佘婉菱; 我的世界;我的生活



Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Boo!

& so, I'm online again.
So bored, been whole day in school.
Got home, & found out mum had went to see some fortune teller,
about my life, my precious and only life that is filled with wonders.
& yeah, supposedly, it was quite true in every single aspects though. =)

I didn't know my mum, brother & sister-in-law went there,
if not, I would have went with them. =/
But the consultation fee is really expensive. =/
However, they will see if you needed a new name,
and mine just suited right for me. =)

So everything was neatly planned for me in life,
however love life was the only screwed up one though.
It was said that, I have to find someone who can be more open-minded,
as I'm a very challenging & different girl from the others,
& someone who isn't possessive, & will accept me for who I am.
Preferably, a foreigner. Looked carefully, it's preferably, not must be!
& the best if I can migrate over there. =/
*Stunned*

No, I'm not going to leave whatever I had here to migrate.
Unless, it's really someone who I really love so much that I can put down everything.
& I still preferred to be with the local people though.
Oh well, love is just never meant for me.
I should stop falling in love,
and get out of myself from this fairytale world.
It don't exist anyway, not at all.

I'm lazy to go into details,
next time when I'm happy then I blogged. =/
But everything is just so accurate I tell you.
Maybe it's coincidental, maybe it's fated.
I don't know.

Time to do some assignment.
But I'm so lazy. I had been procastinating the whole night,
asking my mum what the person had said about me.
Interesting factor of life. :)

& yeah, sent my brother home.
While he was driving, he kept jerking the whole car,
I felt so irritated can. =/ Now I'm feeling so nausea. Sighed.

My group mates & I had an in house joke,
we kept saying who who who will be on newspaper.
Well, only we can understand about it though. =/
But it's damn funny when you see their expression. :)
My group mates are loved~ :)

Met Amanda & took the same bus,
& I went to Bugis. :) Saw Liangeng & Esther. :)
Fated eh~ =D

I'm working on this Thursday to Sunday,
at Suntec City. :) Try looking out for me though. =D
I see money coming in now !! Money !!
& I needs straight cash now, my bank is pathetic.
Guess, I'll be returning to banquet. =(



I'm tired now. :)
Goodnight. =)


11:58:00 PM







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Monday, April 28, 2008

Guess what?


I have two ulcers that are killing me.
My mouth had been so painful ever since few days ago,
& it's still yet to recover, I'm suffering. =(
Can somebody give me the remedies to ulcer?
I'm dying soon. =(

& I had did myself useful. :)
I finished 5/10 assignments. =D
5 more to go. :)
2 CMSK assignment. =D
3 group projects.

I can't wait for everything to end. =D
I can't wait for holidays. :)
I had proved myself useful today. =/
No more procastinating for today. =D
I'm so happy girl. =D

& my ulcers is really killing me.
How to get rid of it?
Painful I tell you.
I rather you kill me,
than to have such a painful ulcer.



& I was thinking of nudging him,
but decided not to, since he must be busy.
After I closed the conversation,
he nudged me. -.-"
Coincidental or fate.
I hope the latter.
Sighed,
but reality kills.



Sokaybye.
Goodnight.


11:28:00 PM







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Italy Cruisine? Am I right, forgotten. =/




Crystal Jade

V8. :)




Dome

Mummy's birthday.


Mine birthday. :)

Tiger, Heuer, Angel. :D

Angel girl girl. =D



Lesson was tedious today.
It's from 9am to 6pm you know!
Such a long long day, almost skipped lecture.
But after the first lecture, then I started telling them,
that we are the Z grade student, so must sit infront and study. =/


So yeah, all the three lectures,
we were all sitting at the first second row. =D
Shiying, Yingying, Charlton, Chinyong, their friend & I,
are proudly being the Z grade students now. LOL!
We are good student alright, *act only*. LOL!
You didn't know, we were sitting right under lecturer's nose,
we were chatting all the way, talking all the while.
But still, we sat right in front okay. =/



Business Process Management Tutorial damn cute,
we were doing our own business, and we were buying and selling,
& our competition between Dennis & group was very great,
so we were negotiating with all the customers.
They gave what, we gave a little lower. xD
But they still played cheat, cause they got their stocks,
at a super duper cheap rate you know !
Not fair~

& I'm feeling so fat right now.
I want to lose weight.
Guess, I should go back banquet to work,
so as to earn money & at the same time lose weight. =D




Don't want to think a thing,
but found out that, I still miss you.
Just as I typed this paragraph,
you appeared online.
Timing right.
Yet, sighed.


Memories are holding me back.
Those words you used to say,
it's still rewindling inside.
Should have expected it won't come true,
so that I won't expect this heartbreaking time.
Didn't know that, I will have to watch all these fade away.
& knowing that, I have to move on.
& that is, I have to let go.

Letting go is such a hard thing to do,
especially having you being the one inside the picture.
But I know, you want me to.


7:27:00 PM







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Sunday, April 27, 2008

I'm so bored.
I slept at 7am this morning,
& then I woke up at 10am.
I don't understand why I couldn't get back to sleep though.
So, I did my Basic Business Finance tutorial,
& it's really really killing me.
I know nuts about POA,
& then it's all about POA's term,
how the hell you want me to understand. =(

So blah, I had really terrible stomache.
Must be the super duper chilly hot steamboat last night.
But well, it's just all about that. =/

& yeah, I went to the lanshop today. =D
My Cabal is level 30 now. :D
Like it's finally reaching level 30.
I'm going to aim for a level 40 next time. =D
& I was being PK by some unknown people.
Then afew of my guild people came to help me,
so cute can, seeing all the pro pro people,
in my noob noob area. LOL!

& I became their prawn queen,
cause I made stupid error spelling. =/
& that stupid Alvin kept disturbing me. LOL!



我很怀念以前的我们
You just never understand.
Sometimes, I just wish,
you could treat me a little nicer.
People telling me, I deserved better.
But, I know, I just want to find it in you.
没希望就不会有失望


11:24:00 PM







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  • A sharp tongue can cut my own throat.
  • If I want my dreams to come true, I mustn't oversleep.
  • Of all the things I wear, my expression is the most important.
  • The best vitamin for making friends.... B1.
  • The happiness of my life depends on the quality of my thoughts.
  • The heaviest thing I can carry is a grudge.
  • One thing I can give and still keep... is my word.
  • I lie the loudest when I lie to myself. If I lack the courage to start, I have already finished. One thing I can't recycle is wasted time.
  • Ideas won't work unless ' I ' do.
  • My mind is like a parachute... it functions only when open.
  • The 10 commandments are not a multiple choice.
  • The pursuit of happiness is the chase of a lifetime! It is never too late to become what I might have been.
  • Life is too short to wake up with regrets. So love the people who treat you right. Forget about the one's who don't. Believe everything happens for a reason. If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would be worth it.
  • Friends are like balloons; once you let them go, you might not get them back. Sometimes we get so busy with our own lives and problems that we may not even notice that we've let them fly away. Sometimes we are so caught up in who's right and who's wrong that we forget what's right and wrong. Sometimes we just don't realize what real friendship means until it is too late.


Copyrighted from an email sent by Junjie. :)



11:49:00 AM







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Yeah, early in the morning.
Woke up to go and pray for someone,
but well, didn't make it still.
Got a feeling that he did it,
yet, he said he didn't.
Maybe wrong sixth sense.
Sighed. =(


Why my sixth sense is not getting correctly nowadays?
I hope it gets back to as accurate as it is the last time. :)


So yeah, went to have some dance thing.
Don't think I make it either.
Home & then met up with my Cabal Guild members. :)
They are all damn powerful alright. =/


Blahh, at night met up with Raymond & then Liangjian,
then we had steamboat. =D The really really chilly hot steamboat.
Now I felt a little weird in my stomach though. =/
Anyway, we had a great laugh over stupid thing.


& we were at some bus stop where there wasn't any bus 80,
then suddenly one bus 80 stopped at the bus stop.
I was like wondering, why bus 80 is stopping here,
then Liangjian & Raymond were like saying that they changed bus lane,
then I looked up to the board, there isn't any bus 80 here what~
Then the three of us, "Ya hor~!" LOL!
And the most cute thing is that,
alot people took the bus 80 over at the bus stop,
when apparently, there shouldn't be any bus 80 stopping there!?!?
This showed, everyone makes mistake, even bus driver. xD!

So yeah, blahhhh~
I'm home. =D
I want to play Cabal! =(
Anyway, I'm done with two assignment,
like finally!! 6 more to go please~
I'm falling asleep soon.
So boring & dead things.

& I'm being random.
I want to rebond my hair. =(

Alright, I'm so going to use up my nights to do my assignment.
Wanling, go go go go !!!

SAS Tutorial 1&2 Memo
Basic Business Finance Tutorial
3-5 min Newspaper talk
Case Study of Credit Card.
Ireland Group Project
Clothing Group Project
CMSK OLE
About Me

GG to me!~



I hate you,
for the way you had treated me.
I'm a human, with feelings.
Not a barbie doll for you to hurt.
If given a choice, I weren't even want to care.
Yet, the more I care, the more weakness I had shown to you,
& it became being a person asking too much, being too nosey about you.
Tormenting me with your words, is this all you ever wanted ?
I shall just let everything be, because you hurting me way too much.
As time goes on, I wonder how long I'll feel this way.
The pain you ever give, will it be forgotten one day?
& will love just fade away just that day?


1:00:00 AM







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Saturday, April 26, 2008

Bored~

I had a full day.
Woke up to have piano lesson.
Went out to dine with John for lunch.
Met up with Amanda for popular.
Supposedly to go other place after that,
but I ended up going home and slacked.
So yeah, decided to stay home and do my projects.

So currently, I'm not doing very greatly.
I'm done with 1/8 assignments.
7 more assignments to go.
That's a lot a lot you know!
Kill me~

I promised to have everything done by this Sunday. :D
Believe me, I will do it no matter what.
Since I will be working on 1st May to 4th May.
Means my super duper long weekend is used up for working.
So, next week will be really tough for me, but I will try hard though. =)

Okay, I'm going for dance things tomorrow. =D
I hope I will get in. I want to lose weight. =/
I don't care, no matter what, I want to get in. =D
If not, I will take up dance classes outside then.
I need to lose weight no matter what! Roar.

