself.
And stop wasting other people time.
Sighed.
1:17:00 AM
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Yes that's my darling dear boy.
Sorry for the yellow eyes. =(
Cause if don't use flash, will blur. =(
That what he would do everytime he wants to come up to my bed.
HAHA, he would make those really pitiful voice,
make you just want to cuddle him and don't let him whine anymore.
P.S: That's not my leg please. -.-"
My leg not that scar-ful and hairy.
TYVM.
Nostalgic.
It's been quite some time I spent a whole full day with friends.
Furthermore it's like planned long ago to meet up. =D
But I don't know why everyone free on Wednesday only. =(
1pm met up with Rainer laopa. HAHA, damn long never see him.
Did some catching up, and ate yoshinoya.
After that he has to go back to work,
and I went to Mosin to book my timing,
since that stupid zhu haven't reach. LOL.
I was damn extremely tired.
Slacked at the locker room alone.
And he reached, went out to find him.
Ate KFC again, okay getting fatter.
Whatever. =(
Walked around,
I want to buy a lot of things.
But I kept telling myself,
I would be getting my iphone first. =(
Finished, then went to Bugis.
Seriously, I want to buy loads of things.
But Iphone would be my priority now.
Maybe I'm gotta put up wishlist,
so I can slowly cross it out.
Make me feel shiok when I buy it.
HAHAHA!
Around evening time, Zhu left.
I went to look for my dad & mum,
and accompanied my dearest dad to eat.
Aftermath, went home to rest, cause I'm really tired.
Then, met up with Enghua brother at Bugis.
Ate Ba Chor Mee at Bras Brasah.
Did a lot of catching up again. =D
And I felt happy for his current love now.
But he's leaving for USA soon. =(
1 year. Super long. =(
We went walking around,
catching up is the main thing.
So yeah, meeting up next month. =)
Before he leaves !! =(
So now I'm back home,
finished up my Moggallana database.
Felt relieved, with everything down.
Except, I need to start planning how to celebrate birthday.
I mean, Moggallana birthday are scattered,
I haven't got a chance to celebrate their birthday together.
Oh ya saying birthday, my birthday is coming.
I haven't planned anything though.
But maybe see who's booking me for that week.
If not I would be working already.
Book in advance k. HAHA!
Sighed, on that day I also got nothing on.
Nk's leaving for Taiwan on 9th.
Yes, on the 19th months. =(
Oh well, life still goes on.
Don't know what to do. =(
I want to go out enjoy.
Play have fun & catch up.
Alright lah, time to sleep.
Working tomorrow.
I think I'm damn naggy.
I can write a blog for a long time.
I don't think anyone bothers to read.
Ha.
Night.
1:01:00 AM
Okay lah, cause my blog is really lack of photos.
So this is the time that I really did sport k.
Don't say I fat anymore. =(
Cause I got exercise. =(
And I want to kapo photo,
also cause the photos are pretty.
HAHAHA.
No comments....
Panda kite assembly team!!!
WanLing's messy hair in the wind
Told u guys its about to rain!
It flew!!!
BFF!
Preparation for dodge ball
You want my number?
Seriously...ur hair!... lol
LOL
Moon - Fuzhong -walker
Sorry eugene but i really like ur pose and expression!!!! lovely!
12:40:00 AM
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Yes yes, I'm damn sian now.
Working on Tuesday, Thursday & Friday.
I've been sick, real sick these days.
After the pubbing at Amber 21 & Thai Disco.
Oh, I didn't mention that orh.
Jessin had planned together to go club like 2 weeks ago,
but eventually, they chose pub,
so we headed to pub and drank.
After some time, Yingying wanted to leave for Thai Disco,
so everyone joined in. =D
Oh, I saw Leo there. =D
Was feeling nice lah.
But they came in a lot later than us.
I was choosing songs when Pearly came to call me.
Then I saw her with Shixiong, haha.
Shocked, so went out with them to say hello to the others.
Then suddenly I saw Yee Chean, haha.
Talked for awhile, she became damn pretty seh.
After speaking to her, I saw Leo. HAHA.
They moved into the pub after there was vacancy.
But they went out damn fast, cause the friend vomited.
So nobody entertained me. =(
Nk & gang were playing,
and I was not in haha.
So hang around the pub.
Walked around, sat around.
HAHA. And I drank too much.
Cause nothing to do.
In the end, when I realised,
I can't walk straight liao. -.-"
But I'm saint k.
After that, cabbed over to Orchard Tower,
the Neverland is cool seriously.
Never been into a thai disco.
But the people dancing to themselves.
It's just so weird.
Maybe I'm used to club,
having people dance together.
Squeeze together, step one another. HAHA.
Thai disco not my cup of tea.
But the girls there damn hot.
But of course lah, it's the dirty type of disco.
HAHA.
And the world so small,
I was dancing on the podium remember?
I got to know Priscilla, and she's Nk's good friend's girlf. -.-"
I didn't even realised, until I saw her facebook. Shocked.
Last time I still told Nk that the girl damn pretty haha.
And so coincidencely, I got to know her too. =)
I got a secret,
but it can't be revealed.
=) Yeah, something about my body though.
Nothing of that sort. Something wrong with my body.
I don't know was it because I didn't take good care of it or what.
Sighed.
爱你不是一件简单的事
可是我想试着去做
12:41:00 AM
