Friday, August 31, 2007
I had officially finished my D&T artifact & portfolio !
This is the thing I should enjoy about, I had been suffering over my portfolio for such a long long period. I can finally start screaming that I had gotten back my freedom. Miss Tan wanted each and every one of us to cancel off our name when we hand in our projects. So, I went to cancel and I wrote a big big sentence on the whiteboard, "Freedom, here I come ! " xD
I can officially start my revision from tomorrow onwards. :) I don't know what's my plan for tomorrow but I will definitely start a little revision. I just can't take this fear inside me any longer. I really need to study and I have to study. People, start motivating me now ! Sighs~
I remembered when I was at my workshop, everyone was rushing for time since our deadline is today, 4pm. Everyone were doing the counting down and we kept reminding each other that we are left with 2 hours, 1 hours, 30 minutes... I think it's really funny as you can see everyone starts getting busy ! This is really the first time that I had seen all of us getting busy over something. LOL ! I don't know how many pens I had lost in the midst of the chaos since everyone just started to just throw their pens around. The whole place was so messy that I could hardly pack my stuffs.
I left first and met up with Nicholas, JiaQi, Zhengwei, Dingfeng for Dead Silence. Alright, it's a crap show ! I wanted to watch that rat but, they told me they were watching Dead Silence. So, I got really disappointed. =( Furthermore, it wasn't what I wanted to watch ~ The movie was frightening in the start and I got so bored at the end. Maybe I was the only one who got bored while Nicholas & JiaQi got a shock from certain scene. Aww~ It's about a movie that you can't scream, if you scream you will die. So I kept disturbing JiaQi to remind her not to scream ! LOL ! For the rest of the movie, I did not scream anymore because I was rather affected by the Mary Shawn. It's a good thing after all ! At least when Jianyong starts to scare me again, I won't be screaming away and frightening my poor Bhante. LOL !~
It's Teacher's Day Celebration ! I wanted to self-declare a holiday but the Secondary 4 students have to check their CCA & Testimonials for the one last chance, so I just have to be good and go for school. Damn it~ It's such a waste of my time. Good thing is that I can see many people who I had lost contact for years.
Alright, I'm really really tired. I had slept in the wee hour last night and I had woke up so early for the pratical exams. I got even more hardworking after the pratical exams. I was sneizing every single seconds just to do my portfolio! LOL ! I think I might just faint one day because of my lack of sleep. I think I need to start sleeping early to prevent breakout. :)
Goodnight !
Are you coming back to hurt me again?
I will learn to be more mindful and not be hurt again.
I should be more determined,
I should learn to be more preserverance,
For I just want to learn to not to get hurt again.
P.S: For you freaking idiots, stop thinking that I don't know that you were talking about me. I'm not dumb. Come on~ Stop being childish. Loser. What's past had past, it was you who couldn't let go, not me. Reflect upon yourself before you start criticise others. For your own information, you have no rights to criticise me, yeah especially you... I can be good when you treat me good, but I can be your hell if you try to be funny with me. I'm not someone who you can mess with and get away from it. Know your limits, enough is enough. Get lost~ I'll make sure I'll be more hostile to you when my limits are up. :)
12:00:00 AM
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Hello, I'm back from all the crap shits outside this enclosed area of mine. I'm just feeling so lousy suddenly. I screwed all my papers up ! It was the MCQ and hell, half of them were just done from my instinct. D&T murdered me. Can you believe that I could only do a few questions in that damn paper ? I did study ! Or rather, I spent most of my time looking through the textbook. But whatever I did memorised, it did not come out. I'm so going to fail this D&T paper so badly. I sweared in my whole damn 4 years studying in Manjusri, this is the first D&T paper which murdered me !
In the end, I just do it with my common sense and I finished it within an hour. Great. We were given 2hr 30mins and I finished it within an hour. Next, I tied my papers up and I slept for the remaining time. Damn~ Rachel started to ask me why I finished it so quickly because I just don't know how to do that damn paper at all !
After that, we went to the D&T workshop to do my portfolio. I'm almost done with it. And I had a good laugh over Simon, Eddy, Chenglong & Weiming. LOL ! It was damn hilarious please. They were really crap. I think Simon is really lame nowaday ! I wondered what happened to him ! LOL ! So now, I'm left with the pathetic pages of the portfolio to call it done ! Oh man, I can't wait to finish it ! I want to be free from all this suffering. The portfolio really took me so much of my time that I really want to surrender soon ! I wondered if it could even give me a B3. Sighs~ I wished I could have more time. Sigh !
Once my portfolio is up, I won't be online anymore. I'll be studying all day long ~ =D I shall mark on my calender date, 31st August ! Goodbye my MSN ! I got a blogger job from my brother's friend. :) Great ! It's the right time ! And I shall thank Alwin for spying my blog ! LOL !
I'm back to my portfolio. Damn ~
微笑的面孔
悲伤的心情
你还在乎吗？
11:15:00 PM
1. DSC T-10 Cybershot Pink Camera
2. Anna Sui Secret Wish Perfume
3. 6 'A's for my 'O' level
4. Happiness
5. Great Boyfriend ?
Answer the following questions:
1.(the person who tag you is ...)
Tohwee
2.(your relationship with him/her is ...)
Secondary School Scouts brother. LOL !
3.(your 5 impressions of him/her ..)
Crappy ! He always disturb me when he see me ! He was rather fierce when I first know him. Forgiving, Tends to really encouraging at times. =D He's nice too !
4.(the most memorable thing he/she had done for you)
BOO~ =( Don't seem to LOL !
5.(the most memorable words he/she had said to you)
LOL ! STUDY HARD ah LOL ! ?
6.(if he/she becomes your lover, you will..)
OH NO! LOL! He will whack my head everyday and start disturbing me. =.=" LOL!
7.(if he/she becomes your lover, things he/she has to improve on will be)
LOL ! Change ah~ Change better lo? I don't know improve on what lah~ ROAR!
8.(if he/she becomes your enemy, you will...)
LOL! I'm still alright with him, don't think will turn enemy bah ?
9. (if he/she beomes your enemy, the reason will be ...)
Maybe really nasty to one another ?
10.(the most desire thing you want to do for him/her now is ...)
Talk more ! We haven't been talking for quite some time on msn?
11.(your overall impression of him/her is ...)
Ehh ! He's great !
12.(how you think people around you will feel about you?)
LOL Not being happy with me ? I don't know? Sometimes, I just feel not that great.
13.(the character you love of yourself are ...)
Cheerful ? I just love to make people laugh. :)
14.(on the contrary, the characters you hate of yourself are ...)
Maybe all of it...
15.(the most ideal person you want to be is ...)
I don't know...
16.(for people that care and like you, say something to them ..)
Thanks for everything. I really appreciate every little bit and pieces of all.
17.(pass this quiz to 10 persons that you wish to know how they feel about you)
1. Andrina
2. Liping
3. Irene
4. Huiwen
5. Yiling
6. Tohwee
7. Rainer
8. Weijing
9. Enghua kor
10. Qiulian
(But I had the anti-copy code on. -.-" )
18.(Who is no.6 having relationship with?)
LOL I don't know?
19.(Is no.9 a male or female?)
Male
20.(If no.7 and 10 are together, will it be a good thing?)
LOL! I don't know? Being together is the two person thing, others can't judge.
21.(How about no.8 and 5?)
LOL! They don't even know each other ? Both are girls too !
22.(What is no.2 studying about?)
Simei ITE. :)
23.(When was the last time you had a chat with no.3?)
VERY LONG AGO ! I miss her !
24.(What kind of music band does no.8 like?)
Not sure. =X Weijing, what type ah ?
25.(Does no.1 has any siblings?)
Yeah, one elder brother.
26.(Will you woo no.3?)
LOL ! She's my hao sister. :)
27.(How about no.7?)
He is my papa ! Closest Papa !
28.(Is no.4 single?)
Yeah !!
29.(What's the surname of no.5?)
Pang Yi Ling
30.(What's the hobby of no.4?)
SHOPPING ! LOL! Sing song !
31.(Do no.5 and 9 get along well?)
They don't know each other
32.(Where is no.2 studying at?)
Simei ITE.
33.(Talk something casually about no.1)
She's really really great friend.
34.(Have you try developing feelings for no.8?)
She's CUTE ! LOL ! But I'm not les ~
35.(Where does no.9 live at?)