Alright, sleeping time. =D
It's 2am now. =/

I'm falling a sick.
Two ulcer & a little cough.
Damn~ Roar~ Hell~



Goodlucktoyou.
Youcandoit:)


1:33:00 AM







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Friday, April 25, 2008

Fainted.
I did stupid things again.
& yay, lesson end early. =D
I love my ISFUN lab teacher.
He's a nice guy. =D
He compromise with our schedule,
& he decided to have make up lesson,
said by all of us you know!
So nice lecturer,
go where find?

So before school start,
met up with my group,
supposedly was to do some project & print our lecture notes.
But we ended up printing all our lecture notes and left with no time.
Lunched together with Jazz & Shiying's Hokkien Mee damn nice.

Blahhhh, school was that great.
Met up with Dickson for dinner & lan awhile.
Supposedly to be home, but met with Shanyuan & Weijing.
Played with Heuer, Tiger & Angel.
Damn cute can the three of them.

Then maple with Weijing. LOL!
We were really really pathetic.
Both our accounts were being hacked. LOL!
At least I had that wand & hat,
& I quickly get to Ellinia to pass some money to her,
to get some wand & we went to earn money together.
Then, we kept dying & dying~ Damn cute !~
But I know Shanyuan felt damn bored,
cause he didn't want to play maple with us. =(

& home. =/

I want post pictures,
but I always couldn't get to. =(
Oh well. =(

Don't say I'm boring,
cause, I HAVE ALOT PICTURES,
just that, no fate ~ =/

ANYWAY,
IT'S FRIDAY TOMORROW,
NO SCHOOL!! xDDD
Jealous jealous jealous?
I'm such a sadistic,
Oh well~

But, no programme leh. -.-"
Ahhhh, whatever~


Okay, piano tomorrow.
Byebye. =D


1:17:00 AM







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Thursday, April 24, 2008

Hello! =)

Sorry, didn't get to blog last night. =/
So yeah, in school right now again.
Nothing much to do~
I just killed a few trees again.
We bought 500 pieces of papers,
& it's all gone. =(

Blahhhh~
& I'm feeling so hungry now. =(
I haven't eaten my breakfast. =(
I'm still waiting for Jazz to meet up with us,
to have our lunch together. =D
So long~ =(

& Congratulation to John for appealing back to school successfully. :)
But well, he's in the Engineering school.
Randall is also in the Engineering school.
No wonder, I didn't get to see him~

& just now, I was on a board,
I just anyhow point,
& I directly pointed at Jashawn's face.
I was stunned when I looked at it. LOL!
Then I shouted to my classmate,
"Eh! My ex~" -.-"
What the~
Crazy~

20 minutes more for lunch.
Then lesson start at 2pm. =(
CMSK Tutorial for two hours.
Then ISFUN Lab session for two hours also!

Hungry~
Kbye


12:33:00 PM







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Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Hello my blog,
I saw many many people today.
Even to an extent of,
after seeing Huiwen & Jiaqi,
I saw Pohleong on the bus,
& then when I went to Bugis Street,
I saw my Cousin's friend,
& then I saw my cousin.

In school,
I saw Jesscy,
I saw Yiying,
I saw Liangeng,
I saw Kangliang,
& I can't remember still got who.
I just remember, I met many many people.
& I remembered super clearly about those consecutively one,
met with Huiwen&Jiaqi, then Pohleong, then Cousin.
So cool please! Like how you get to always have fate with friends. =)


Alright, I'll blog later. :D
I just want to remind myself that,
The world is so small. =)
So interesting~
Misses~


Kcya!~


6:33:00 PM







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Liangjian said that my blog is getting boring.
Boring meh? Later I put pictures for you all to see alright.
I'm now in lab now, won't be able to upload the pictures now.
So you all wait till I go home. =DDD

&&, I'm getting lesser & lesser on blogs nowadays.
Since, I really really don't know what to blog.
& just because, somethings are better left un-blog. =/

Anyway, my class is damn cute.
We were in the same class please,
same venue, same place, same room.
Yet, we still chat on the MSN like nobody business.

& they were saying that Jenny is a boring lecturer.
Hmm, I think she's fine. =/
& everyone is calling her Jenny,
like our friends like that. What the~

Somebody goes online now,
I'm really really really bored. =(
I really really want to listen to the lecturer.
But everything seems so alien to me. =(
Who had learned about Java ?

& I want to work. =(
No money~
Let's hope,
money drop from sky. =D

Lesson for tomorrow is 2pm - 6pm.
Luckily not like today one,
it's one whole day, from 8am - 4pm.
Damn dragful I tell you!
I'm still going to have ISFUN tutorial later.
I haven't prepare anything for the tutorial.
That's so great great great~

This is only the third day,
& the whole thick thick file is killing me already.
& there's still an ISFUN lecture, PRSP lecture & SAS lab session later.
Kill the hell out of me already. =(

Who dare to say Polytechnic life is that carefree?
It's not not not not~ ROAR YOU~ =(

Life will be great,
with long long holidays.
Or rather, with forever holidays,
but that's so, =(




Okay, bye. =D



Blog later again. :D
I need to learn my Java now. =(


9:29:00 AM







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Tuesday, April 22, 2008

School was great. :D
Two hours of lesson,
& it's tutorial. :D
More interactive than lectures.

Before school, I was late for tutorial.
Almost wanted to kill myself.
Like I went to the bus stop really early.
& I ended up being so late.
Jonathan being so nice,
waited for me just because I don't know where's the room.
& after I reached, we ran to find the place.
Damn funny~

& the lesson was about some team building,
& getting to understand the strength of your teammates.
Leo, being the damn blur & cute person,
he went to bid the rubber band,
when apparently the rubber band was of no use. LOL!

After school, we went to have lunch,
& search high & low for a unused lab & started our printing spree.
It was damn crazy, & I felt so guilty for killing so many trees.
I want to be environmental friendly, but being a Polytehnic student,
it's just so tough to do so, as you just have to keep printing and printing.
So yeah, helped Jonathan with the printing together with Shiying, Yingying.

Next, Nicholas joined us & we headed to Tampines Mall to walk around & eat again.
Sat down & chit chat, & blahhhh met up with Dickson for lan. :D
My cabel is going to be damn powerful. :DDDD

Blahh, Weijing & Shanyuan.
I hope you two are alright now. :)
WJ & NSY, go go go ! =)
Everyone has their moodswing time.
So give in no matter what alright. =)
It's better to give in over trivial stuffs,
than to lose a relationship over small matters.

So yeah, home. =)
& I'm still trying to print,
but to no avail. Damn~
Polytechnic life,
is still not that interesting after all.



I guess I'm trying too hard to get back what we lost,
& you never do your part, so I give up.


Sighed, my heart still aches badly.
Perhaps, I've been living in dreams too long.
& now, reality is killing me slowly.


I miss your calls.
I miss seeing your name appearing on my phone.
I miss our late calls.


Have everything that we had gone through,
got out of your mind now? No more?


11:51:00 PM







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Monday, April 21, 2008

I miss you,
& I just can't stop the tears from flowing.


11:04:00 PM







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School was fun at the start. :)
Lecture was something new.
& Lab was even great. =)
Played Msn while shopped online,
since our project revolve around clothes. xD
But the last three hours of lectures, killed me.

& I sweared, at the last lecture, I was dead.
From the first lecture of the Business Process Mangement,
I know nuts about it, & everything sounds so alien to me.
The next lecture was Problems solving program,
it's just some java, & suprisingly, I knew how to read the pseudocode. =)
But, all the others flowcharts and whatever shits, it's like an alien again.
For the last lecture which was some system analysis.
I can't even concentrate any more. Kill me please~

Financial Business Informatic's theory is so dead.
I rather do some math, I rather do some accounts thing,
I rather count money, I rather do anything better than to study all these shits.
& the best of all, we had to print all the notes for the lectures.
Being the really noob people, we didn't print & we just went for class.
& all we could do was to listen & listen & listen. Boring~

& I'm so going to mass print all the nonsense notes tomorrow.
I sweared it's so nonsense. Nonsense course, nonsense subject, nonsense notes.
Roar roar roar, I still can't believe that I'm studying it & I'm studying for 3 years.
& best of all, I told Leo, "I guess we can't survive for a year man!"
& he replied, " We can't even survive the first day, how to survive one year!"
LOL! Damn cute~

Blah, after that, got home & yeah.
Boring boring boring day.
Heard that there's no BBFin tutorial tomorrow.
Means, I'm going to school for two hours?
Oh yeah yeah yeah. xDDDDD~
Life rocks my socks. =D

But after school, what am I supposed to do. -.-"
Aww~ Oh well. Life is just the same ~ =(
& I need Thumbdrive!! Roar.
& I'm going to work on Fridays. :D


&&, I really want to talk to him.
Sighed, but when I opened up the conversation,
all I saw in the conversations,
was the past history stated there.
& all he replied was one word one word.
Sighed. I don't know to talk to him anot anymore.
I'm so afraid he will say all the harsh word again.
But, I really miss him.

Will things turn out fine as time goes by?
Will things still be the same again?

We had gone so far,
why should we let it all go this time?
I really don't understand.
Nothing matters anymore,
except you.

You're killing me.


I always forget to forget you.
我不想忘记你


9:51:00 PM







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Hello. :D
I'm just back from lanshop & smelly toufu. :D
It was so nice that Weijing & Shanyuan came to find me. =D
Brought little boyboy out for a walk & he kept shitting. -.-"
So after that, they decided to go for lanshop for CS. =)
Played a few games of it, & we got bored.
Then we played Viwawa. :D
Got bored again~
Then played CS again. =D
There's one time, they vs me. =/
Shanyuan kept killing me can~
He still says he don't go to lanshop.
Bluff people one ~

We played till midnight, then we head over to smelly toufu. =)
Don't understand why Shanyuan felt it's smelly. =(
When the taste is really really great you know! =/
Yay, got home~ & I gave brother & sister-in-law the toufu. =/
Oh well, since they won't get to eat it & they don't know where is it. =D

Oh yeah, just restock all my stationary & fulscaps with Amanda in the afternoon.
& all I needed now, was my thumbdrive. =/
Should I get the 2GB or the 4GB or the 8GB one?
I just realised, I haven't been holding a pen to do work,
for so so so so so long, & now holding a pen feels really weird.

I'm searching for a job on Friday, Saturday & Sunday. :D
Who wants to hire me? =D An weekend job. =)
I'm like losing my purpose in life already.
Life is so meaningless. =(
School is really boring. =/
Ahhh, kill me.

