Monday, November 30, 2009
I blogged a super long post.
But it's gone now.
Damn.
Anyway to cut short.
Went out with the gang,
watched New Moon.
Jacob is damn damn damn hot!
I think Edward is no longer hot anymore.
I think Jacob is super duper hot now.
His body, his abs, his face.
OMG!
After that, no place to go,
we went to my brother's chalet.
Damn kua zhang. 5 bikes 2 cars.
Like go fight like that haha.
Anthony & girlfriend came.
Played heart attack together with Liling and Peifen.
Damn funny, laughed till my stomach damn painful.
And anthony kept disturbing Peifen.
Super funny.
After that, everyone left.
And Weiqiang & Andy went to fetch Jessin & Alicia to come over.
Chit chatted till morning & played BlackJack.
Guess Alicia won damn alot money.
Cause half of my money and all of WQ's money was gone.
I was too tired already, didn't even bothered to play properly.
If I see my points not enough, I would just take another card.
If I just reached 16, I don't even care. Just leave it.
Don't even bothered to gamble for the next card.
So yeah, lost hahaha.
I was waiting to lose everything,
and go to sleep HAHA.
But weiqiang lost everything earlier than me.
SO YEAH, time to sleep.
Jessin & Alicia went off.
And I went to sleep.
Aloha Changi.
Beautiful Seaview right in front.
Woke up that time,
left baby & my family.
Baby left home with his RVF.
And I went to brother's place and back to my place.
Baby came after that and picked me to his place.
RVF IS DAMN FREAKING SCARY.
He rode damn fast lah.
But I got to be understanding,
cause if ride slow, RVF would be damn hot.
But I would rather RVF to be hot
then my life goneeeeeeeee!
I DONT WANT TO DIE!!
So yeah that ends about my weekend.
Was away since Thursday to brother's chalet.
Stayed till Saturday & went in at night again till Sunday.
Today was one of my project submission.
Finally one down, I'm damn super glad.
Wednesday, there ITPM presentation,
Friday, there's ADER test.
Monday, there's FIM & SA term test.
CRAZY, who so wu liao go put 2 test on one day.
Furthermore, it's the first day of the test days.
And I only have 2 papers, why put all on same day.
CRAZY PPL.
Okay whatever.
Time to go.
BBBYE.
11:22:00 PM
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Had to rush home since Bingru wanted the documents,
and I can't possibly stay there since there's no internet.
Damn. I so wanted a broadband on Mobile now.
I used to have so many friends that I can find to talk my sorrows out,
and make myself feel so much better, but I thought it was not a good idea anymore.
I'm beginning to feel really really tired of this hoo-haa.
You have not grown a single bit. It's just go worst.
For your information, problems don't just go away.
Problems are for you to solve and not for me alone to solve.
There are a lot problems lie on you.
I had already tried to be the most understanding person.
But you fucking hell just take it for granted.
For so many times, your sorry wouldn't even sincere.
Fcuk it. How many times I just freaking accept things are this way.
For how many times I can tolerate this kind of thing.
I've been the most patience person in the whole wide world I tell you.
Try others, they make sure you get it, but not for me.
I'm just freaking pissed off.
Fuck it.
Why people treat their girlf like precious.
Mine treat me like shit.
Relationship is a hindrance.
With a selfish partner,
it's just make things worst.
Please just stop the pretention.
When then can he be a real man?
I don't need a boyf, I need a real man.
The one who would love me and put me as the priority.
The one who would not do things to make me disappoint.
The one who would be there for me when I needed.
The one who would never lie to me and empty his promise.
The one who would keep to his words.
The one who would not leave me waiting in the cold.
This song just freaking relate to me right now.
All this time i was wasting,
Hoping you would come around
I've been givin' out chances every time
And all you do is let me down
And it's taken me this long baby
But i figured you out
And you think it would be fine again
But not this time around
You don't have to call anymore
I won't pick up the phone
This is the last straw
Don't wanna hurt anymore
And you can tell me that you're sorry
But i don't believe you baby,
Like i did before
You're not sorry.
Oh no, no, no.