Old Airport Road
36.(What color does no.4 like?)
I don't know ? Eh girl, what u like lOL
37.(Are no.5 and 1 best friends?)
Err. No?
38.(Does no.7 likes no.2?)
They don't know one another ?
39.(How do you get to know no.2?)
Through Yuanyi marmie~
40.(Does no.1 have any pets?)
No. Used to.
41.(Is no.7 the sexiest person in the world?)
HAHA ! PAPA SEXY ~ LOL
-END-
TOHWEE, I HAD DONE YOUR QUIZ LOL!
10:22:00 PM
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
The Bottom Line
Be kind to all. Don't let doubts about karma stop you from being mindful of it.
In Detail
Not everyone buys into the concept of karma, and that might help explain why you encounter so many people who seem to put treating others with kindness so low on their lists. The good news is that you will probably not be the target of any grumpy comments; however, you'll still be affected by them. Negative people are popping up all over the place -- treat them with kindness, and don't let their skepticism about karma stop you from being mindful of it.
I was really lucky. I only managed to study the one and only topic and it came out. =D ! I'm so blessed ! I love buddha, I love devas & I love Guandigong. =D Physic paper was pretty easy in the Section A but I was killed in the Section B. There goes my 20 marks ~ Sighs ~
After the papers, I did my portfolio in the D&T room and got my Ipod confiscated. -.-" How unlucky can I be. I didn't even know that the machine was on and then for no reason, I was to be blamed too. Sighs ~ Next, I went down to get back my Ipod with Pohleong & Puaychin? Thanks goodness, Simon helped us to get it back. =D We then went to watch the MJR Idol. Sighs, time had passed so quickly, I still remembered the time when I got all nervous and anxious when I joined it. LOL ! But it's all over. =D Anyway, I just wanted to say that, I think the standard of my batch was much better. Yuyang sang really well, Shervoone sang really well, Jeric sang really well. Err, for this year, I have no comments. :)
I joined Andrina & Yinghui for awhile and home sweet home. =D
I'm tired.
Time to catch some sleep.
Goodbye.
Sometimes, I got messed up my feeling with the truth.
All I could tell myself that, it was all over, gone, forgotten...
I just have to learn to move on. :)
Devas, please enlighten me now.
P.S: Justin went to ICU and he was unconscious for two weeks. Hell, I almost lost a friend. He said he almost died because all his organs had failed. My goodness. Imagine I were to lose a friend without knowing at all. I just expected something was amiss because he didn't reply me. And suddenly, I received his message saying that he just woke up and he was unconscious since 12 Aug. -.-" See, this is what I called you will have to treasure your friends, you never know when you will lose them. Please take good care of yourself, Justin ! We shall meet up soon. :)
先爱自己才爱别人，因为这样才不会受到那么大的伤害。
8:26:00 PM
Monday, August 27, 2007
Everything is over ? I don't know.
It's been really dragful. Firstly, I had my Amath and I had lost a great number of marks. Those questions that I expected to be easy, turned out to be a disaster. Imagine the surds being one of the tough question ? That was supposed to be the giveaway questions ! Roars !
Chemistry was really not-what-I-expected. I can't deny that I didn't study for it ! All along, I was doing my D&T and I think I'm going to flunk this prelims because of my damn D&T ~ DAMN IT ~ I think I'm really such a loser you know~ Sighs, I wish I could have be more clever. *Cries*
The moment I saw him, my mood was really down. Yet, I acted everything was alright. :) When I left the D&T room, I didn't want to look back anymore. :) I joined Nicholas, Huiwen, Zhengwei & Keyzin for lunch !~ Initially, I didn't want to join them but they agree on Pastamania, so yeah~ =D Keyzin played with my soup and I sweared it was really disgusting when I drank it. =.="
I came online and he sent me a song, "你不爱我".
I think the lyric suits me more than him.
I hope he's alright now.
习惯被拒绝的人会先拒绝
这一次至少是我先说离别
有一些痛楚看不见泪水有
一种防卫叫做我无所谓
要让你快乐原是我的心愿
可是你从不在意我的伤悲
丢给我一些喜悦的碎屑
却带走我一切
你不爱我
是我舍不得
是我不配
为你在狼狈
你不爱我
你真的不爱我
尽力而为我拼命给也是浪费
你不爱我
是我舍不得
是我不配和命运作对
你不爱我
你真的不爱
我一直以为我是后卫
原来只是那
后备
要让你快乐原是我的心愿
可是你从不在意我的伤悲
丢给我一些喜悦的碎屑
却带走我一切
一直以为我是后卫
原来只是那
后备
I hope life would treat me really well now.
I'm really tired of this shits.
I think he doesn't even care.
So here I am, pretending I don't care anymore.
After all, time will fade all out.
He chose this route,
and I took it as it is.
当一切都是个不能说的秘密
9:28:00 PM
Sunday, August 26, 2007
It's been a day at SBM ! We tried to revive the computer and indeed, we did. Alright, not to the extend that I had revived it, but I did try ! So yeah, it was Hangqi & Jianyong who had revived the computer. =DD But still, I didn't manage to use the computer to print the stuffs because I had forgotten to bring my papers. -.-" Great ~
I was home early ! I got really tired and wanted to have a rest but my piano teacher came. Hell, I was seriously very tired please. Then, I was a happy girl after that. We went to the supermarket and I bought everything I wanted. =X I think I'm so blessed with my mum & dad. They love me ! See, this is what we call unconditional love, no matter what, they will try to make me happy. =D I love my family !~ But yet, sometimes when I get really stress up and they started their nagging, I swear it was the worst time of the day. =(
I'm tired. I'm sleepy but I haven't study yet. GOODBYE AND BYE ~!
Amath & Chemistry papers are really dragful. Sighs~ I hope the papers would disappear by tomorrow and they will start telling us, "I'm sorry but we had lost the exams papers and thus, you will have to retake it on another day. " xD ! Crap~
It's just another day. Time will say it all. For now, I can see for myself, I've done a grave mistake. " There is always a reason behind everything. " It was said by Ryan, he said it when I had the accident. He was one of the people who truly understand the emotions I'm going through and not blame me for everything. Thank you. :) I remembered I used to hang out with so many of them, but everything seemed to be rather distant. Never mind. I don't want to say further anymore.
I had decided to cut out everything from my life - my handphone, my time on msn, my shopping sprees. It's the time to get ready for my O's and I'm not going to flunk it. I had been discouraged by many friends, they said I won't be able to make it at the rate I'm going. Oh well, I can't deny that I had been really procastinating for the past few months. So now, I just have to do what I can. I remembered Pohleong told me that, it's already the time that we can't even hug the buddha's leg now. Great ~ It's going to be a torture for the next 2 months. Hell ~ I'm dead. Damn ~ BYE ~
It's always great to have someone beside you, to tell you that everything is going to be fine. At this point of time, you will know who are the true friends and who would be there when you really needed. They would go to the extent to be there whenever they can. And I really appreciated it, you know who you are. :) Thank you my friends. I had moved on. I had no longer shed any tears anymore. For now, my priority is my studies. Goodbye and bye forever to any other things. I will be cut off from all entertainment now, except my blog. :) Goodbye my friends. This is a crucial period, if those friends who would stay, they would stay. Those had left because I didn't have the time to contact then, then I shall just take it as it is. :)
A early goodbye to those friends. :)
I'm much happier now.
I'm feeling better.
Thank you to all my friends.
Study study study !
I think I should just burn the books and,
drink it. LOL !
I'm drowning from the books. :)
因为了解我无法坚定，
这一次想掉眼泪的决心。
I had learnt,
I had understood,
This is all I had deserved.
Well done.
11:31:00 PM
The tears are always hidden behind the smile. :)
I went for the physic lesson and I think it was quite great, though I was damn hungry. I had a quick bite and went back to SBM but they had already gotten their exam blessing. Great !~ -.-" After the meditation, I went up to use the computer but to no avail. Ivan was really unlucky please, this is the first time he had on the computer and the computer spoilt. So, I was damn worried over my D&T because I need the computer badly. Anyway, I got my dear Amanda for help and she's so great to help me !! =DD LOVES !