SCHOOL TOMORROW.
ROAR ROAR ROAR.
I STILL CAN'T SLEEP. =(
It's already 1.05am. =(
Though I just reached home.
But still, I can't sleep~
I hope I don't get insomnia tonight again.



I still miss him.
Missed his call last night,
cause I was really knocked out.
Haven't been sleeping for two days. =/
& I don't know how to return the call.
In the end, I still did. =)
But sigh, I still miss him.
Really miss him.


This is my last day of holiday. =(
I want to have more holidays.
But FAT HOPE~
Roar.


12:46:00 AM







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Sunday, April 20, 2008

I miss our late night calls.
I miss you.


2:18:00 AM







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Saturday, April 19, 2008

Tell me, why things always got to be so true at the same time.
I was sleeping, & dreaming away. My fear took over me.
& I woke up, my blog was playing the last song - Hua Ti.
The stingy pain that suddenly strike across the heart.
& just as I sat in front of my computer,
he went online too,
at the right timing.

This kind of chemistry that I couldn't find it in any other one.
Perhaps, he do have such chemistry with others,
that's why the things in me that I found in him,
was nothing compared to him.

Anyway, I should stop myself from thinking.
So yeah, went out with Rainer for shopping. :D
He buys me a bag for polytechnic use as present. :D
Pa, thanks so much. =)

We went to arcade, & we were watching Midnight Tune. =/
Or whatever it was called, just some driving machine.
Then, I saw Cheeren, but didn't know if it's him.
Sms-ed him, & then he turned and saw me. LOL!
Next, we walked to Penisula Plaza. :)
& he got secret wish as my present. :)
Thank you so much too !!
He wished me happy birthday,
but I got a unhappy birthday,
how to be happy. =(
& yeah, cabbed home after that.
& I got home & sleep till I woke up with that fear. Sighed.

You know, speaking about stationary,
I need to dig out all my stationary now. =/
I don't know where the hell is all of them though.

& Rainer pa kept saying that he don't have to use stationary anymore. =/
Rp is good in a way, because they don't have to waste papers.
& now, where's all my fulscaps & stationary !
Roar you~

I wondered, what do polytechnic girls bring in their bags?
I can't imagine anything to placed inside my bag.
Except some lectures notes, pencil box, make up & perhaps PSP? LOL!
I don't care, I'm that vain.

I'm still wondering should I get a PSP,
Lijie's PSP is still with me now. :D Fun~
Got to return it to him soon. :)
But I wanted to play Harvest Moon & FFX,
but I don't know where to find the game. =(
Anyone wants to be nice, & share?

Mum is really damn irritating,
kept nagging and nagging and nagging.
When can I get out of all these shits.
Hell. I'm already not in the mood already.
She gives me more irritation.
Sighed. Kill me.

Don't think I want to sleep tonight.
But if I don't sleep tonight,
means I haven't sleep for three days ?
What the heaven, that's nice.
But, I really don't want to sleep my last night away.
It's such a wastage you know !! =/

Brothers are away from the room,
& I'm going to have the room all by myself tonight.
So I can do whatever I want now. =D
Don't sleep!!~ But it's not I don't want to sleep.
I really really want to sleep,
but I had been suffering from insomnia,
& I couldn't take it anymore.
It's getting really frustrating when you kept waking up.

& since I have got nothing on tomorrow,
I shall see what I can do for my last day of holiday. =(


说谎伤害
都是不安犯的错
怕抱不紧什么

我如何假装
我心里不再有你
沉溺后清醒
你却是异常的平静
习惯慢慢失忆
这样就能转移自己

在爱与不爱间
来回千万遍
哪怕已伤痕累累
我也不管

是我想太多
你总这样说
但你却没有
真的心疼我
是我想太多
我也这样说
这是唯一能
安慰我的理由

我想我没有错怪了什么
虽然你不说都是错在我
太晚我才懂爱了你太多

这感觉已经不对
我努力在挽回

如果说爱,
已不可谓。
那我宁愿藏心里面,
其实我害怕会失去你的感觉。
怎么会开始对你有了感觉。

爱不爱结果都叫人伤心,
我不知道该怎么做决定;
分手应该是要先哭泣,还是先忘记.
你是否也有相同的难题,
你的勇气里有我的命运,
我不知道你会不会决定.
我想我现在还不够清醒,
该爱着你,该离开你
,还是继续--逃避

我不配


Still don't understand myself.
He treated me so well,
but yet my heart was still with you.
Was this few months been a joke of your life?
Sighed.

After the whole damn thing,
it's like losing a friend & a loved one.
Stopped contacts with both of them,
I don't know how long will this thing last.
But I know, my conscience is cleared.
& it's just impermanence,
problems come and go.
But if things remains this way still,
I lose my faith & my hope.


Was everything meant to be this way?



The dream that don't come true.


10:16:00 PM







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Hi,
I had changed my blog song again.
It's into my playlist again. :)
But I had added a few song into the playlist. :)
Though I haven't sort out the song though. =)

Anyway, I was at lanshop last night,
& there was this person, who had the same liking of songs,
his playlist was almost same with me, all the songs he listened,
I do listened. :) & the best thing was, at that time,
my speaker was spoilt, so I can only listen to his. :D
& his playlist just sounded almost the same with mine playlist.
So there wasn't any difference. :) But I couldn't make out who was it,
I kept looking back to see who was the one, but couldin't find it. =(


By the way, did I mentioned that I had got my timetable?
I have no school on Friday, yes completely no school. =)
& thursday was crap, my lesson starts from 2pm to 6pm,
I will rather it starts early & end early instead of starting late & end late. =(
So yeah, the worst day of all was on Monday. :)
School is ending at 6pm for both Monday & Thursday. =(
Life is oh so wonderful~ =(

Anyway, I got to get myself a weekend job.
Don't think I will be back at Oriental anymore.
Yeah, due to certain circumstances.
I don't want to involve in complication matters there.
Many people missed the past, miss the place where everyone was great. :)
But oh well, things do change sometime yeah. Impermanence.


I haven't sleep yet.
I remembered chatting with Mao & guys while waiting for sunrise.
& then we decided to go to sleep, & by the time I woke up, the sun rised.
& I slept for only 2 hours? & now I had a little nap, just another one or two hours. =(
I feel really energetic, I don't feel like sleeping. But my head isn't feeling well. =/
Contradicting. It don't make sense. But I really felt that way.

I wanted to go Sentosa with Phantos,
but nobody was going. =(
I mean, my group of friends are not going. =(

Here's the cheer for Phantos, cute~

We say P, is for POWERFUL,
We say H, is for HWANDERFUL,
We say A, is for ACTION PACK,
We say N, is for WE'RE NO FOOLS,
We say TOS, we gotta toss you out,
we gotta toss toss toss toss toss you out,
we gotta toss toss toss toss toss you out,
we gotta toss you out!!

& the main committee countered our cheer, even cuter.

We say P, is for PiPaGao,
We say H, is for Herbal Tea,
We say A, is for Astrepsils,
We say N, is for We no voice,
We say TOS, we gotta Turn Off Sound,
We gotta turn turn turn turn turn off sound,
We gotta turn turn turn turn turn off sound,
We gotta turn off sound!!

So yeah, changed my plan to go Funfair with Madeline, Andrina & Evelyn.
But in the end, I didn't go cause they are going for awhile. =/
So yeah, in the end I had no plan & went to sleep.
Then later, I'm meeting Rainer for shopping. =D
& then meeting Raymond for dinner.
LOL, I just found out, I'm meeting the Rs' people. =/



No point.
Tears will stop one day.
Feeling will go one day.
& life will still go on one day.
Moved along.


2:43:00 PM







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Sighed. :)
I don't know what I'm supposed to feel anymore. :)
& hello earthling, it's atrocious for today.
For what reason, I don't know.
Orientation was so "great".
But I had gotten my matriculation card.
& yeah, it was damn atrocious. :)

Anyway, after that, my battery went flat,
& I got no phone to contact anybody.
In the end, got my handphone charged a little,
& met up with Weijing & Shanyuan. :)
We had our Smelly Toufu. :)

Next, we headed for lanshop for some CS. :D
& Lijie with friends joined us.
Damn crazy, I kept shouting. -.-"
It's just my natural reaction. =/

Next, Daniel reached & we played Cabel.
I kept leveling up. :D & I had gotten my aura. :D
Mine was the ice aura, nothing much. =(

After awhile, I wanted to go to Vicky's house,
but it rained really really heavily.
Initially, I wanted to leave, but Lijie told me it's raining heavily.
Then I slacked for awhile, & I went out to see the weather,
when I was looking out from the clear sliding door,
I was so happy, cause it looked like it wasn't raining.
& then, a lightning flashed across the sky. =.="
I saw everything so clearly in that few seconds,
it's raining really really heavily. =.="

& I got so sighed, & went back to watch Lijie played battlefield.
Then Daniel got tired, & decided for some supper.
He did a lot of stupid things while he was driving.
He stopped at the taxi stand, & do all the stupid things.
& he drived really slow & stuffs, damn cute ~
& he too, kept driving around and around Bugis for so many rounds.
I wanted to alight at Bras Brasah, but he kept overshot the place.
Guess he was really really too tired. LOL!

Yeah, so I'm at Vicky's place currently. :)
The others are playing computer game & mahjong.
I'm really really so bored. =(

Alright, school is starting soon.
& tomorrow is the last day that I can sleep late. =(
Life is so meaningless. Everything had come to an end.
School had started, & holidays had ended. =(
No more of hanging out late,
no more of staying up late?
I don't know. =/
I still couldn't adapt to those timing to sleep early.
Kill me please please please. =/

Alright, I should stop here.
I really don't know what to blog at all. :)



If he cares, he would have contacted me.
I had thought it through.
The things that happened,
it takes two hands to clap.
On my side, I was really insecure,
& that he didn't give assurance.
& that, the things said was too coincidence.
I don't know how much he bothers,
but I know, I really give it my all.
I don't have to say anything,
he should know himself.
If he didn't realise it,
then oh well...

& yesterday, the harsh words said,
good enough. Torn.


Sighed. What's more?


5:28:00 AM







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Friday, April 18, 2008

Guess, I will take it all.


Hello.
It's 12am.
I'm still so bored.
& school is starting.
I just wasted a day rotting at home.
& yeah, just some day that you wish to be alone.