Looking so innocent,
I might believe you if i didn't know
Could've loved you all my life
If you hadn't left me waitin' in the cold
And you got to share your secrets
And i'm tired of being last to know
And now you're asking me to listen
Cause it's worked each time before
But you don't have to call anymore
I won't pick up the phone
This is the last straw
Don't wanna hurt anymore
And you can tell me that you're sorry
But i don't believe you baby,
Like i did before
You're not sorry.
No, no, oh.
You're not sorry.
No, no, oh.
You had me crawling for you honey
And it never would have gone away, no
You used to shine so bright,
But watched our love fade
So you don't have to call anymore
I won't pick up the phone
This is the last straw
There's nothing left to beg for
And you can tell me that you're sorry
But i don't believe you baby,
Like i did before
You're not sorry.
No, no, oh.
You're not sorry.
No, no. oh.
12:45:00 PM
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
HAHAHA. Did i scare you all?
WOOOOOOOOT!!
Web cam is the IN thing for me yo.
HAHAHA. I know I damn sua ku lah.
Buy so long already never use,
now use already so happy. HAHAHA.
Love web cam. =D
I wanna cut my fringe.
I wanna dye my hair again.
I think dying hair is really addictive lah.
But I scare it damaged my hair.
And furthermore, I wanna perm my hair.
Or maybe I should just turn to rebonding.
If rebonding, I wanna soft rebonding.
My hair feels cui now.
Anyone wants to sponsor me rebonding?
HAHAHA.
Okay, test tomorrow.
Kinda sad sia.
Presentation also tomorrow.
Super sad sia.
But on a bright side.
There's chalet tomorrow.
Kor kor's chalet. woot woot.
Gotta have fun mannnnnnn~
I'm bringing my laptop.
BUT NO INTERNET.
LOL. Sian.
Aloha got internet anot?
Anyone knows???
Okay lah I GO STUDY.
SAD SIAAAAA!
BYEBYE.
I want A A A A A !
8:27:00 PM
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Been really busy busy busy whole day.
Whole day was all about project.
Damn sian.
Thursday, there's a ITPM test,
and I'm not prepared at all yet.
So dead soon.
After returning home,
met mummy and we went to library.
HAHAHA. Damn funny right.
I also feel so funny that my mum wants to go library.
Baby came, and we went off to eat & play arcade.
Hahaha. He wanted to play another 5 dollar,
but I kept urging him not to play already.
Wait till the next time HAHA.
In the end, he say play till we get the teddy bear,
then we don't play anymore. =(
Then I saded sia. Cause no more already. =(
Good things don't last.
But in the end, we played the jackpot thingy,
and we didn't get much tickets. HAHA.
And baby saded, he expected we would get a lot one.
HAHA. My sixth sense is good man.
My internet connection is really irritating.
It kept disconnecting me all the time.
And I really really want to do my FIM project,
and then start studying already. NO TIME NO TIME.
Damn!
Okay lah, byebye.
Babyloves.
Sometimes, I just wish you won't vent anger on me.
Especially at times that it wasn't my fault. Love you.
10:48:00 PM
Monday, November 23, 2009
Kinda miss the 3 of them. =(
Like super long never see the 3 of them leh. =(
Where are you all. =(((
Just tested with my camera.
It's super clear one.
But I forget do the setting.
Then turned out like that.
HAHAHA.
I just just just realised how to use.
Been trying to find ways to use the webcam to take photos,
until today, I suddenly had an idea. HAHAHA.
Go online and find website to take loh.
Cause my computer don't have pre-functions of webcam.
Boring... But at least, we have INTERNET.
Woot.
Been so lazing, supposedly to study my ITPM.
But looked, I'm still playing with my webcam.
HAHAHA. I bought from Hainan one leh.
Like so damn long ago, I finally want to take out and play.
And took out to play at the wrong time. Tsk.
I want an ITouch.
I want a new desktop.
I want a new laptop.
My gadgets are all dying soon.
Saded.
Someone please buy me all 3 please.
I would love you to bits man.
New Moon is coming out. =D
I think is the best thing that happened for this year.
Woot, so fast. Baby bought me the books like so long already.
I had already finished reading all 4 books, and awaiting for movie only.
Can't wait to watch it. Omg, My EDWARD. My love can.