Since the computer was spoilt, I went downstair to join them for the sharing about "Ghosts". I guess, I understood why I often have the vision of "them". But, I really don't believe in the scientific ways. How can they be so sure ? Furthermore, I remember reading a news article that there was a house with a playful spirit. "She/He" loves to move the furniture all around the room. They even took the whole incident down in a video. It's not even the first time that the playful spirit played with them. So, what can we explain about this ?
Next, I was doing my D&T upstair and I decided to join them at the basketball court. In the end, it started raining and we had our dinner. =D ! I was starving please ! After the dinner, we went back to have a basketball match. =D My team was great ! And Yinghui's team was great too ! I think Hangqi, YaoZhong & the other two strangers made a great partner. :) Fun~ I want to lose weight. XD ! I hope I had burned off some fats and grow alittle tall. xD ! Alright, fat hope. =.="
I was thinking deeply when he asked me if I want to do the portfolio with him. I don't know if the feeling will start coming back if I decided to meet him tomorrow again. Yet, I really needed someone to assist me in my portfolio. I got stucked in my decision. In the end, he said he will do it at home as I insisted to go to SBM to have my math tuition at 2pm. Amath Paper 2 is coming and I'm not even prepared for it. Damn~ I don't know if I will regret to insist to go to SBM instead of doing the D&T with him till night. But well... I don't know. I don't want to trigger off from this moment now. At least, it wasn't as hurting as the past few days. When I wake up everyday, I will tell myself to move on. Honestly, I had been doing that so the feeling wasn't as strong as the past. Although I know I'm still sad over it but I aren't showing it out anymore. I don't want to affect anyone's mood. I'm sorry, I can't be a perfect friend.
心碎的心情，你。。。明白吗？有时候，我们只能逃避现实，因为我们并没有选择，所以我们放弃。就算我们有多么在乎，就算我们有多么爱你，当现实是残酷的时候，我们没有办法，我们只能选择离开，也许离开会是比较好的选择。时间到了，就因该明白一切都只是一场梦，梦是会醒的。醒了以后就会变得根坚强。在岁月的流逝时，我也在不同的梦醒了起来。担心、害怕、空虚，我什么都尝试过。所以我明白，这不是你的错， 是我的错。因为不明白，所以一次一次的被弄伤了。 现在，我不明白要怎么爱下去。因为当你失去它时，那种心情真的很。。。。痛。
I don't know to laugh or cry when I see you. Sighs.
I had been locking my heart so tightly,
And I couldn't find the keys anymore.
I will be alright soon,
yes soon.
12:55:00 AM
Saturday, August 25, 2007
Enough is enough. Get out of my goddamn life!
It still hurt when I saw him. But things will be better soon. Melissa asked me a question, "Even if you know you are a replacement for him, will you still stay?" I immediately objected the idea of staying. I told her, "I am myself, I aren't her, I can't be and I won't be the replacement." We played in the rain for a while and I really love raining days. The smell, the atmosphere, the timing, it suits everything. Thank you for the rain, it came at the right timing. :)
I met up with Shanyuan & Weijing in the night. :) The dinner at the riverside was great. :) And I got really amused by Rainer papa's message. The way he consoled me was really hilarious. LOL ! I sweared I got better after he console me. :) Thank you for each and everyone who tried to console me and make me laugh. :) I indeed laughed. :) However, for those who tried to go against on me to the extent of adding salt onto my deep cut wound, thank you for trying so hard. Loser. :) Thank you for telling me that I deserved it, and it really dampened my mood. Haa~
I'm still getting over it. :) I had given myself a limited time. But, I'm not saying over here. It's a secret between me, myself and I. Hopefully, I don't break any promises made to myself anymore. Sometime, it's great to be a kid, because the tear in the skin is easier to mend than mending a heart. :) But I had learnt how to go through it, it's not the first time anyway. =D People often have to go through obstacles to learn to grow up. I learnt it the hard way. Things will get easier for me when I fully grow up. Afterall, who doesn't meet with an obstacle ? It's just a matter of time that I needed. Things do change, people do change, feeling do fade... It will be a new me again after I got over it. =D
For now, for whoever who is a hongster,
Just get out of my life.
If not, just be my friends,
and stop hurting girls. :)
Suckers~
有一天，我的眼泪会干。
渐渐的，我也会把你忘了。
就好好的做彼此的好朋友。
The Sweet Escape
1:42:00 AM
Thursday, August 23, 2007
I went to the D&T workshop to finish up my artefact. I was using my phone. Normally like all other days, the teachers didn't catch us and won't be bothered about it. But it was totally different for today. Mr Suhaimi came towards Qiulian & I and demanded for our phones. Sighs, I gave it in the end. And I cried while I started to daydream. Coincidentally, Chenglong walked past and saw. But he didn't care anyway. LOL ! These few days were bad for me because I just kept crying and crying. It seemed like tears doesn't dry up at all. Maybe one day, it will dry up.
Mr Azman was really nice because he kept asking me what happened to me, but I didn't say. I just looked away and cry. =( Aww~ I sound like I'm so weak. But indeed, I'm really weak now. I'm not in the mood to joke around anymore. I tried but I failed. Give me some time and I will be back who I used to be. For now, let me be. Thank you for whoever who cared. :) I really appreciate it greatly. Sighs, I'm still trying my best to hide away my feeling. At least I tried...
There was this little paragraph in my comprehension passage which was, " 明知道爱你没有结果，可是还是那么的执著。" I think Baobei Qiulian & I shared the same thoughts. She was thinking of it when she saw it, while I was thinking of it when I saw it too. :) Right now, we are in the same boat. =D
What I needed now was time.
原来从开始到现在，
我还是那么的傻。
我会学着离开。
因为害怕，
因为在乎，
所以我明白。
我的眼泪，
不争气的掉下来。
你却总是不在生旁。
所以我明白，
你一点也不在乎。
5:45:00 PM
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
I have nothing to say about life.
Things are great.
Life is great.
Books are great.
My studies are great.
My family are great.
My friendship are great.
I'm going on fine.
Alright, things are getting more simpler now. I had did my part to question my doubt and I got the answer that I didn't want. After all, I have no choice anyway. It's the truth. I just have to accept it. Take it and move on. Truth is always hurting. Reality is always biting. I have no choice, I'm left with nothing to choose. I can't turn back because I'm not going to get myself all hurt again. Sometimes it's quite amusing eh, when I started to fall helplessly, there are people who just walkaway. Haa~ That was what I had heard that, it's a dangerous game, if you are daring and ready to take the challenge, then you may proceed. But if you aren't, don't take it and get yourself all hurt. It's not worth. I understood. I'm leaving it there now. Perhaps it's all my karma, I hurt people, I got people all hurt and now, it's my retribution and that I got myself hurt. :) Fair and square.
Time to move on. :) I will move on with all I had left. Time will heal. I'm strong afterall. We still can be friends. :) Sometime, it's better to be friends than to lose a friend. :) Give me some time and I will get over this emotions inside me. =D At least after the Jashawn&I issue, I know it's best to stay as friends. He's a great friend but maybe not a great boyfriend to me. LOL ! At least, I know he treated me really well. And the weakness of his is that he smoked and he flirt secretly. xD But it's alright, since we are friends now. And I'm really glad that we remained as friends ! :) I'm a happy girl. Alright, maybe not.
Hais, the moment I thought of all the things we do. It felt really stupid. Yet I can still reminisce of the time spent together. However, it was pretty funny that I had still asked why he didn't want to patch even though his ex requested it. Furthermore, I somehow encouraged him to have the patch and not regret it later on. Even at my sad times, I still wished him for the best. I think I'm weird. Hell, I think I'm going to hate to take bus home after SBM. Sighs! Nevertheless, I still wish him for the best with his ex. :)
Maybe if we haven't known each other,
Maybe I never bothered to add you,
Maybe I wasn't even care about you,
Maybe my life right now,
would still be the same.
Yet, it's alright.
Because I had a lot of fun with you.
It was great to know you.
And goodbye.
And I waved again,
Hello my new friend. LOL !
And goodnight.
I'm fine.
I lied.
11:16:00 PM
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
In about a day or two, they would definitely get back together. And now, I'm learning to walk away. I'm falling and I'm breaking. You put my hopes high and you dropped me from a great height. Great. At least I had understood, who were the ones who was when I really needed. And who are the one who bothered to come and ask me what had happened to me unliked you. You didn't care. You didn't bother.