I had a lot of plans to do,
but didn't really do it after all. =/
I guess, I'm just procastinating.
Mind you, I had been really lazy these days.

I supposed when school starts,
I will change to a good student.
But still, I'm afraid I will be those students,
who will skip school every day. =/
I hope not.

Someone motivate me to study please,
I lost my motivation to study already.
It's been half year since I had studied.
It's been half year since I held a pen.

& I haven't get everything ready.
No Polytechnic bags yet,
no pencil box ready,
no laptop bought yet,
no mood to study yet. =/

Oh well, the holidays are coming to an end.
& I really meant it, it's an end to my secondary school life.
& a new beginning to a new chapter - Polytechnic life.
Well, I hope it's fun, & I hope I gets to click with my classmates.
I'm a Financial Business Informatic students.
Anyway, if you are pondering, why am I making a fuss of my course,
it's just because, I'm an IT student now. =(
I was hoping to be a Business student,
& I thought it's a business course,
but it was under the IIT block.

Sighed, never mind. It wasn't as bad as I thought.
However, many seniors said that it's a tough course to take.
& the intake for this year was 103 students.
That was so much~ =.="

3rd year will be great,
it's full of attachment,
& I love to work. =/
Alright, not to that extent of workaholic,
it's just because, I see money coming in. =D

& yeah, 3 years is going to be tough for me.
Having my own discipline & stuffs.
Learning so many crap things at one go.
I'm so afraid I will drop out of school one day. =/
Because, I'm really losing my own discipline.

& yeah chatted with Madeline just now. :)
Thank you girl. =DD I felt really really better. =)


Anyway, my complexion was getting from bad to worst now.
Sighed, but I'm still suffering from insomnia. =(
It's not I didn't want to sleep, it's just I couldn't sleep.
You see the difference? I bet you do, because I do make sense. =/

Sighed, life had been really that bad lately.
Oh well, I don't know. Couldn't make out any things to say.

I have really a lot of pictures to post.
It's really full of foods & foods.
Anyway, I'm just lazy. =/
I'll see how it goes on Saturday alright. =)

It's 1am. =/
Oh well.
Okaybye.

Smelly Toufu tomorrow. =D
Weijing & Shanyuan, see you. =)
& Lijie, I want my Cabel. =(


I did everything that I could,
but it seems to remain as nothing to you.
I will learn to love myself more.
& stop letting you to hurt me more.
This is it, I need to learn.
To see everything fades,
is this both of us want?
I don't know.



& goodnight.


A million pieces.


12:01:00 AM







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Thursday, April 17, 2008

Come this far,
yet it all went wrong.
Got it all over the last time,
but this time, it was all so fragile.

How can we be so weak,
how can we be so fragile,
Thought we will make it through,
but things went terribly wrong.

It was just an obstacle,
but we were being defeated.
& why do my heart still stumbled,
upon hearing your name.

Lost it all, lost it all,
baby tell me it's all that wrong.
Tell me you never want to let it go.
Tell me we'll be fine.

Don't tell me life still goes on.
Don't tell me that we're putting everything to an end.
I don't want to see us falling apart,
I don't want to see our love becoming memories.

Yes, time will heals us all,
but I don't want to lose it all.
At least, not losing you at all.

你的忍心让我好痛苦。
你真的忍心吗?

我们真的要让一切结束吗?
那我们之间的情感,我们之间的回忆,
我们的默契,我们的一切。
你真的要放手吗?


I still love you.
爱不爱结果都叫人伤心,


8:36:00 PM







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Your words always hurt so badly.
Sighed. What did I do to get myself in such treatment.
I shouldn't have care about you, really.
I shouldn't have talked about you, really.
It hurts really badly.
So badly.


6:06:00 PM







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I kept contradicting myself.
I told myself, I'm fine,
when the fact, I wasn't yet.
I still cry over you.
I was so afraid to lose everything.
Don't understand why it is so difficult to let go,
when I never even own him before.

I wandered, do you know this pain.
Are you feeling the same way as I felt?
Why do I still get emo when I'm alone?
Why can I pretend I was alright in front of everyone?
Why do I cry when the night falls?

I was glad, you called last night.
I miss you terribly bad.
I wanted to tell you a lot things,
but I have no courage.
I wanted to apologise,
but I don't know how to.

Even a call from you can make me happy,
Sighed, guess I really love you too much.
Far too much.

Assurance,
will you still give?



If only, if only, if only...
这感觉已经不对,
我努力在挽回。
IMUETUNKAINSK.


1:14:00 PM







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Wednesday, April 16, 2008



I don't know why,
I still felt so stupid.
I should have trusted him.
But whatever I had regretted now,
I don't know what to do any more.

Just because of I love him,
I became so insecure,
when the more insecure I am,
I was confused & don't know what to do.
& then, I didn't get any assurance,
I got so pathetic.

Guess, I was too dependent on him.
Guess, I was too demanding.
I miss him, but we haven't been saying the affection for quite some time.
& now, he never contacted me at all, I tried to contact him,
but yet, I don't want to disturb him.

I was chatting with a friend about relationships.
& he told me, in relationship, there isn't any perfection.
Perhaps in anything, you will see some flaws in it.
Like their temper, their attitude, their moodswings,
their character, their background, their everything,
in some ways, it's different. But it's still up to both to work it out.
Two hands to clap.

I was feeling really moodless during Mum's birthday celebration today.
I got home after I went for some orientation at TP,
& it was great, my class people started with really shy people,
& I went to rah rah with them. =/ I mean, initially I was really damn moodless,
but they said that, this is the class you have to stick to for 3 years.
& I went, "Oh ya~", so decided to put my emotions on hold first,
& went to disturb all of them, make them open up themselves.
I mean, I don't want to stick with them for 3 years,
& everyone is still so shy with one another right?~

But, once I left the TP,
got myself onto the bus,
& I started crying. -.-"
I really miss him.

I got home,
nobody was home.
I cried upon reading my blog,
& sister-in-law came back,
& I went to the bed.
I cried till I slept.

When I woke up,
they said we are going for Sakae Sushi. :D
It cheers me up alittle, because I been missing Sakae for some time,
but when we got there, a long long queue.
& we had 8 people, their long table was being used up.
& said they will call to update, & we were thinking where to go.
Blah, in the end, brothers decided on Crystal Jade.
There goes my Sakae Sushi. =(

We went to Crystal Jade,
& I was really damn moodless,
but acted I was fine,
since my family don't really know what happened,
& I kept saying "Gekxim~" so frequently & automatically.
I mean, I didn't purposely say it, I just said it so naturally.
& Mum asked why I felt so gekxim through out,
I just said, just gekxim that I eat too much. =/
Does it makes any sense? I hope so. =/

On my way back, I told brothers what happened.
& second brother is heading towards Fengming's house.
So I decided to join them & went to take dad's car.
We were chatting all the way till FengMing's house.
& brother told me, people can only give you that much advices,
& it's me who is going to pick my choice, & it's me going to lead the life.
Whether or not, I had chosen the ways, I have to take up the consequences.
No matter if it's leads me to suffering or happiness,
it's my choice, because I'm the one choosing it.

& he told me a lot about guys,
& he told me a lot about the relationships.
& he just lectured both Fengming & I.
Girls can never be understood, really.

& Fengming told me,
I should salvage it if I want to,
before everything really ends.
But, I don't know how to, I really don't.
& a lot of questions came across my mind,
what if he really really want to let it all go?
Furthermore, he didn't contact me any more.
I have no confidence in myself.

I really miss him.
& why should everything ends,
because of such a stupid thing.
Sighed. After this thing, I believed I will trust him more,
but he had already gave it all up.
So whatever I felt,
it just don't matter,
anymore.

I believed, after this thing,
the later part will be much smoother,
but we had already lost it all.

All I hope for,
was that it's just for now,
but it's a few days that we didn't contact,
it had never happened before.
& now, all I can do was to sit here.
& start reminisce the past.

I really miss the time I always received your calls.
I always remembered my ringtone whenever I saw your name.
& my sixth sense is very strong when I knew it's you on the line,
our chemistry was just that strong.

Without me saying anything,
you knew what I'm thinking,
you knew I'm unhappy with you. =(
Whenever I picked up my phone,
your calls will just come straight,
the timing is just so right.

Sighed,
This month is April,
it's my beloved month,
Things will turn out fine.

School is starting soon,
I will miss you even more.
Sighed. I hope things will be better.

Anyway, I have tons of photos to be posted.
I had been eating a lot these days.
On 14th April, Shanyuan & Weijing & I even went to Sentosa to have a drink,
& it started pouring heavily, best~ -.-" & we got stucked in the bus stop.
We haven't got to Cafe Del Moar, so many obstacles already. =/
But, we still managed to get there anyway. :)

I really have a lot a lot of food pictures. =/
Perhaps, I will post it up soon,
& I should stop thinking of everything.
Things will turn out fine, it will.
I really miss you. Sighed.


Impermanence.


I wondered,
what school will be liked when it starts.
C208, my class =)
I'm on the 13th in the list. :)
I love 13. :)


Anyway, decided to stay home tomorrow.
Yeah, perhaps to do myself some useful things?
Like playing the piano? Or packing my bed?
I'm just so lazy to wake up early tomorrow.
I'm left with only 4 days of pathetic holidays.
& I'm definitely going on Friday,
since I had to get my matriculation card & stuffs there.
& there's Jam & Hop. :)

After that, I will be meeting Shanyuan & Weijing for Smelly Toufu?
Loves~!! & then, perhaps will be meeting Lijie for some overnight cabel time?
I don't know !~ Let's see how it goes on Friday. :D
But still, in another word, I'm left with 3 days of pathetic holidays. =(
School is starting, projects are coming, homeworks are killing.
I'm dying. =(


I don't like school.
Oh well, I'm starting to get whiny.
Pardon me please, because school really sucks. =(
I hope IIT school really proved me wrongly. =(
Because, I wanted to get into Business,
but I ended up at IIT school. =(
Holy smoke~

& I just remembered,
maybe a new blogskin tomorrow?
Oh yeah? =/ I don't know.




Anyway, I terribly horribly miss you.
Sighed.


5:43:00 PM







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I really really miss you.
I miss your calls.

I love you.


You're killing me slowly.
I still don't understand everything.
I want to contact you,
but, I'm just afraid.

I acted I was fine,
when the fact I wasn't at all.
Upon seeing you, the fact that everything was gone,
I wanted to cry, but I acted I'm alright.