Time to bid goodbye.
Gotta study.
Thursday is the test yo.
Been talking to Jonathan with that yo yo thing.
HAHA, like the ader is so tough yo.
The project is so irritating yo.
And oh ya,
I'm so cool yo.
HAHA.
Love me k people.
I so wanted to go club yo.
Jiajia, when want gooooo?
Lovable Ling.
HAHAHAHAA!
Bye.
8:46:00 PM
Sunday, November 22, 2009
And it's tarnished.
Out with baby.
Arcade to earn tickets.
We had 215 tickets for now.
And I want more to earn for something great.
After dinner, he left to meet WQ & gang.
While I stayed home cause I don't take bike. =(
Felt myself being so troublesome all the time.
So decided to give it a try, but was being rejected.
Double sian.
Then halfway through staying home,
met kor kor at Kallang KFC.
Caught up with life and stuffs.
And after dinner went home.
Wanted to do project.
But the laptop was lag like shit.
Desktop was destroyed.
So laptop is my only hope.
Can't mess with it.
So better not do much things on it.
Before it surrendered it's life to me.
Felt sian of being scolded again.
So finally, I give my say.
But was only in exchange with silence ignorance.
They say silence is golden, but not in this case.
If silence meant something,
and not solving problems meant something.
Then you're all so wrong.
_________
Through the actions,
the words exchanged.
Felt so inferior,
over and over again.
Sensitivity problems.
I don't know.
Paranoid, insecure?
I dont know.
Don't ask me.
It's all getting more and more inferior.
Everything seemed not to be matter anymore.
All I need, was someone to love me.
Not someone to hurt me.
When can you ever understands?
Hate to feel this way.
Hate to feel so pathetic.
Hate to feel so inferior.
Hate to feel like a shit.
But it's all this way.
Loser girl.
11:31:00 PM
These are my SIAH FAMILY in CHINA.
One whole village sia. But this are not the one village,
these are the people who are considered the big rank there.
LOL!
I have uncles that are doctor, architecture...
ALL KINDS SIA. like super zai one. =/
Feel so inferior.
YAY my love for cotton candy at the Xiamen's zhong shan lu.
This is what I had been drinking 9 days.
Go every house, they will pour these.
Like everytime leh, every house.
Everywhere too! Restaurant dont have coke those one.
You have to drink tea all the way.
That's why I felt so healthy there.
1
Little dog that loves me. Really.
I got video of him playing with me.
My mum walked over want play with him.
He walk off.
HAHA!
My eh, Lao zeh and Lao ging. =/
1
Damn kua zhang, got band to come and welcome us.
SUPERRRRRRRRRRR PAISEH. =/
1
Mother&daughter love.
This Fou got story one. =)
Blablabla, we went to Museum.
I just posted some really amazing things on earth.
Itchy witchy spiderrrrr.
Two headed cat.
4 wings chicken.
6 legged goat
Hai Long Wang
Woot. Sedan chair.
Not nice to sit one.
Super small... =/
The RA part. These are the one inside the Ji Yuan.
Lion Daughter&Mum. :D
So old school sia.
Old singer. HAHA
Xiamen's hotel. WOOT damn cool.
Tan's uncle.
China trip was amazing.
I seen my ancestor.
I seen my relatives.
My family has a really long history.
My grandfather's surname is Tan,
but he was given to my great grandfather to be child,
so his surname become Siah.
Amazing right.
So we went to china,
to visit both of them.
Okay bye.
Next post perhaps halloween ?
I haven't posted it up yeah?
Oh yeah, TP's coming. =D
Less than a month now. =D
Tests are coming.
Projects are hectic.
Bye.
____________________
Sometimes, I just wished you knew how I feel.
Sometimes, I just wished I knew how you feel.
What's hurt most is the one you loved most just smashed your heart onto the floor,
and walked away like nothing has ever happened.
I wondered and I wondered,
was I worthless to be cared for,
or was I just completely nothing in your eyes.
I miss the guy who held me close,
when I cried so terribly.
I miss the guy who apologize,
and giving in to me when I needed most.
I miss the guy who makes me happy,
by little actions he had done for me.