Fine. I landed myself in this state. Nobody is to be blamed. I blame myself for all this foolish things going on. For now, I'm going to study. Honestly, truthfully, I really really miss you. I need so much reassurance but you were not there at all. I don't want to listen to your lies anymore because I don't know whether I should believe in it anot. You kept saying the different things when I asked. And hell, I bloody miss you. Hell.
I hate myself.
Crap.
She's crap.
She's fallen.
She had died.
8:50:00 PM
Monday, August 20, 2007
Back to studying then, I'm taking short breaks now only. =/ Perhaps, I might be waking up in the wee hours to study for my math later. :) Nighty night !
11:11:00 PM
I'm not happy.
I'm upset.
I'm tired.
I'm sick.
Let me runaway.
I miss you.
Where are you?
My phone stood silent at the corner,
awaiting for you.
9:33:00 PM
Never did I realise that I was the fool all along.
Was I to say that I was always the fool for so long.
Yet, I chose to believe what I believed.
And I made a fool out of myself.
It wasn't what I had thought of.
It was just crap.
Rubbish.
I had enough of this.
I'm not going to be the replacement.
You had made me the fool.
Thank you so much.
Hug me tightly,
tell me everything was my illusion.
And meant it when you said it.
Because, I no longer believe in it.
I was the fool for such a long time.
I'm hurt.
I cried.
Goodbye.
5:53:00 PM
Alright, and damn this prelim. I don't like exams. Bye~
It's Geography & Math paper one tomorrow. I hope I will be able to score please. I am seriously demoralised. Bye~
I felt so insecure.
I miss you.
1:30:00 PM
Sunday, August 19, 2007
I miss you.
I ought to type something in this pathetic blog of mine. Where should I start from ? Hmm~ Alright, I was at SBM and then we were having our lunch. One of the auntie started to tell another auntie that the youths did not keep away the things in the kitchen. But in fact, I was sure that I had kept what we had used, those that were not kept are left there when we were there. It wasn't us, and that was the fact. Well, we didn't make any noise about it. Never mind, it's alright, it's our fault then. *Shrugged* However, one of the auntie was really nice to protect us, she told her that she think it wasn't this group of us. :) Thank you auntie, we managed to get out of a scolding. I really dare to swear that we really keep all the things we had used. Well, except the rubbish bin wasn't kept, it was my fault seriously.
Then, I was heading up to the computer room for the math tuition, Jianyong scared me while I was opening the door. So, I let out a scream and boy, Bhante was in front of me and he got a shock. I'm really so so so sorry Bhante. It was not on purpose, because I really didn't know who was the one inside the Monk's toilet. I thought only Bhante was inside and there was no possibility that Bhante would scare me. Furthermore, when I turned over, the door was closed. Sighs~ I'm really sorry Bhante !
I was back in the room and started to ask Ziyuan a whole load of questions. I think I had killed him in the midst of his teaching. He kept letting out a sigh and I felt even more stressed over it. HangQi & guys were laughing at me because I seemed so crazy. LOL !
After the tuition, we did stupid things like getting narcassistism. I was trying to help Junhao to take an emo picture but Hangqi kept making him laugh. Many times, we kept failing to take an emo picture. LOL !
Let's skip skip skip skip~ We were at the KFC, then the guys came back from their basketball. I was doing my D&T all alone. Then, there was a guy coming up to me and talked to me. When he was leaving, he started to ask for my number. -.-" Seriously, I don't really like people to ask for my number. I mean, I don't really know you. You are a complete stranger, so yeah~
After the guy left, Hangqi they all came back. Then a guy followed behind and started to point at Jianyong. He started to make a lot of noise over it and he thought it was cool but I think he was rubbish. When the guy got really hostile with Junhao, I started to shout " 打球而已，需要搞到打人吗？Childish! " Seriously, I kept shouting and I freaking hell couldn't take guys who acted so hostile over trivial matter. Crap~ I looked down on those people. Please look at the word, I LOOK DOWN ON THOSE PEOPLE. :) This are the people who I called loser~ It's just a basketball game, it's not like any serious matches or something. He just couldn't take for losing in this game. Lousy~ I knew I shouted a lot at that guy because I just couldn't see it anymore. What a loser ~ For whoever loser, don't try to come mess with me. If you are liked them, then please go to hell. =D I don't like to see my friends to fight, so freaking get the hell out of my sight if you are trying to mess in front of me. Sucker~
Enough of my scolding, I'm out of here. Time to get really serious over my work. Goodbye forever.
A few facts about me.
1. I had tried to renew my life,
2. I had just changed my mobile phone's theme which hasn't been changed ever since I got it.
3. I had decided to just packed around my room for a new lookout.
4. I don't want to go on liked this anymore.
5. I think I'm getting suckier each days.
6. I don't like my life.
7. I'll love you if you love me.
8. I aren't one who you can mess with.
9. I get over guys easily after somethings which I'm not going to say.
10. I love shopping!
11. I drag myself to school each morning.
12. I want someone who can love me wholeheartedly and not halfheartedly.
13. I don't trust people easily.
14. I don't trust love easily.
15. I want to study and only study.
16. At times, I wanted hugs badly.
17. I need to be assured all the times.
18. I often regret upon my impulsive decision.
19. I love my friends as much as I love myself.
20. I love my boy but I don't have time for him this year. Sighs
21. I have no more time to start reminiscing about the past.
22. I feel lonely at times.
23. I am trying to find a way to start studying efficiently.
24. I never like to drift apart from my friends.
25. I don't like the scars on my leg
26. I seriously like math.
27. I love English
28. I don't like chinese anymore.
29. I don't like relationships which is possesive-typed.
30. I love my closest friends and try all my best to set aside time for them. =D
Alright, enough of my blogging to last me for a two weeks. =DD
Who am I to you ?
Sometimes, it's get so complicated.
I doubt you.
I doubt myself.
It was all a sophisticated feeling.
9:59:00 PM
Alright, alittle blur picture. Fine~
I was at school for the whole morning ! Damn, that had resulted in my moodless attitude. I was there for a purpose to do my lacquering. Then, they started to drag my time and it started to rain heavily. I was damn upset can !~ Hell.
Then, I headed for SBM for the whole afternoon. I did a lot of exercises and I'm a happy girl. :) I even cooked spaggetti for my Moggallana. Err, well, I shan't describe about the taste then. =X However, I think it still edible alright. =D Then, they wanted to go for lan and I really wanted to study. So, we negotiate and then they didn't go in the end. I am so sorry ! I have to start being disciplined enough to study for the sake of my future now. :) But somehow, I still have the urge to play. Damn~
They insisted to go for lan in the start. And at the same time, Pohleong sms-ed me to ask if I want to study. So, I agreed. Yet, they didn't go for lan in the end. -.-" But still, most of them went home so there wasn't any reason for me to stay in SBM either. I joined Pohleong for study and I did Mathematics 2003 Paper 1. =D I love math. XD ! At the same time, I managed to learn a few new words from Pohleong since he was studying English. Prelims are coming ~ Damn damn damn~
Well, I don't have anything to blog anymore. I'm bored. I'm sicked. I'm stressed. I don't like books. I don't like life. This unmitigrated feeling don't seem to go away. Sigh~
Waking up in the morning,
please remember to remind me to remind myself that,
I had a choice in life.
1:00:00 AM
Saturday, August 18, 2007
FREAK ~
ROARS !
I am just not happy.
Go away or I'll bite.
Maybe things just don't go right for me.
Damn this life. Suck~
2:05:00 PM
Friday, August 17, 2007
I spent my whole afternoon in the workshop doing the lacquering and I was cursing under my breath. Damn the weather. I was just too unhappy. I got so pissed off with my artifact that I was giving the sad face to everyone I had seen. I was really sad alright. Furthermore, that idiot Pohleong make me even more pissed because of the meeting time. I was seriously not in a good mood. Whoever comes along, I will just get upset and done with. It was not a good feeling at all. Hell.