You think I'm fine?
No, not at all,
at least, not any more.

Thought things will be better when you school reopen,
but, I went to find troubles myself,
I hate myself. Sighed.
& now, I can only watch things slip away.
Everything becoming a memories.
& you telling me life still goes on.

Life still goes on,
but it's hard to go on.

I really wish you will salvage everything,
at least for once, for last time.
But, sighed.


The sweetest seveteen - tarnished by myself.


7:16:00 AM







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Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Sighed.
I had been too trusting.
Too trusting & forgo the fact that there are lies at times.
& knowing me well, you should know I had always trusted everyone.
Whether it's a lot or a little, I will still trust them.
However, this word - trust, had been misused many times in my life.
This year was such a happening year,
everything revolved around the trust thing.
& I never learnt my lesson, kept trusting every single one.
This is what we called, too naive & never learnt the mistake.


& I went to see my nuffnang.
They haven't been giving me advertisment.
& then I saw the hits of my blog, was that scary. -.-"
It hit 79 unique reader & it's my first time getting that high.
I wondered, was it because a lot people like to see me sad. =/
But oh well, at least you care to read my blog & helping me to raise my hits.
But nuffnang, didn't give me my advertisment yet. =(


Last night, I was using my sister-in-law's laptop.
& I turned the armchair to the side, & start reflecting.
But you know, I ended up sleeping on the chair. =/
& when I woke up, I saw his MSN message.
& I went to check my phone,
it was just a few minutes ago. =/
That's why I always say, he called at the right time.
& that I knew the mo qi between us, was really that just nice.
=/ Sorry for using hanyupinyin, because I really don't know what's mo qi in english.
I asked Liangjian what's mo qi, he said it's chemistry. What the. -.-"


Alright, from now onwards,
I will clarify things before I start believing.
If people wants to lie, time will show.
You know I found this current issue,
really very stupid. =/


But, he still can easily let us go.
Sighed. I still felt so helpless.
It's not because of quarrels,
it's not because of any other things,
we ended everything because of stupid things.
So many months already, we will work things right.
& we won't really bottled up anything,
anything just say out those.
Alright perhaps sometimes I will bottle,
but after few days, I will still say it out.
I don't know why, but I'm very comfortable to tell him anythings.
Even if I have things to ask, I will dare to ask.


I understands I'm a very insecure girl,
now I knew why insecurity kept coming up,
just because we love the guy too much.
& it's because of insecurity,
& that he didn't give assurance anymore.
Sighed, & so I lost to my insecurity.
& too, lost it all.

Sighed. I still don't understand,
why he can let go so easily.
Sighed. I really really hope you still cares,
because I still do. But do you?
I still miss everything about you.

I shall not blog further,
I don't want to let my emotions go downward.
I just miss you. Sighed.

Watch it fade away?
Watch it slip away?
Sighed. I felt so helpless.
It takes two hands to clap,
why can't everything be worked out?
Sighed.

An end? Over?
Sighed, why~
Tell me it's not.
Sighed.


1:12:00 PM







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I put my emotions to rest for now.


1:03:00 AM







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Monday, April 14, 2008

Fuck. This world is bloody hell unfair to me.

Sorry for my vuglarities,
but I really cannot take it.
I kept crying & crying & crying last night.
But what the hell can I do ?
I don't know what to say.

Both of them are so selfish.
So selfish that I don't know what to do.
I wasn't in the fault, why am I crying over him.
I was still hanging in the mid air,
I know nothing about his side of story.
Just because of my bloody hell mother nags for no damn reason,
we ended the chat so uncertainly. & all I can do was to sit there & cry.
Nothing, I can't do anything. My head was spinning.
I was having a headache.

I just had my birthday.
& all I get for birthday was that.
Was that what it was supposed to be?
You know I wanted to believe in him a lot.
There was so much complication.
He explained it half way. We ended everything.
Yes, every little damn thing.

& being the one to be hurt the most,
& I don't know the truth at all.
Not at all, you know.

I really don't know.
Even till now, all I can do,
was to cry & cry & cry.
I never been hurt so much.
I never been through this much.
I never thought things will end up this way.
I never thought I will regret to trust his friend instead of him.
The insecurities in me, was too much, too much that I really cannot take it.
I really don't know what to do. & all his friend say was that,
he had a girlfriend, they are still together & all the stuffs.
There was so many things to be listed out.
I don't know what to do.
I really don't.

NSK, I really don't know you will be the one,
to withdraw from this complication,
when I'm so hurt all those.
At this point of time,
you wanted to withdraw,
Don't you know that it's already fucking hurt.
Furthermore, it hurts more is because,
I hanged in the mid air, listening halfway,
& then everything was gone so suddenly.
I have got so many things to ask you.
I wanted to know so many things.
I wanted to know the truth.
At least if it really wants to end,
not this time to end, at least not yet.

I really don't know how to blog any more.
My tears kept flowing. I really had hard time to stop it.
Can someone just bloody hell help me stop it.
Why the two of you can be so selfish.
When the pain they gave was for me, & I should stop bother.

Why did I stucked myself in such a complication?
Why did people start telling me about his girlfriend issue?
Why did people start saying that they are speaking the truth?

& even if you are the one telling the lie,
trying to cover up yourself,
I tell you, I really wish you tell me the truth.
Even if what you said a few hours ago,
I will believe it, I really will.

But things already happened till this way,
there's no point for you to lie or what now.
I just wanted the truth, I really wanted it.
Whether you having your girlfriend,
whether whatever he said was truth anot.

I still bloody hell don't know,
why did I ended up myself in such problems.
Why did I started to like you in the past,
why did I got so close with you,
why did I love you so much,
why did I care so much,
& I still don't understand,
why you can just put everything to an end this way.
You never tell me anything, just this way ended.
You think it's fair to me ? No, not at all.

Whatever I had given out to you,
I don't want anything return anymore.
I only wanted to know the truth.

I was so hurt till I couldn't sleep.
I'm still having a bad headache,
but what to do, I really can't sleep.
I kept crying & crying till now.
But you didn't know,
cause I don't want to let you feel troubled,
crying is my problem, crying was my fault,
cause I couldn't take my emotions well.

But I really don't know how to stop it.
I really really really don't.
I don't know if you stlil read my blog,
but I can tell you is that,
I don't want things to end in SUCH way.
So many complication issues unsolved,
& you wanted to step out.

It's not fair to me at all.
You two problems', your brothers problem.
Why must lead me into such problems?
I didn't do anything. I really didn't.
Whatever in the past, I trusted you the most.
Even to an extend of quarrelling with my friends,
even to an extend when all my friends think I'm stupid,
I still trusted you the most.

& now for what fuck,
& I'm getting such treatment from you.
Why you can do things like it doesn't really matter?
Why you can say till you wanted to let everything to an end so easily.
You know, I wanted to let it all go, I wanted to put our three-person game an end.
But I couldn't, I always wanted to let it all go, but I couldn't.
It's so tough on me, it's so hard on me.
But for you, it was so easily.

It's all my fault, cause I fell too deep.
Even when everyone started to tell me it's time to give up,
yet, I kept sinking more & more deeper.
But, at least I wanted to know all the truth,
it's so hard to put everything to an end when things are not solved.
I spent so long crying, my tears don't dry at all.

Even when people tell me to stop blogging about you,
to stop bloody care about you, to stop everything.
But yet, you mattered so much that it's just so easily for me to say about you.
They said I shouldn't blog that I'm so upset about you,
to show that you still mattered too much in me.
Because you won't bloody hell care,
you won't give a damn at all.

But, I really really really don't know how.
I have no one to confide to now.
When your friend told me the things about you.
A part of me believed in him,
but another part of me was wanting to wish things are misunderstanding.

I really really don't understand why.
Why am I still so being so pathetic to hope you care.
Why am I still hoping all these are just dreams.
Why am I blogging about you when it shows so much that,
I'm weak, I'm pathetic, I'm attracting attention.

But what the fuck am I attracting attention,
when I don't even wanted to care others anymore.
I really really really don't know what to do now.
Can someone tell me what to do now.

My heart pain like shit,
My tears flow down like shit.
Everything that I wanted to avoid yesterday,
to tell you and stuffs, because I was really tired.
I wanted to rest my emotions before I started to ask you.
I wanted to rest my thoughts before I start to doubt you.
I haven't been sleeping well lately, & my mind aren't working well.
Yet, the thought of everything has come to an end,
just because of a bloody hell lie,
just because of a bloody hell complication,
just because my mum starts to nag,
& I lost it all, everything, no more.

Why you still can be so wu suo wei.
I tell you, I can't. I really can't.
I don't know from the start,
did you even like me at all.
I don't know from the start,
what you told me was truth anot.

I want to hear your side of story.
I want to know everything.
Right now, it's isn't fair. It wasn't at all.

I really hope you will tell me,
you're the one speaking the truth.
& stop my tears from freaking flowing,
because I really cannot take it anymore,
not anymore.

Can somebody give me a definite answer,
in this complication ! Can you ?

Fuck this world.
It had already been so cruel to me,
all these time, all my life time.
I always ended myself in complication.
For what the hell, tell me for what?

I hope we still talk,
I really hope so.

I don't know what to do.
I really don't know.


Have you ever cared?
Why was it so easily for you to give it all up?
So many things happened this half year,
been through it all, everything & everything.
& now, we have to watch it slip away.
Why you can be so easily to let go?
I really want to fight this complication,
before anythings goes on, even if it's going to end.

I miss so much.
I miss everything in the past.
I miss helping you doing so much too,
just because you are the one I care.
I miss you.

I love you.
Our ending?
Sighed. Tell me, it's not yet.


10:36:00 AM







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Sunday, April 13, 2008

Hello,
it's my birthday today. =D
I'm officially seventeen. :)
& I can officially start reading the magazine seventeen. xD

Anyway, camp is over. :)
& I got my blog changed to a new song. :)
Yeah, I used this song last year during my birthday.
But it didn't really suit last year, I still put it.
yet it suits for me this year, & I still put it too.
Ironic? I don't know.