Are you still the same guy,
that I fell in love in the first place?
Sighed.
-The more anger towards the past carry in your heart,
the less capable you are of loving in the present.
"In love, it is better to know and be disappointed, than to not know and always wonder."
I had learnt to be strong over time.
Learnt to keep my heart safe.
And protect it with all I have.
Only to let it be shattered by him.
Now, I picked up the pieces by myself,
and I still be the one to protect it with all my might.
Only to know that, it's shattered all again.
And now, I just leave the shattered pieces,
and walked away.
11:39:00 AM
Friday, November 20, 2009
Walao eh.
How I wish I could be like Lynn.
Come so close with Luo Zhi Xiang leh.
WALAO EHHHHHHH!
HUG HIM LIKE WHAT SIA.
WALAO. LIKE COUPLE SIA!
I didn't know sia.
Until Lynn came to comment me in Facebook.
Say wanna meet LOL! Then I saw her photos,
like got boyfriend, so I kpo kpo want go see.
IN THE END IS LUO ZHI XIANG.
WHAT THE!
ANGRY!!
Lynn, if you looking at my blog.
BRING ME GO SEE LUO ZHI XIANG.
WALAO EHHHHHHHHHHHHHH~
Heartpain sia you like that hug him.
My husband - Luo Zhi Xiang,
kana anyhow hug by Lynn. =(
NOT HAPPY LAH!
Sad =(
3:22:00 AM
She won’t call you, you have to call her.
She won’t come talk to you, you should go talk to her.
She’s not going to let you act stupid and pretend she likes it.
You should just be around her.
When you’re with a group of friends,
she isn’t going to run into your arms no matter how much she wants to.
You need to come up behind her and wrap your arms around her,
and let her friends get jealous.
She loves you more than you can imagine,
no matter how much she doesn’t show it.
But you boy,
you need to show her how much you love her.
So she isn’t afraid to show it back.
To love...
When you love, never stick to what your heart feels.
Sometimes using your brain is a necessity.
Next, never use your eyes to cry for the person who fooled you.
Instead use it to search for the right one.
Don’t be scared of breaking up.
Keeping a relationship with a selfish partner is scarier.
Love the one who will fight for you and bravely face each and every consequence.
Love the one who will accept you and love you more despite great mistakes you did.
Love the one who holds on.
Someone who would never let the feelings be gone.
Love is a gift and not an obligation.
To myself...
Sometimes, its just how you see things in your perspective.
You love the way he makes you feel.
You love the way he do for you.
You love the way he makes you smile.
You love him for whatever he is.
But sometimes, things just changed.
Into something less, and one day it all came apart.
You realised, you deserved so much more better,
than what you are deserving right now.
Things changed. Love changes.
Ordeals are forgiven,
but never forgotten.
Being paranoid, being insecure, being unhappy,
is the last thing you ever wanted to be.
Sometimes, you just needed that little care,
that little actions, that little assurance,
to make all things go right.
People changed.
So am I.
On a side note,
I love Candy Floss. :)
China's Candy Floss is huge.
Love it.
1:22:00 AM
When things in your life seem, Almost too much to handle,
When 24 Hours in a day is not enough,
Remember the mayonnaise jar and 2 cups of coffee.
A professor stood before his philosophy class
And had some items in front of him.
When the class began, wordlessly,
He picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar
And proceeded to fill it with golf balls.
He then asked the students, if the jar was full.
They agreed that it was.
The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured
them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly.
The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls.
He then asked the students again
If the jar was full... They agreed it was.
The professor next picked up a box of sand
And poured it into the jar.. Of course, the sand filled up everything else.
He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded
With an unanimous 'yes.'
The professor then produced Two cups of coffee from under the table
And poured the entire contents Into the jar, effectively
Filling the empty space between the sand.
The students laughed.
'Now,' said the professor, As the laughter subsided,
'I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life..
The golf balls are the important things - Religion, family,
children, health, friends, and favorite passions –
Things that if everything else was lost
And only they remained, your life would still be full.
The pebbles are the other things that matter Like your job, house, and car.
The sand is everything else --
The small stuff.
'If you put the sand into the jar first,' He continued,
'there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls.