We met up for study in the library. He did all the idiotic thing and I was even more pissed. LOL ! He even went to an extend to snatch my phone over when I received a message. Moreover, he went to reply Eugene with " I love you " . How idiot can he go. I sweared I was pissed off. Then I didn't talk to him for a long time until I-had-forgotten for what reasons, we started talking. He was messing with my D&T stuffs and I gave him a sentence, " I don't want to do D&T with you next time le lah. " LOL ! But still, I need him to tell me how to do the D&T. -.-" Alright, I hope he doesn't take that sentence seriously. =X
Sighs, I have to wake up early to go to school tomorrow to do my idiot artifact. You know my prelims are coming in just 3 days time. How the hell am I supposed to pass it with flying colours ? I can't possibly use just the last minute solution for my prelims. I'm not going to risk my marks with the last minute solution. But it seemed that I had only one solution and that was the last minute self study solution. I think life is getting crap. I expected to finish my artifact by today, but it proved me wrong. I'm just so sad now. Sighs ~
不能说的秘密
冷咖啡离开了杯垫
我忍住的情绪在很后面
拼命想挽回的从前
在我脸上依旧清晰可见
最美的不是下雨天
是曾与你躲过雨的屋檐
oh 回忆的画面
在荡着秋千梦开始不甜
你说把爱渐渐放下会走更远
又何必去改变
你错过的时间
你用你的指尖
就指我说再见
想像你在身边
在晚全失去之前
你说把爱渐渐放下会走更远
或许命运的签只让我们遇见
只让我们相恋
这一季的秋天
飘落后才发现
这幸福的碎片
要我怎么捡
Maybe you were just my plain illusion.
Everything was a mistake, wasn't it ?
I don't know. You shall choose.
11:47:00 PM
1-touch their waist
2-talk to them
3-share secrets
4-give her your jacket
5-kiss them slowly
Are you remembering this?
6-hug her
7-hold her
8-laugh with her
9-invite her somewhere
10-let her be with you when you're
with your friends
Keep reading
11-smile with her
12-take pics with her
13-pull her onto your lap
14-when she says she loves you more,
deny it. fight back
15-when her friends say I love her
more than you, deny it. fight back and
hug her tight so she cant get to her
friends. it makes her feel loved
Are you thinking about someone?
16-always hug her and say I love you
when you see her
17-kiss her unexpectedly
18-HUG HER FROM BEHIND AROUND THE WAIST
19-tell her shes beautiful not sexy!
20-tell her the way you feel about her!
20 you need to show her you mean it too
21-kiss her on the lips
22-DON'T ask her to buy you stuff. you
buy HER stuff
23-TELL HER WHAT FEELS GOOD
24-make her feel loved
25-buy her stuff. small things can
still help
we might deny it but we acctually like
and kinda want you to get us things
26-DON'T LIE TO HER.
27-DON'T CHEAT ON HER.
28-take her anywhere she wants
29-txt messege or call her in the
morning and tell her have a good day
at school, and how much you miss her
30-be there for her when ever she
needs you, & even when she doesn't
need you, just be there so she'll know
that she can always count on you
Are you still reading this u better be
it's important
31. Hold her close when she's cold and
she can hold you too.
32. When you are alone hold her close
and kiss her.
33. Kiss her on the tip of her nose;
(it will give her the hint that you
want to kiss them).
34. While in the movie, put your arm
around her and then she will
automatically put her head on your
shoulder, then lean in and tilt her
chin up and kiss her lightly.
35. Dont ever tell her to leave even
jokingly or act like you're mad. If
shes upset, comfort her
Remember this next time you are with
her
36. When people tease her, stand up for
her.
37. Look deep into her eyes and tell
her you love her.
38. Lay down under the stars and put
her head on your chest so she can
listen to the steady beat of your
heart, Link your fingers together
while you whisper to her as she rests
her eyes and listens to you.
39. When walking next to each other
grab her hand.
40. When you hug her hold her in your
arms as long as possible
41. Call her at night to wish her
sweet dreams.
42. Comfort her when she cries and
wipe away her tears.
43. Take her for long walks at night
44. Dedicate a song to her.
45. Always Remind her how much you
love her.
youll never know when she needs just a
lil more love
11:43:00 PM
Thursday, August 16, 2007
| The True You |
 You want your girlfriend or boyfriend to be more relaxed, calm, and composed. With respect to money, you spend whatever you have. You think good luck depends on maintaining good relationships with others. The hidden side of your personality tends to be satisfied to care for things with a minimal amount of effort. You are tend to think about others' feelings a lot, perhaps because you are so eager to be liked. When it comes to finding a romantic partner, you don't have any particular type in mind, but you are inclined to look for someone who will say yes when you ask him / her out. |
Okay fine, I was just bored and so took up this quiz. Goodbye. =D
11:48:00 PM
The Bottom Line
It's a very good time for you to initiate a new work, school or hobby project.
In Detail
If you're feeling the urge to start something that will offer you a challenge, today offers you a great opportunity to do just that. It's a very good time for you to initiate a new work, school or hobby project -- and if legal documents are involved, so much the better. You have been doing a lot of clear thinking, and the conclusions you have come to recently are dead on, so you have no reason to doubt your convictions. Things are about to get interesting -- and you should be very pleased.
There wasn't anything amazing to talk about. I had gotten my Emath Paper Two Block Test paper. You want to guess how much I get ? Although it wasn't the marks that I had wanted but at least I know I did not let all the efforts go to waste and I know I'm taking the right pace. For the next Prelim Examination, I'm prepared to get A1 for my Emath & Combined Science. If possible, I would like to get a A2 for my English too. =D I have to do well in this three subjects and then I will work doubly hard for my 'O' level. :) It felt really great to know that I'm heading at the right path and I had chosen the right decision. :) I shall not let today to leave a regret for tomorrow. :)
I think I'm rather efficient today. I had did a few pages of my D&T and I am almost done with my artifact. :) I'm a happy girl now. :) You know it's feel really great to know that your artifact is done now. Although I know I won't be able to score really well for my D&T but at least, I know I did what I can. Once I lacquered my artifact by tomorrow, I shall bid goodbye to the D&T workshop. I will be able to head home early and start my revision early. Oh man, I'm really a happy girl. :)
To sidetrack alittle, I remembered I was thinking about my past. I started to remember how childish I am in the past. I can start accusing people for "pangseh-ing" me. And I will always start pointing finger that they are the "pangseh-er." LOL ! I think it's rather amusing to think about all this little litle thing in my past. If you don't believe how childish I am, you may start questioning huiwen and friends. xD ! I am indeed that childish. LOL! I don't believe in "pangseh" anymore. If they really want to leave me alone, I think they might have stuffs going on and then leave me there. It's always good to go to SBM because they will start telling you how to control your mind. You are always given a choice, you can choose to believe that they "pangseh" you or you can choose to believe that they have things on and then left you. LOL ! Our Bring-A-Fish-Friend day is approaching, yet I don't know if I am able to get anyone to go to SBM on that day anot. -.-" Each house has to bring 3 new friends on that day, and how am I supposed to bring my friends. LOL ! Hey, whoever is in Moggallana, please remember to bring you friends. :)
So, I met up with Weijing & Shanyuan in the night. LOL ! I think Weijing is really a cute girl. I can't help but to laugh at all her actions. I sweared she is really very cute. LOL ~ Weijing, smile smile ah ! Your smiles are sweet, don't brood over something ! =D LOVES ! LOL !
Yadah, yadah, yadah... I'm going to sleep ! There won't be any sharing on Saturday but, I'm meeting my dear Mogga for study. Oh man, studies are killing us. Never mind, it shall be our greater pleasure to study ! Goodbyebyebyebye !
I'm happy because I'm happy LOL !
D&T GO GO GO ! Please be done by tomorrow. :)
I'm letting you to go.
10:44:00 PM
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
I love her. :) The forever friendship till forever... =D
I did my English 'O' Level oral. It was rather amusing because I got my Geography knowledge into the oral. Well,I think it's rather stupid because I just spoke without any sanity. I was doing my conversation with the examiner and then I started to say, " As I had learnt in my Geography..." I paused and smirked alittle. -.-" I must have looked damn retarded at that time. I mean, I really didn't know that I got my Geography into the picture you know ! The topic about the Oral was Environment. Initially, we peeked at the picture and we got to know that it was a bus ! So I was discussing with Huiping about the favourite mode of transport. I was so sure that I was ready for the oral. And then, when I walked up for the preparation of the oral station, I got stucked. I started to curse softly. Damn~ It was about floods. The bus was caught in the floods and several men were trying to push the bus.
I think I made a fool out of myself during the conversation. Sighs, I hope I did well in it. The teachers did say the word, "Good!" before going to the next section. Roars ! But still, I think I didn't really do well in it.