我知道伤心不能改变什么
那么让我诚实一点
诚实难免有不能控制的宣泄
只有关上了门不必理谁
一个人坐在空荡的包厢里面
手机让它休息一夜
那上千个切掉回忆的画面
眼泪不能流过十二点
生日快乐
我对自己说
蜡烛点了
寂寞亮了
生日快乐
泪也融了
我要谢谢你给的你拿走的一切
还爱你的带一点恨
还要时间
才能平衡
热恋伤痕
画面重生
祝我生日快乐


I never had such a pathetic birthday before, never.
It's my stupidity, that's all. Blame no one. :)


Camp was over.
Everything was over. :)
Felt relieved that one camp is down. :)
There's another orientation which I'm still very indecisive upon going.
So, everything is still not over yet. Tsk. =/
I don't like orientation. I really don't.


& yeah, somethings happened. :)
Don't want to talk about it.
Things just happened without realising.
& it's my birthday, I got to know it just few days ago.
That was just so great, huh~ =)
Well, karma. :)


I had been suffering from insomnia few days.
Birthday aren't that great after all, really. :)
it made me wanted to die. =)

Anyway, after camp, I went straight to SBM for a teeny while, :)
& then went over to Potongpasir MacDonald to look for the girls. :)
Thank you a lot girls. :)

I quickly got home, & went to prepared.
Met up with Eugenecher for awhile,
thanks for the present.
& then I went off for Shanyuan's birthday. :)
NSY!! xDDDD

Yeah, fun, great. :)
Good food ah!
But they damn cute~
Kept trying to match-make me.
*Fainted*

After BBQ, we went to his house. :D
He had such a pretty house now.
& his three dogs are damn uber cute. :)
I got the pictures, perhaps I will blog it tomorrow. :D
They are out drinking! I was thinking to join them,
but I don't drink, so it's kind of pointless. LOL!
So, I'm home. =DDD

NSY, I hope you had a great time today. =D
& hope you have a happy happy birthday on 15th =D
& your WJ & Angel is damn cute. =D
Lucky guy~



I felt really terrible,
like I don't know what I'm supposed to feel.
It's my birthday, I'm supposed to feel excited,
I'm supposed to feel happy, I'm supposed to feel hyper.
But all I felt was, nothing at all. Not a single emotions.

& before I couldn't sleep last night during camp.
Spent my night chatting with Vincent since he's working night shift.
Tiring job !! I will die if I'm supposed to work night shift.
I tried to sleep for a few hours, but I kept waking up.
It was quite bad experience. I got a very bad insomnia.

So I saw Coburn in camp. :D
He was the logistic. :D
I saw Liling, Izak & Charlaine. :D
I saw Jianyong & Belinda. :D
I saw Yiting, Yilin, Tinghui & Yvoone. :D
I saw Jasmine. :D
I saw Jashawn too !!

So randomly in the afternoon, Jashawn came across my mind,
& while I left for home before the whole camp really ends,
I saw Jashawn at the staircase. =/
He's getting cuter. LOL! =/
The memories of being with him,
seemed to get blurrer & blurrer.
I remembered, feeling so upset upon the break up.
But time really helps everything. :D
When things are over, time heals. :D
& now, I'm allowing time to heal mine. :)


Blah, I never felt so angry before.
Well, I don't think I want to say right now.
My mind is really tired now.
I'm both mentally & physically tired.
I think everything was meant to be this way.
Too tired to be bothered already. :)

I deleted a lot of my paragraphs.
I guess, I will blogged it all out tomorrow. :)
Right now, give me a break. :D
I knew what I wanted. :D
No worries. =D

Birthday wish. :D
I haven't thought of it. =/
& yeah, it's going to be the worst birthday ever in my whole life.
Damn. God-damn. Just because of hoping of something that don't come true,
I screwed my sweet seventeen birthday. Damn. Hell.
Ha, I'm that stupid after all. :D
I'll blog tomorrow. =D

More updates from tomorrow onwards. =D


I have a lot of things being bottled up inside.
I just want to rant. Let me scream.
It's was just...
Forget it.


& so, I say byebye! =D
Goodbye!~


I'm still so glad that,
CAMP IS OVER !
Yay-ness !
But, one more coming up.
Tsk, tsk, tsk. I hate you. =(



It was never a happy birthday.
No, not at all.


12:24:00 AM







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Saturday, April 12, 2008

It's over.


5:19:00 PM







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Friday, April 11, 2008

I cried on my way home upon listening to this particular song,
it's just so what-I'm-feeling now. Sigh, I don't know how to say.
Well, forget it.


Anyway, I'm back from the camp,
due to my shoe spoilt & I had to change it,
if not I will be wasting my time there,
without getting to play any game. =/
But still, it's a good thing to spoil my shoe.
I get to come home to bath, to blog,
to slack awhile while others are running around. xD
Yay! But I still love them. :)


Yesterday, I felt crap, really crap.
The game was alright,
but by the night time,
& I felt like going home.
Furthermore, all my friends are all in one group - Komex.
How crap can that be ?? & I was all alone in Phantos.
But I had Mingfei as one of the GLs. :)


So just now in the morning,
we had mass dance & my partner was Mingfei,
yeah, that was so lucky. LOL~
After being all alone in his group,
& then when I had no partner,
of all the male GLs, Niven called him. -.-"
& that stupid Mingfei kept acting stupid. LOL!
Mingfei, if you read this. =/ Not only I say you act stupid hor~
But he was damn cute when he acted as a robot. LOL!
As in really fun to dance with him. =)



So yadah, I'm going back soon. =(
Goodbye.




我任命。


2:04:00 PM







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Thursday, April 10, 2008

I don't know.
Dilemma.
Someone kill me.
It's already killing me inside.

Fallen apart.
Your nonchalent is killing.

Am I wrong from the start?
Sighed. I don't want to believe.


10:40:00 AM







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到底你有没有想过,
我在为谁而哭泣?
我在为谁而痛苦着?
到底我为何要这么伤心?

伤心得让人可怜,
伤心得让人无法自拔,
伤心得让我自己都讨厌自己。

心,就算有那么的抽痛着,
我总是不在乎,
我总是不理会,
但是,我累了。
心,也凉了。

到底有时候,
自己都不明白,
为你付出的越多,
就觉得自己变得越傻。

就算他们告诉我多少,
我总是不想要理会,
总是以为我对你的信任,
是能够不相信他们的话。

但是,那已不是一次两次的事了,
而你的一举一动,让我开始不安。
就算有爱得多么深,
总有一天,
因为你的无心,
让我的真心,
给予你当点心。
而你的忍心,
让我变得死心。

不只何故为何要爱得那么深,
但你总是忍心的不理会我,
而你总是忍心的忽冷忽热的对待。

你是不会明白,
因为现在的你,
只关心那个她,
就连你有那个她,
我却从来都不知道,
不明白这一切的情况。
到底他们讲的话,
是真还是假的?

你总是把一切弄得很美好,
让我开始以为这就是我所要的,
但现在,我明白你忍心对待这一切,
对待我的一切,我明白,这一切都只是场梦。
梦是会醒,而我也要渐渐的明白,
你的心是不再容下我。

每个人,都只有一个心,
而那个心,只能爱一个人,
在爱情的游戏里,游戏规则是只有两人,
如有第三者,那么第三个人,
是得默默承受三个人的痛苦。
徐然我还搞不清初状况,
但是,你的冷漠已足够痛苦着。

你的无奈,让我明白。
你的冷漠,让我空虚。
我的依赖,让你辛苦。
我的无知,让你艰辛。

到底这几天以来,
我要相信的是谁。
我的不安,一直都在增加。
不安的心情,你不明白,
因为你从没有这种感觉过。

你以前所讲的话,
我也开始明白那是激情。
而问题在于我,变得太多情。
县的太过深,县的吓死人。

我讨厌的不是你,
是我自己。
错在我,
太晚才明白,
爱了你太多。

我的不安,
总是害怕,
想像你对他的温柔,
你对她的暧昧。

到底我的心,
为何还要那么得痛着。
不值得了,自己也明白因该放手了。
但是为何,我还有那么一点点地希望,
希望这些只是不安的感觉,
只是不安在作怪。
希望这不安,
一点都不是真实,
一点都不是事实。

你到底有没有心疼我过。
你到底有没有想过不要再那么忍心的伤害?
你到底有没有想过我一直都在为谁而哭泣?
你到底有没有想过我到底为何要把自己弄得这么累?
你到底有没有想过我到底为何还那么执著的爱着谁? 

这一切的一切,
你从来都不明白。
因为你在意的不是我。

以前所对你的谅解,
原来只是自己的无知。

我错了吗?
我不知道。
我,累了。

心痛的感觉,
及时才会消失?
想哭的感觉,
及时才会停止?
眼泪及时才会干?

这几天来所听到的一切,
是骗人的吧?
告诉我,这一切都是玩笑。
可是,我怎么不能够笑?

太爱了,所以太伤了?
是吗?是这样的吗?
是他根本都不关心我,
还是我太强人所难了。


这一切,
我还是不明白。


Why do the fear of going for camp,
will increase the distance between us,
made me wanted to cry?




You will never know how much it hurts,
because you will never see me cry.


12:51:00 AM







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Wednesday, April 09, 2008

跑不掉的命运。。。Oblivious whale...静 says:
hahaha.. talk to hungry lor
跑不掉的命运。。。Oblivious whale...静 says:
he nice guy
跑不掉的命运。。。Oblivious whale...静 says:
hahaha
跑不掉的命运。。。Oblivious whale...静 says:
i sell him to u
跑不掉的命运。。。Oblivious whale...静 says:
want to know his good points?
跑不掉的命运。。。Oblivious whale...静 says:
hahhaahah
wanlingx - 笑容是一种藏在内心的伤害 -4 days to sweet seventeen heaven- says:
LOL
wanlingx - 笑容是一种藏在内心的伤害 -4 days to sweet seventeen heaven- says:
OKAY LO
wanlingx - 笑容是一种藏在内心的伤害 -4 days to sweet seventeen heaven- says:
say his good point
wanlingx - 笑容是一种藏在内心的伤害 -4 days to sweet seventeen heaven- says:
LOL
跑不掉的命运。。。Oblivious whale...静 says:
nice
跑不掉的命运。。。Oblivious whale...静 says:
he is a nice guy
跑不掉的命运。。。Oblivious whale...静 says:
finish
跑不掉的命运。。。Oblivious whale...静 says:
ahahahahahahha



Liangjian really cannot make it. =/
He's just full of crap ! =/
LOL! I thought he had loads of good thing about Raymond,
But, in the end, he only stated - nice. LOL!
See, Raymond !! Liangjian don't like you,
he can only say that you're nice. xDDDD


Tiao bo li jian. xDDDDD
*Laughs*


10:00:00 PM







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Tuesday, April 08, 2008

It's already coming to 6am,
& I'm here, hoping to blog another entry.
I guess, I'm just the only dumb person,
who don't sleep at night & do all the stupid things,
like doing nothing at all, just staring into empty spaces.