The same goes for life..
If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff,
You will never have room for the things that are
Important to you.
So...
Pay attention to the things That are critical to your happiness.
Playwith your children.
Take time to get medical checkups.
Take your partner out to dinner.
There will always be time
To clean the house and fix the disposal.
'Take care of the golf balls first --
The things that really matter.
Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.'
One of the students raised her hand
And inquired what the coffee represented.
The professor smiled.
'I'm glad you asked'.
It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem,
there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.'
Please share this with other "Golf Balls"
I just did......
12:39:00 AM
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Something I ripped off.
Very meaningful. :)
It's all about love.
That's what I need.
Apologizing.
does not always mean that you are in the wrong
and the other person in the right
it just means that you value your relationship
more than your ego. :)
Every girls need a man
The kind that will treat you right.
The kind that searches for you with all his heart.
The kind that respects you and adores you.
Every girl needs a man who won’t cheat on her.
One who can be trusted in a room full of beautiful girls.
Because he’s smart enough to know that
he already has a girl who has everything that he wants, needs and more.
The right guy will never leave you lonely and wondering.
You will always know where you stand with him.
He will be your best friend and lover.
He’ll call you early in the morning just to say good morning
or late at night to say good night and maybe even tell you
a bedtime story to make you laugh or talk to you until you fall asleep.
This guy will be the kind that’ll do anything for you,
even if it’s just to go to the store to buy you your favorite ice cream.
He’ll buy you flowers just because it’s a Wednesday
and will notice your hair when you’ve gotten it cut
or have gotten all gussied up specifically for him.
You deserve a guy who will cherish you.
He’d never be afraid to smile to his friends
when you’re around and tell them, “She’s the one”.
He’d appreciate you for the things you do for him,
even if they’re little… like the little love notes you leave him.
He’ll be chivalrous.
He’ll wait for you when you’re falling behind, open doors
for you and will walk you to the door to make sure you get in safely.
He would defend and fight for you and never bail on you when you needed him most.
The right guy will call you beautiful instead of hot,
he’ll kiss your forehead when you’re down and
he’ll be the one who will love you for everything you are.
Never settle for anything less.
Love & Life
Sometimes in our relentless effort to find the person we love,
we fail to recognize and appreciate the people who love us.
We miss out on so many beautiful things simply
because we allow ourselves to be enslaved by our own selfish concerns.
Go for the man/woman of deeds and not for the man/woman of words,
for you will find rewarding happiness,
not with the man/woman you love but with the man/woman who loves you more.
The best lovers are those capable of loving from a distance
far enough to allow the person to grow but never too far to
feel the love within your being.
To let go of someone doesn’t mean you have to stop loving;
it only means that you allow that person to find
his/her own happiness without expecting him/her to come back.
Letting go is not just setting the other person free,
but is also setting yourself free from all the bitterness, hatred,
and anger that you keep in your heart.
Do not let the bitterness take away your strength and weaken your faith, and never allow pain to dishearten you;
but rather let yourself grow with wisdom in bearing it.
You may find peace in loving someone from a distance
not expecting something in return. But be careful,
for this can sustain life but can never give enough room for us to grow.
We can all survive with just beautiful memories of the past,
but real peace and happiness come only with open acceptance
of what reality is today.
There comes a time in our lives when we chance upon someone
so nice and beautiful and we just find ourselves so intensely
attracted to that person. This feeling soon becomes a part of
our everyday lives and eventually consumes our thoughts and actions.
The sad part of it is when we begin to realize that this person
feels nothing more for us than just a friendship.
We start our desperate attempt to get noticed and be closer,
but in the end our efforts are still unrewarded and
we end up being sorry for ourselves.
You don’t have to forget someone you love.
What you need to learn is how to accept the verdict
of reality without being bitter or sorry for yourself.
Believe me, you would be better off giving that dedication
and love to someone more deserving.
Don’t let your heart run your life, be sensible and
let your mind speak for itself.
Listen not only to your feelings but to reason as well.
Always remember that if you lose someone today,
it means that someone better is coming tomorrow.
If you lose love, that doesn’t mean you failed in love.
Cry if you have to, but make sure that tears wash away the hurt
and the bitterness that the past has left with you.