Something I really have to say out loud is that, for the first time in my life, I had scored a 20/30 for my composition. Ahh ! I want to score higher please. I want a 25/30 ! I need a A2 for my english ! Since Dion & Irene had gotten their A1 & A2 for their english, I can't be any worst than them. Please please please, I need to really buck up. My situation writing was merely a pass and I'm not contented at all. Sighs ! I had already screwed up my chinese. I can't afford to screw up my English! Furthermore, I wants to go to the Business courses and Business courses required one to pass well in their English, Mathematics & Humanities. Damn that humanities! I had to mug for my humanities soon. I can't afford to get another F9 again please ! Sighs !
It's getting late. Good night my dear. :)
I'm going to do well in my D&T tomorrow. Please allowed me to have more time to finish up my damn artifact. Please ! May Devas help me through this obstacles !
I learnt from my past that,
Love is not meant for me.
I aren't fit to be loved.
9:49:00 PM
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
:D
Alright, I shall start swearing and cursing now. The first thing that I realised when I reach school was that, we are having a Chemistry Mock Exam in the afternoon. Hell. I had forgotten all about it. I didn't even revise any of the topics and how the hell am I supposed to take the exam. Furthermore, I didn't bring my notes to school neither do I have my notes in school. Then, the first thing in the morning, I have to start sending messages. I tried to ask the notes from Rainer, but he didn't have it. So, I asked it from Pohleong and he got the notes from his friends. But still, thanks alot. =D
Beside getting notes from him, he sent me a MMS to help him solve his Mathematic Exam. -.-" Apparently, he was having his exam at that time and his Mathematics knowledge was way worst than anyone seriously. Alright, I helped him to cheat but I only have enough time to do a 3 questions which consists of 3 marks. -.-" So, there isn't any difference after all.
I think I had wasted a lot of my time on sleeping in class. *Please do not let Rainer papa see this paragraph* =X He got a spy to check on me whenever I sleep. Before I changed my seat to the current one, I always have Hweehian to wake me up whenever I fell alseep. But now, I don't have any one anymore. =( So I promised to sleep early and not sleep late anymore. My health is affecting. My studies are affecting. I can't continue sleeping late anymore. So, I promised to be good and I shall not be online for today. I will use my time on better stuffs rather than wasting it away. =D
I aren't happy with all the little little commotions going about. I aren't happy with my results. I aren't happy with my time management. To be exact, my prelims are starting next week ! For goodness sake, I haven't started my revision and I know nothing about any of my subjects. I had been busy for all day long with my D&T and I just wished I can burn it all up. I shouldn't have take the subject. But well, the people told me not to worry as it's just prelims. But please, prelims are a checking point for my studies and still, if I flunk it. I'm going to feel so remorse over myself. Sighs !
There's English 'O' level oral tomorrow. I wished to skip school but I don't wish to skip school either. I know I'm being contradicting again. I have my own reasons. There are more things to worry about and so, I am putting all the useless stuffs aside. I had been trying to sort out my damn mind and now, I know what I want. Studies are my priority. I don't want to care any shits about my family nor my friends. All right, not that I don't want to care anything about my friends, I mean if someone comes along to provoke me, I don't think I will give it a damn. That's what I'm trying to say and stop misinterpreting my words. =D
My life is in a mess for you information. I aren't elaborating further. I know myself and I'm going to keep it inside. :) I'm alright. Goodbye~
If only I could press the refresh button again, life would be better.
9:16:00 PM
Monday, August 13, 2007
I love my hair. =D
Today is the lunar seventh month. I don't like seventh month. It scares the hell out of me. After going library with Pohleong, I saw something when I was unlocking my door. Well, I shan't continue further. I told Pohleong about it. So he got frightened by me ! xD But I am really serious about what I had seen. He told me that he can't sleep because of my idiot ghost ghost ghost. Then, I replied that ghost are pretty cute. And damn it, he replied me that he don't want message me anymore. Bye ! LOL ! This is the first idiot guy I had ever seen. LOL ! So that's ended our friendship. Never mind, it's alright. LOL!
Seriously, I don't know what to blog anymore. Maybe a short summary of my activities for today. =D
I had a phone chat with my girls. =D
I'm having my English 'O' Level Oral on Wednesday.
I'm not feeling well.
I almost fainted today.
I have not enough sleep.
I'm tired.
I hate life.
I hate school.
I hate studies.
I hate books.
I hate everything.
I don't like my result.
I hate today.
Goodbye.
8:51:00 PM
I am sad.
我不开心！
*ROARS*
I got a B3 (Merit) for my Chinese 'O' level and I aren't satisfied at all. Hell. I had to retake the subject again. I had to go for the lessons again. I had to start doing all the nonsense homeworks again. I had to start wasting my time on useless stuffs. Damn damn damn damnn~ =(
Don't talk to me. I aren't in the good mood. I bite !
*Cries*
I will be back later. I have to start mugging. Hell. I hate life.
P.S: Rainer papa, don't be sad too. =D Things will get better. Let's shall work really hard now.
I'm not happy.
5:18:00 PM
We love sweets. :)
I wasted my day in SBM doing absolutely nothing. Initially, we were supposed to have Math tuition. Due to the communication break down, the teacher didn't know that he was supposed to come. So yeah, it was totally my fault. I'm really sorry. I hope whoever had came today, I'm sorry. But, we still had fun right. =X
Aftermath, we went to Parklane to have lan again. Alright, so we were playing DOTA. I died 6 times. -.-" Oh man~ You know this is the first time I had died so many times. Junhao kept killing me. Hangqi kept killing me. What's more ! Never mind, at least I did 2 kills for the first time. =X Most of all, I killed Jianyong. xD
My 'O' level chinese result is coming out tomorrow. Sighs, I'm damn worried. I hope I can get an A so that I won't have to retake anymore. I'm really scared. Please enlighten me. I don't want to retake anymore please.
I'm losing my voice again and there's English 'O' Level Oral on Wednesday. Damn it. How can I be so unlucky to be sick at this time. Never mind, I shall have a positive attitude in life to gain a positive result at the end of the year. =D Ahh, I love life.
Alright, I lied.
But still, please give me my dream-like result. =D
I love all my friends, truly, deeply, madly. =DD
I miss my past cliques.
I miss my present cliques.
I miss all of you. =(
I hope life isn't too demanding.
1:11:00 AM
Saturday, August 11, 2007
I lost my interest in blogging. I just couldn't find any reason for me to come out to this blog and start typing away. My life is so boring and unmeaningful. I don't see a need for me to record the boring events now. All I can spend my time on was books after books. It's always the same daily routine. I had gotten so bored over my daily life but I just can't help it. Life is just so boring now. I need some entertainment~ I need some fun~ I need to brighten up my life. =(
I was reading an email sent by Zekui instructed by Anghwee. It was about choices. In life, we have two choices - to be happy or be sad. Waking up in the morning, you can tell yourself that it is a brand new day, you can choose to be happy or sad. You can choose how you react to situations. You can choose how people will affect your mood. You can choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. It's your choice how you live your life. Yet I'm always being in the negative side, I chose to drown myself in sorrow. I chose to tell myself that things are going bad and just let it be. I chose to runaway from it.
I had been really troubled by stuffs recently. My studies are draining me. It had been taking so much of my time that I wished I can just put it all aside. Ah~ I want to do well yet I really have no strength to continue further. I wondered how am I supposed to study well for my important year. Sighs. Lawrence was asking how was my 'O' level. All I can do was to tell him that it's getting nowhere. He told me that my D&T is really in great trouble since I have to finish it. Sighs ! People, please stop giving me more pressures on my studies. I'm going to go maddness soon. Studies are a form of craziness. :)
Initially, I'm meeting KahBeng but he's out in the Sentosa now ! Roar ! Never mind, I shall try to meet him tomorrow since he lived near SBM. =D I'm so so so going to drag him to help me with my D&T. =X I think D&T is killing me and I need someone to save me from this murderer. =(
Ahh~ Huiwen & Enghua kor is at Breko now. =( I want to go there too. But I think Mummy & Daddy will kill me if I go there. Sighs !~ LOL ! I sound like a small little girl. Although I can be rebellious like last time but I chose not to. Never mind, I shall be a good girl. =D But still, I want to go out. AHh!~ =( I really miss Enghua kor alot. =( Sighs~
Oh yeah, we were on our way to 85 for supper. I managed to catch up with Liangjian since he drove me there. So Liangjian was telling me all sort of relationship stuffs and I think it's meaningful. =D Liangjian, you rocks ah ! =D
Shixiong, thanks for telling me and comforting me in the office. =D It was great to know that at least there is people who still understand my circumstances. Sometime, it is still great to tell somebody about the series of events instead of keeping inside you. It became a hindrance, a hindrance to keep you away from people, for you won't know who will believe in you. At times, I really don't know what to do and I just felt like give it all up. Honestly, I had been rather inefficent these days. I did not do my job properly. I did not do my role well. I procastinate. I waste my time away. I had been judged. I had ever since kept my distance from people. For I really don't know whatever I had done, was it worthwhile. It had been on my mind all the time. It was well to said that it was for my spiritual development. But as time passed, the more I was desperate to have more time for myself, I couldn't find any. And yet, I still have to kept remember to do this and that. I really don't know. I had been a disappointment to many. I had caused troubles to them. I'm sorry...