Anyway, I can't believe it is going to be mid April soon.
& the best thing of all, my piano examination is coming too.
I hardly played my piano now, I only wanted to procastinate.

Don't ask me how I spent my 6 months of holidays,
it's nothing meaningful, you won't want to know. =/
I can't believe that I wasted 6 months of my life.
Oh my goodness.

I can't regret anything now,
because time has been slipping away,
& I can hardly grabbed it tightly any more.
I kept losing track of time,
I don't even know if it's Monday, Tuesday etc.
I don't even know when it's a public holiday,
& when it's a important birthday or what so ever.
I hardly remember things now.
I guess, my brain is rotting. =/
I hope it doesn't grow mushroom inside though. =D

I don't feel like sleeping,
the cool breeze is sweeping across my face now,
& the air was so fresh that I don't want to stop breathing.
Alright, I have no choice but to continue breathing though.

Life hasn't been really going smoothly for me.
Been having a lot of issues with friends, him...
Things happened between friends,
I don't know why. It just all happened,
& I don't want to think back any more.
Like I didn't know things can turn out that way.
Was that meant to be a blessing in disguise?

Things happened between me&him,
was partly my fault, the insecurity & stuffs.
I shan't go into details about it,
because it's the things between the two of us.
Things happened for a reason.
I kept strongly on my perspective of faith,
but it kept losing me.
& now, Idk.


Alright, mum's alarm clock kept ringing.
I ought to off computer & try to sleep.



Okay bye.


5:54:00 AM







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Monday, April 07, 2008

BOTAK JONES =D







I don't know if you guys can read, but it's damn cute. LOL~!


Salmon Fillet, left a teeny weeny bit of salmon there. XD


Liangjian's Chicken. =D Half-eaten.

Grandlink's little kitten, damn adorable.
& she sit there looking at me for the next 5 minutes.
While, I sit there to look at her for the next 5 minutes too.
I wanted to approach her, but she got scare & runaway. =(
She's even cuter than my little boy. xD
Don't tell my boyboy alright. =D

Brother was drunk & he suddenly fell down from the sofa. =/
& he slept with boyboy. :D So sweet huh!
Don't say I'm a bad sister, I did try to lift him up to the sofa.
But well, I still cannot take his heavy weight. xD
So yeah, being a good sister, I took his pillow for him. =D
& lifted his head & rest his head on the pillow. =D

Ended up, Boyboy slept on the pillow,
while my brother's head getting lower and lower from the pillow. =.=




Home the whole day.
I was supposed to get my pay today,
but I was so lethargic that I decided to forget about it. =/
Guess I was just so lazy you know. =/
Been having few hours of sleep lately,
& I don't want to get sick.


Accompanied Sister-in-law for a hair cut at some random shop,
& I still thinks Chapter Two rocks big time. :D
I'm like advertising for them. =/
But it's true!!


I wanted to play WOW just now,
but my damn computer is so laggy lag,
& it's pissing me off. =(
When I had logged in,
came that damn error. =(
I hate my computer.
I really want to format it. =(


But, why am I so lazy. =(
The laziness in me is getting out of control.


& my hair is damn smooth now,
even smoother than the time when I had really long hair,
I love my hair so so so so damn much =D
I wanted to rebond my hair,
but the ends are so straight,
I see no point in rebonding it.
& my hairstylist said he don't recommend either.
Sighed, no reason for me to rebond. =(


I was out with sister-in-law to cut her hair,
& then when I was walking home from the carpark with my brother & sister-in-law.
There was this group of people sitting at my house downstair's coffeeshop.
& they were looking at me from the staircase till I reached my house's lift.
So my brother was sensing some insecurity about me.
He said, if I see those guys again, try to avoid. =/
He was afraid that I will get into troubles. LOL!
& seriously, I never do anything, I just walked past them. =(


Then I told my brother about the incident that happened two days back,
about the guy using his damn car blocking my way. LOL!
& he told me, I should tell him, "Sure, you can come up my place & have a drink."
& bring him back to let my brother settle him. LOL!
That was just so random. My brother is forever acting cute. LOL!


& I haven't been writing my blog in proper english,
it's so screwed up. =/ Pardon me for my loser english standard now.
Compared to the past, I think my current english standard really cannot make it.
I'll try to write like the past. :) Since school is starting soon. =(
I have to tune back back to school's feeling.
I haven't even get myself prepared for school yet.
School life is just so upsetting. =(
I aren't even ready for school yet. =(


Leave.


Everyone is starting school, including him.
I don't know if it's a good thing or not,
because I knew.....
I deleted everything,
& left the dot dot dot. =/


I see money tomorrow,
I hope I wasn't too lazy tomorrow again. =/
Someone kill my laziness. :D

& I think I want to join Dance as my CCA.
Then I can lose all my fats. =D
Yay! :)



Few more days, do you even care?
I still don't understand, what am I hoping for?




Goodnight/Goodmorning.
If only, if only, if only...


6:31:00 PM







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Oblivious whale...静 says:
so if ur bday is 18.. then its sweet 18?
wanlingx - 笑容是一种藏在内心的伤害 -6 days to sweet seventeen heaven- says:
LOL NO LEH
wanlingx - 笑容是一种藏在内心的伤害 -6 days to sweet seventeen heaven- says:
sweet eighteen meh
wanlingx - 笑容是一种藏在内心的伤害 -6 days to sweet seventeen heaven- says:
sweet sixteen
wanlingx - 笑容是一种藏在内心的伤害 -6 days to sweet seventeen heaven- says:
& sweet seventeen only mah
wanlingx - 笑容是一种藏在内心的伤害 -6 days to sweet seventeen heaven- says:
OLD eighteen
wanlingx - 笑容是一种藏在内心的伤害 -6 days to sweet seventeen heaven- says:
XD
Oblivious whale...静 says:
rotting 19
Oblivious whale...静 says:
hahahaha
wanlingx - 笑容是一种藏在内心的伤害 -6 days to sweet seventeen heaven- says:
LOL!!! OMG! LIANGJIANNNNNNNNNN
Oblivious whale...静 says:
decomposed 20
Oblivious whale...静 says:
dead 21
Oblivious whale...静 says:
hahahahahaa


He always so L-O-L one !
Talk to him, you will die.
Dead from vomit blood~ xDDD
Forever random crap. LOL!


5:42:00 PM







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Oblivious whale...静 says:
cos geylang area ma
Oblivious whale...静 says:
hot spot for hooker to wave at peep to stop car
Oblivious whale...静 says:
then they also wear short short one
Oblivious whale...静 says:
ahaha
Oblivious whale...静 says:
long hair.. make up many many
Oblivious whale...静 says:
so probably u look like one of them lro
Oblivious whale...静 says:
probably see u 有料 so stop by and ask
Oblivious whale...静 says:
hahahahaha
Oblivious whale...静 says:
see.... so late go home.. tsk.. dangerous..
wanlingx - 笑容是一种藏在内心的伤害 -8 days to sweet seventeen heaven- says:
NO LEH
wanlingx - 笑容是一种藏在内心的伤害 -8 days to sweet seventeen heaven- says:
NOT YTD LEh
wanlingx - 笑容是一种藏在内心的伤害 -8 days to sweet seventeen heaven- says:
IS YTD YTD
Oblivious whale...静 says:
isit....
Oblivious whale...静 says:
k lor
wanlingx - 笑容是一种藏在内心的伤害 -8 days to sweet seventeen heaven- says:
I at BUGIS somemore
Oblivious whale...静 says:
hahaha
wanlingx - 笑容是一种藏在内心的伤害 -8 days to sweet seventeen heaven- says:
infront of my house
wanlingx - 笑容是一种藏在内心的伤害 -8 days to sweet seventeen heaven- says:
-.-
wanlingx - 笑容是一种藏在内心的伤害 -8 days to sweet seventeen heaven- says:
i wrote there whaaaat
Oblivious whale...静 says:
oh ya hor
Oblivious whale...静 says:
hahahaha
Oblivious whale...静 says:
fine
Oblivious whale...静 says:
hahahhaa
wanlingx - 笑容是一种藏在内心的伤害 -8 days to sweet seventeen heaven- says:
u nv read properly
Oblivious whale...静 says:
shit
Oblivious whale...静 says:
hahaha
wanlingx - 笑容是一种藏在内心的伤害 -8 days to sweet seventeen heaven- says:
LOL WAT THE HEAVEN LO
Oblivious whale...静 says:
no excuse to ask u go home early


I never wear shorts that day !!
LOL See, I wrote in the post it's yesterday,
means it's yesterday yesterday when I blogged the post yesterday,
& I wrote I was in front of my house,
but LiangJian said I'm at Geylang area. LOL!

SEE! HE NEVER READ PEOPLE'S BLOG PROPERLY ONE !
Misinterpretation~ Tsk tsk tsk~


& I was still laughing at the gun made in China one. LOL!
Liangjian, you should know what I meant. XDD!
Damn damn damn random lah~


BOO you~ =/


5:32:00 PM







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=P I still love to stick out tongue. =P


So yeah, today had been really great.
Since I slept at really late time,
& then realised it's already so late,
& that I'm meeting Liangjian for Botak Jones. =D
He owe me one treat, for what reason,
I aren't saying. xD

Liangjian, don't be sad,
your daddy loves you. =D
LOL!


So early in the morning,
I woke up! Yes~ !!
Bathe & Liangjian fetch me all the way to Toapayoh.
It's like damn damn damn inside of some ulu ulu place. =/
Lucky we have Xiao Hong, if not we will have to walk all the way inside.

So blahblahblah, I ordered the Salmon Fillet,
while he had the chicken one.
& after eating happily,
I just realised I haven't take picture. =/
& I'm left with that pathetic little piece of Salmon there. -.-"
But the Salmon is damn fabulous I tell you!!