Let go of yesterday and love will find its way back to you.
And when it does, pray that it may be the love that will stay and last a lifetime.
There are two ways to live your life:
One is as though nothing is a miracle.
The other is as though everything is a miracle.
There is no mistake so painful that love cannot forgive,
no past so bitter that love cannot accept,
and no love so little that we cannot start all over with.
In love, I've been through the worst.
You name it, I got it.
Don't ask me why I always get into bad experience of love.
I just don't know why. It's all past karma I guess.
Sometimes, I may be dumb to understand.
Sometimes, I might just give you the best advice.
Whatever it is, it's all what you see and what you do.
Nobody can help you, except yourself. :)
No matter what, you know you have me. :)
12:48:00 AM
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Back to blog some day.
Very lazy lah.
Oh ya I screwed up Ader's test.
Shitty shit.
9:33:00 PM
Wednesday, November 04, 2009
Woot, I hope it's gotta be fun.
I heard about the programme already.
It's more of a prayer ceremony all the way.
But but but but, on the bright side.
It's all in the morning till afternoon.
So there we go, shopping in the afternoon till my night.
And yes, I gotta stay up and study. Damn.
Who would go overseas when school started.
And I took LOA just because of this trip.
And now, I'm suffering from all these.
Overseas with a burden in me.
Oh damn.
I want to get this perm in China!
If time allows me to though.
I think I'm really bored of my hair,
and I'm bored of straight hair.
Straight hair is just so not IN too.
Permed hair look cooler.
But but, I don't have the daringness to give it a try.
Should I? Just try only. If not nice, come back rebond.
HAHA!
Waste money.
Tsk.
Anyway, I gotta sleep now.
Waking up 4am later on to catch my plane.
It's just so not funny at all.
I miss my boyboy.
Weiqiang please take good care of him. :)
Boyf is very sweet, he took off and leave for me,
he wanted to fetch me back from airport.
How sweet ? Very sweet.
It's been long time he took leave for me.
So nice. :)
Thanks baby.
Everybody, I'll see you on the 12th!
But of course, I would see my darling boyboy & boyf & daddy first.
HAHA! Daddy is staying in Singapore alone. =(
I don't like it. =(((((((((((
Sighed.
I hope he take really good care of himself.
PRAY HARD !
12:17:00 AM
Tuesday, November 03, 2009
Did I mentioned?
I think organising Halloween party is crazy.
Lots of decoration, but lots of satisfaction.
Best part of it, is the decorating part,
and camwhoring plus dressing up.
First time going for halloween party,
and my ever virgin time that I organise a party.
Meant to make it scary.
But it turned out just like a club.
Was that a good thing or bad thing?
HAHA!
Loads of contingency plan,
but Cherngshing is good at it.
Luckily, I had her.
She's good man.
I hope everyone had fun.
And Pearly & Mao is so nice to help me.
Nobody bothers to call me and help me,
or even ask me if wanna them to help out.
They just help me you know!
So super sweet.
If it wasn't them ah,
I think I would be damn sian.
Cuz planning all these by yourself,
it's not a fun thing!
Haha.
Loads of outings these days.
I learn to live my life like the past.
No more clinging onto boyfriend.
HAHA. I learn the hard way.
HAHA!
Life would turn better,
if I adopt a better attitude.
Love the people who loves you. :)
I'm gotta go oversea on Wednesday.
Boyboy is with Weiqiang.
Meekia & Weiguo & Weiqiang are taking good care of him.
I hope boyboy is adapting well there.
No worries, I gotta bring you home,
on that day when I come back.
I hope he dont' forget me. =(
I'm just so worry about him.
I don't know why.
He's like everything to me.
Alright, would be back on the 12th at 5pm.
However, I'm leaving on Wednesday at 8am.
Checking in timing is 6am. So crazy.
Gotta study hard in China,
since I'm having test when I'm back.
Sian.
Okay night. :)
//Edited:
Weiguo's girlf = Shervonne's sister
The world is seriously so small.
And my sixth sense is so true.
Haha, and they were talking on facebook about boyboy.
SO SMALL RIGHT. HAHA. Cute.
1:18:00 AM