Sometime, it is best not to want things to be done the way you want it. There are circumstances that had caused a great trouble for one to fulfil the job. I was still guilty over the things I had done in camp. I was supposed to wrap the present, yet I did not do it properly. It is not that I did not want it to be done, I was injured. I can swear that the pain was unbearable, yet nobody understands. However, it was really great to have a few close friends to be there to accompany me throughout the night liked - Yinghui, Zhenglin, VictorTan. Sighs~ I don't know~ Nevermind. Let's drop this topic and I shall be good and get up in bed. =D
I don't like my current life.
Let me leave. Let me leave.
11:52:00 PM
[x] Gotten detention.
[ ] Gotten your phone taken away
[ ] Gotten suspended
[x] Chewed gum during class.
Total: 2
[ ] Been late to a class(s)more then 10
times
[x] Didn't do homework over 5 times.
[ ] Turned at least 3 projects in late.
[ ] Missed school cause you felt like
it
[ ] Skipped class at least 3 times.
[ ] Laughed so hard you got kicked out
of class
Total so far: 3
[x] Got your mom/dad etc. to pick you
up from school
[x] Text people during school
[x] Passed notes.
[x] Threw stuff across the room.
[x] Laughed at the teacher
Total so far: 8
[x] Went on myspace, friendster, xanga,
etc. on the computer at school
[x] Took pictures during school hours.
[x] Called someone during school hours.
[x] Listened to an ipod/cd player/mp3
during school
Total so far: 12
[ ] Threw something at the teacher
[x] Went outside the classroom without
permission.
[x] Broke the dress code.
[x] Failed a class test
[x] Ate food durin class.
Total so far: 16
[ ] Gotten a call home
[ ] Couldn't go on a field trip cause
you behaved badly
[x] Didn't take your stuff to school
[ ] Gotten a detention and didnt go
[ ] Stuck your middle finger at a
teacher
[x] Cursed during class loud enough so
the teacher could hear
Total so far: 18
[x] slept in class
[ ] threw paper at the teacher
[x] copied homework
[ ] felt hungry during class and left
to eat
[ ] snored in class
[x] talked back to a teacher
TOTAL: 21
3x your total = 21 x 3 = 63%
I misbehaved 63% times. -.-"
11:49:00 PM
I want to love you.
I spent my whole afternoon in Bugis when I was suppposed to be at library. It's not my fault ! It's all the library users' fault. The place was so packed that we could hardly squeeze in. I hate holidays because I never get to go to my favourite place wtihout having many people. Can you guys just stay at home and be good. =D
However, I still managed to finish half of the portfolio. Although it wasn't really half but the ideas of it were already drawn. I just have to trace it properly with a ruler and I'm done. :) I can't wait to finish this stupid portfolio of mine. I will be doing my portfolio in SBM, please people don't disturb me ! I have tasks to fulfill. :)
I love library because my work efficiency was high and not let my time to slip away. So, most of my friends are away from Singapore. Damn it. I'm stucked in Singapore for the past few years and yet, I'm still stucked. Roars ! I want to go out of this country and shop till I dropped ! AhhH!
Chinese 'O' level result is coming out on Monday 9am. Honestly, I'm nervous about it. I don't know if I could do well in it but I just have to strongly self-proclaim that I really did my best despite the fears inside me. The fear was overwhelming. I just couldn't overcome it. I'm so sorry~ Please give me an A1 because I really don't want to retake Chinese again. I don't want to sit for Prelims neither do I want to sit for Chinese 'O' level again. Please, not again.
My English 'O' level oral is on 15th August. God damn it, I scored a merely 12/20 for my Prelims oral. How am I supposed to score in my 'O' level when my prelim result is so low. Damn it ~ I wondered what went wrong. Sighs ~ I have to deal with the Examination fears on Wednesday again. Then, the cycle will go again. Awww~ No! I mean, I won't let the cycle go again. I will let it go to a better cycle instead of the previous one. =D
Sighs, I don't like exams. I don't like school. I don't like to study. I don't like anything. =( Hey friends, but I do love you guys. =D But still, I just hate everything in this world. Ahh~ I hate life. =(
I wondered if you are the one.
2:21:00 AM
Friday, August 10, 2007
I'm getting out of this whole damn thing. =D
I'm a happy girl.
And to him, thank for shielding me from the cold.
12:37:00 PM
Hangqi ! I edit the pictures again then I send you okay ! Very dark =X
Alright, I'm so lazy to blog today. I shall blog tomorrow. :) I enjoyed myself today. =DD Happy National Day my friends! I shall replace this post with my horoscope. I'm an Aries. :)
You have a charming manner and very winning ways with the opposite sex, when you so choose. Despite your charm, you often find that some unforeseen problem seems to emerge that prevents you from obtaining the object of your desire and those to whom you are most attracted may indeed fail to respond in the way you expect. You need to harness your powerful energies, or even rein them in a little, so that those with whom you would like to spend time are not overwhelmed by your battle tactics.
Aries, a masculine sign, loves to lead and hates to follow. So in a relationship, Aries, the child of the zodiac, is the motivator and wants to be the controller. The Aries driving force compels those born under its influence to become the leading light in any co-operative venture. This can be a particular problem for Aries women, who constantly seek to measure themselves against their man (or men), always trying to gain the upper hand.
Aries is straightforward in its need to dominate. While quite socially acceptable for men, until recently this need has been rather problematic for women.
Women with Aries prominent often seem to work to overcome or defeat their partners, but in the event they succeed, have a tendency to lose respect for their formerly admired "opponents". The constant outflow of energy from egotistical Aries masks a sense of insecurity, which has its roots in a lack of self-esteem. The externalising of demons enables them to be conquered, but Aries is usually unable to formulate the problem. Like his mythic image, the Ram, Aries prefers to charge at full tilt, with little knowledge of, or care for, the consequences.
Similarly in the art of lovemaking, the Arien is enthusiastic and adventurous. Partners can sometimes be overwhelmed by this spirited approach, something which is not necessarily a sign of their weakness, but simply a reaction to the ardent intensity of passion.
Is it true ? I don't know, you shall judge. =D
I love to be happy. Make me happy please.
2:56:00 AM
Wednesday, August 08, 2007
Initially, I was having Movie Marathon today. Somehow, due to our indecisive mind, we had Simsons in the afternoon. Then, Pohleong had to renew his passport and it was getting very late. So, we will be watching tomorrow. Aww, I want to watch Secrets man ! I had been wanting to watch it for such a long time. I don't care, if I still can't be able to meet Pohleong for that movie, I'm going to just drag anyone to watch with me since he will be away on Friday. Which means, it would be extremely long for me to wait for him to come back to watch with me. -.-" No! I want to see Jay ! I don't care. =X It sounds like I'm just some typical fan who is crazy about him. Don't get the messages wrongly, I'm not crazy about him, I'm just crazy about the movie and the song. =D
Yadah, I'm so bored right now. I have ton of pictures and I'm procastinating over them. =D I'm so lazy to upload them now ! Argh ! Oh yeah, I took neoprints with Jowell after 74372642 years you know. I think the machine is so damn cool. Technology had changed tremedously over the years. It's pretty amusing to look back on the neoprints that I had took over the years. Somehow, I miss the time. Well, never mind. I shan't be emo here. I'm a happy girl ! You know why ? Because I had just watched my Simpsons and I think they looked pretty stupid. =X
Many people had skipped school today just to sleep till the cows come home. So, I'm so stupid to wake up in the early morning just to go to school for a typical celebrations which I have no interest in. However, I managed to take many pictures with my beloved. =D Pictures will be up tomorrow.