Pictures will be uploaded tomorrow,
since I'm using my sister-in-law laptop now.
So I can't upload my pictures to my computer yet. =(

&& Liangjian's chicken damn nice nice !
& I thought the serving was small,
but it's quite filling though. =D
After I had my Salmon for very long long time,
I ate really really really long. =/
Since they say the longer we eat,
the more filling we felt,
& so my lunch lasted me till supper. LOL!
I just had my maggie mee before blogging. =)

Blah, after that he fetched me to Grandlink,
& I played worldofwarcraft with Dickson.
Like finally, it's leveled up LOL!
It's been some time since Ii heard from them,
that it's level 66 though. LOL!
& it's like stucked there for so long,
now I can listen to a new number. =D

Blahhh, I kept sleeping in the lanshop. =/
I'm tired alright, tired!! =/
So blah, I went home really early.
& I slept slept slept till 12 am. -.-"
I told you my clock is screwed up.
& now, I'm feeling so energetic when I need to wake up at 10am later.
So, I don't know if I will be able to wake up early though. =(
10am you know ! I'm going to get my pay from Kasco. :)
But, I'm going all alone. So poor thing right. =(


I remembered yesterday incident clearly.
There was this guy, who stopped his car in front of me,
yes right in front of me, blocking my way.
& then he started to say, "Miss, where you going? I can drive you there."
When the fact is that, my house is just right infront,
& that damn person blocked me from crossing the road.
Drive, drive your head lah, drive me there.
& I ignored him, & walk in front,
& he started to drive in front a little.
Go & die can can can~

& he said, we can make friends whatever shit,
like as if I'm interested to make friends with you.
& I went to walk behind his car, =/
I was so scare he going to reverse & banged me. =/
But well, he just kept looking, & I crossed the road,
& he drives off. =)

Damn angry, I wanted to cross the road,
that damn person drive in front of me,
like for what the heaven, still say what drive me there,
drive your head, when I had already reached my destination,
& he's the stupid idiot who blocked my way. -.-"

& ah, not like I went home later at night or what,
it's was so early please~ =/
So Liangjian, you can't say that I shouldn't go home late. =X
It was quite early at that time !!


& brother is currently facing problems with his girlfriend.
Sighed, relationship is so complicated.
We always tend to not able to let go,
even though we know, we ought to.

6 years of relationship compared to a 8 months one,
which one will you preferred?
A relationship which has so many downs & quarrels,
& the guy did hit her once, will you still choose the shorter relationship one?
I can never tolerate a guy hitting a girl, no matter how angry the guy is.
My brother told me, being a guy, it's the basic knowledge that,
no matter how angry they are, you can never slap a girl.
But, it's always the emotions, the feeling, that held us strong,
& we tends to forgive the mistakes the one we loved had done.

But 6 years you know ! It's so damn long,
the feeling, the memories, the habits,
you had already gotten used to it.
But, I still felt that my brother is the better choice.
You know, he said, that day when he was about to open our house door,
his girlfriend's bestie called,
& he heard someone crying behind,
So he went all the way to find her you know.
& when she was sick, he took urgent leave to accompany her.

I think it's better to choose some one who understands you better,
some one who will be there for you when you needed,
some one who do so many things for you.
But after all, I think I understands her,
6 years of feeling, it's so hard to let go.
But one day, she will have to.

I guess when comes to relationship,
when it comes to feeling,
we have to follow our heart,
because we can't follow our eyes any more,
since we had been blinded by our emotions.
But if a relationship kept having a down periods,
kept having quarrels & stuffs, no point.
We will all learn to let go of things one day.

& my brother loves her so much,
because she treats my brother very well too. =)
It's just that the feeling, just don't seem to go away.
& it's so sweet to listen to how she treated my brother well. =)

I can't really talk to her,
since I wasn't really close with her like my brother's previous girlfriend.
So, I don't know how to talk to her. =/ I guess she will make it through. :)
& I know, my brother will be there for her to walk this tough time with her. =)
No worries~

Brother had talks with mum,
& I think my mum is feeling very heart pain for my brother.
Like which mother doesn't? When you see your son so upset,
when you see your son so demoralise,
when you see your son doing things he had never done before,
it's obvious that you will be upset.
Even my dad too. =(
I hope brother will be alright soon.

Yadah Yadeee,
I was chatting with Nankeng,
he had been sent to Boy's home before.
& his story sounds so familiar.
& he did it, I hope he can too.
Shan't elaborate. =)
& he was so idiot,
kept betting over nothing. LOL!

School starting soon.
Birthday coming soon.
Orientation coming soon.
Bored bored bored, super duper triple quaduple bored!


I'll see money tomorrow. =D
Roar you bite~


It's 6am now. =/
I need to wake up at 10am.
Best best best ah~
Oh well, I guess I better not sleep then. =/
Then I will be sleeping in lanshop later again. -.-"


Okay goodnight/goodmorning.
& byebye. :D


I hope things worked out for my brother. =)
May the triple gems be with him.
May he be well & happy. =)



6 days to my sweet seventeen. :D


1:22:00 AM







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Sunday, April 06, 2008

Hello. :D

I met up with my Secondary School mates. :)
Ziyou had held an early birthday celebration for me with my close ones.
So Nicholas, Ziyou, Esther & Liangeng came. =D
We went to have a Japanese Buffet. :D
Pictures below, it will make you drool. =/
& I really ate a lot a lot. =/
I'm so going to grow fat. =/

We spent a lot time crapping about nothing.
& we chatted about relationships,
& that two guys really full of shits LOL!
They were damn funny for the whole day.
I think Esther & Liangeng are entertained too. LOL!

After that, we went to play arcade.
& it's been so long since I stepped into arcade.
Played basketball with them & our score was damn pathetic. =/
We got our movie tickets - Untraceable & went to Marina Square to find Xiangyu. :D

Met her for a teeny weeny little while,
we left for movie. :DDD
I was damn bored throughout the show.
the whole show was so draggy that I kept lying on Esther,
telling her, I want to sleeeeeeeeeeeeep !! =/

& there was one part where the police officer told the lady,
that she is to have a week off and go home to meet her family.
& I was like looking at Esther,
"huh! Still one more week, then the show want drag until what time sia?"
Sian diao~ Sian 1/2~ Whatever sian you named it. =/

Luckily, on her way to meet her family,
the torture part came ! Like I'm some sadistic, I'm happy you know!
Not because I find the torturing great, it's just that,
FINALLY THERE WASN'T ANYMORE TALKS. =/
They kept talking & talking, & I was so tired,
so at times, I couldn't catch what they were saying. =/

& finally, the whole show ended !!
Cannot make it ~ =/
The nice part of the whole movies,
are those torturing scene which are so disgusting !!

Next, they went to eat again.
Guys are guys, I was already so full after the buffet.
& they ate so much so that I couldn't believe a guy's stomach can be that large.
So I played PSP there & Raymond called me to go lan. LOL!
Ziyou was on probation, so they have to leave early.
Esther & Liangeng went to shopping, while I went to look for Raymond. :D
Different ways~ I hope we can meet soon !!! =(

Blahhh, we played DOTA,
You know I'm that pathetic,
I kept losing to Raymond. =(

Initially, wanted to join them for night cycling,
but guess, it's better not to. :)

I don't feel like going to Freshmen Orientation. =(
Suddenly, I really really really don't feel like going. =(
Like I'm really not looking forward to camp you know !

Boyboy is scratcing my door,
I closed it just now,
& he needed company at night,
so he kept scratching my door. =.="


Anyway, I should cut down on my typing & do the pictures. :D
Pictures time time time time time~ :D












FOOD!! =DD
Tell me my photographic skill is great. LOL!
Or rather, my phone is so damn great. =/




My besties besties. :)


I had stupid face, so we take again.

Ended up, both also blurred. -.-"




DDW lo! I didn't realise there's this pictures, until I uploaded it.
& I was wondering, what did I do, to look at the table so close. -.-"


Chey! =/ Stupid Ziyou took this stupid photo which I looked so unglam. =/

Hair messy messy. =/ Don't care~



The guys are damn tall. -.-"


Stupid hairstyle when I combed all my fringe down. =/

I love my top's texture. :D So smooth, so silky. =D



& thank you for the presents & treats. :D
LOVES! :)


12:58:00 AM







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____________________________



Siah Hwan Ling
Formerly known as Siah Wan Ling
Sweet 18
13th April 91
Friendster

____________________________


Cravings;

Great boyfriend
Driving License
Diploma in Piano
Iphone 3GS 16GB
Blingbling Iphone Cover
Philip Epilator 3 different caps Cotton On Flowery Dress
Cotton On White Tanktop
Cotton On Blue Stripe Dress
Cotton On Highwaist skirt
Nerdy len-less spectacle
Diana Lomo Special Edition Pink Camera
A weight of 40kg
Zara White/Black Spaggetti
Join a Dance course
减肥减肥!!
FBT orange/Silver/Pink shorts
SugarLink Dress
Nintendo DS Lite Red
Rebonding



Plans;

New Blogskin
Paint my room
Pack my room
Pack my wardrobe
Get a wardrobe


____________________________


Adeline ;AdelineTeng
;Amy ;Andrina ;Ahgurl
;AhMeiJie ;AmandaSim ;AmandaGoh
;
Alvin ;Alyssa ;AJ ;Azizi ;Belinda
;Caiwei
;CharmaineTeh ;Charlotte ;Chenying
;Cherie ;CherieSiah ;CherieTan ;Cherrian
;CherylJie ;Cherise
;ChuFeng ;Clorine
;Deidrrea ;DianaTjoa ;DianaSiah
;Dion ;Dolly
;Eddie ;EngHuakor
;
Elaine
;
Esther ;Evelyn ;FeliciaAng
;
FeliciaKang
;
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;
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;
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;
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;
Jen
;
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;
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;
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;Junpei
;KaiwenJie ;Kaiwen ;Kianchong ;Kimpeng ;Laura
;
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;
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;
Loves
;
Mabel ;Madeline ;MaryAnne ;Meng ;Mingfei ;Moggallana
;
Pearson ;Peiyi ;Priscilla ;Pris ;Raymond
;
Reuben ;Sarene ;Sariputta
;
Selina ;Sharol ;Sharon
;
Sherman
;
Shervonne ;Shixiong ;Soukuin
;
Stefani ;Tina ;Ting ;Tingting
;
Tohwee ;Victor ;Vincent ;Vivien
;
Wanlin ;Wanling ;Weijing ;Weimin
;
Weiping
;
WeitingJie ;Wencai ;Wenting
;Wesley ;Xianwee ;Xiangyu
;
Xiaohui ;Xinyi ;Xiumei
;
Yichin ;Yiting ;Yilin ;Yinghui
;
Yingting
;
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;
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