It's 12am now. I think I'm feeling weird. You know, I had been sick for like two weeks and I'm not fine at all. But it's alright, since this is a short week for me ! Can the time stop right here so I don't have to take my prelims nor my 'O' level ? I haven't even started studying. Damn it ! My D&T portfolio is still left undone. I'm feeling so ashame yet I'm not doing anything. Someone motivate me please ! Argh~ I want to study, I want to study. But my mind doesn't want to allow me to study ~! I think I'm crazy.
Oh yeah, I was out with Jowell, Kaiwen, Yinghui, Justin. I miss my dear Jowell, it's been such a long time that I had last seen her. We watched the Simpsons and then while going back to Plaza Singapura, Yinghui lost her spectacles. We were searching high and low but it had just disappeared just like that. Weird ~ Can some one tell us this mysterious thing that had happened ? Next, we had our lunch. Then that idiot Kaiwen requested for all of us to accompany him to wait for his bus. xD ! After that, we were on our way to Heeren and we saw Junhao & Zihui. That idiot Junhao is so "重色亲友", and he kept trying to explain but we didn't give him a chance to and walked off. xD ! I mean it was funny to see his expression at that time. =X
It's time to sleep. =D Good night my dear. :) I want my Secrets ! *Roars*
11:24:00 PM
I wanted to watch 不能说的秘密. So, Pohleong asked me to watch with him. Then initially, my girls are watching The Simsons ! So I agreed, yet they had a last minute change to the movie, 不能说的秘密. Who am I supposed to watch with it then. -.-" I can't possibly abandon any sides since both are my good friends you know. Tsk.
Anyway, I'm meeting Jowell tomorrow. Oh my ! I can't wait. =D Maybe at night, I will be catching the show with Pohleong or maybe not. I don't know. I shall see how does it go tomorrow. =D It's National Day eve and prelims are in two weeks time, I'm still playing a fool now. It's such a shame on myself. But well, I really hope I can enjoy myself tomorrow please. =( I want to study. Yet, I want to play too. Sighs ~ If only, I can stay in the Hogwart School. :) If only, I'm Harry Potter. =DD If only, I will just perish. :)
Life hasn't been great. Leave me alone. =D
12:38:00 AM
Monday, August 06, 2007
I don't know what I want. I don't what you want. And most of all, I don't know what you are thinking. I know you won't be reading my blog, but I just have the urge to write it down. I don't know if it will changes our friendship after what happened, but I hope not.
I need a hug badly now. Sighs.
Somebody enlighten me now.
Things haven't been going right. I have been losing my sleep for the past one weeks. My dark circles & eyebags are coming out. Please help me. =( I had been thinking so much till I almost go crazy. You know, I don't want to make any indecisive decision, neither do I want to regret upon my impulsive decision. So many things, so small a brain, so little time... I'm exploding. Sighs ! I wished somebody is there to withstand the load with me, but I don't want to trouble any one. I'm such a loser~ Argh~
I want to love you, but I'm afraid to.
Let me perished from this world.
10:48:00 PM
Sunday, August 05, 2007
I had been feeling so tired recently. Sighs, maybe I should mark up my sleeping time. If not, I will sleep in class again which I can't afford to do so. Enghua kor complained that I'm not using the proper english to type my blog. =( My english is getting worst. Time to read some books to widen my vocabulary again. Sighs ! I want a B3 for my English please.
So, I shall set my targets for my Prelims now. People, please remind me to study hard and work for my target alright. LOVES !
English - B3
Chinese - A2
Emath - A1
Science - A1
Amath - B3
D&T - B3
Humanities - B4
L1R4: 11
I have to work hard towards my target. =D
Oh yeah, I had two jobs on hold now. I'm a happy girl. This means that, I will not be as broke as I am now. =D
Sore eyes had been spreading lately, please be aware. If you are suffering from Sore eyes, please do not go out. Please be good and stay at home. =D
Random stuffs : I remembered Pohleong had asked me a question, whether I would prefer to live in schedule of live in freedom. I chose freedom. =D However, I had lost my freedom ever since 2007 arrived. Partly, it was because of my studies. I had to go to the library everyday so as to be away from my computer to study. I had ever since lost all the time for myself. It's been really long that I had gone for shopping. =( My studies are killing me. =( Please give me good grades please.
Sometimes, I just want to cry, but I have no tears.
9:10:00 PM
Saturday, August 04, 2007
Just a short post will do, I'm not in the mood to continue further.
I think, I hate myself.
The more I thought of it,
the more I felt like a sinner.
Maybe I shouldn't have lived,
I shouldn't have be the one I am,
I might as well bang myself on the wall,
and died.
I hate myself.
Shun me please.
Go away and away.
11:16:00 PM
Friday, August 03, 2007
I had been out for the whole day. First, I went to do my drawer which lasted me an hour. Damn it~ Then, I met up with my girls and we went shopping. I think Andrina is the happy girl now. She got everything she wanted. =( While, I had eyed on nothing at all. Oh yeah, I cut myself accidentally. So, I'm full of injury all over my arms, fingers and legs. My poor thing. =( I even got a deep cut on my finger. I think I'm just too unlucky this month.
At night, I met up with Rainer & Guangkai. Guangkai had changed a lot. He looked more liked a typical chaoahbeng right now. Alright, I have no offence towards ahbeng but he had really changed a lot from the one I knew till the one he is today. Tsk. Anyway, it's alright. As long as he doesn't do things that will destroy his future, as a friend, we will just let him be.
I had been thinking on relationships lately. I was asking Rainer, is it very troublesome to get into relationship and stuffs. He said " Yeah, as you have to think of the other party and yourself, it's not about yourself, when you do one thing or another, you will always have to think about the other party. " So, I was taken aback by it. You know, my relationship doesn't last, so I had always been single for such a long time. If you want me to get tied up, I felt so reluntant. I don't want to go about reporting where I'm going and stuffs. I really don't want. LiangJian knew me well, if I never remembered wrongly, I remembered that he told me I'm a carefree girl, I cannot be tied down. That was true, that's why I dragged that factor into my list.
Maybe I aren't in the mood for love now. Disclaimer: It doesn't mean I won't go on a relationship forever. -.-" Don't assume people, please don't assume. I'm sick of people trying to assume everything about me. I mean, what do you really know about me when you assume. I might go into it any time I felt like. But well, not now as I'm really in a confused state. =D I shall enjoy my singlehood as much as I can right now. I think 'O' level is killing enough. I don't want to drag any other relationship in. I hope I will still be surviving through the 'O' Level now. I think I'm halfway dead right now. I lost all my motivation. I lost all my confidence. I don't think I can do well at all. =(
Alright, I shall come back to blog tomorrow. I don't know what time will I be blogging since I'm going to meet Poh Leong early in the morning to study. We are good student alright. =X Goodnight.
My fever is running again. Damn it ~ My flu is coming back. =(
I'm so sorry for everything I had done.
11:21:00 PM
Thursday, August 02, 2007
I have got a fever. I have got a sorethroat. My fever had been coming on and off. At least, I managed to survive my day in the school. I dragged myself to the school for the sake of the English Prelim Oral. Somehow, I think I screwed it up because my mind was completely blank. At that point of time, my fever was still running. So, I just speak whatever was on my mind and get done with it.
My artefact was screwed by somebody whom I'm not sure of. So, my drawer part was ruined and I had to do it all over again. Thank you man ~ No worries, I won't curse you to have the same fate as me. But I will hate you for you aren't going to apologise to me. Uptill now, the one who had done it was still a mystery. Sighs, you sucks to the core.
Argh, I wanted to write a long long page one. But never mind, I accidentally press the delete button and there goes everything. =.=" Cool man~
Night~ I'm sick. May Buddha bless me. And may Buddha brings Felicia Teo back to our side. :)
Goodnight. Goodbye !
P.S : Shanyuan passed me a "sweet-like" medicine to cure my sore throat. =D
9:39:00 PM
Wednesday, August 01, 2007
Please be nice, and treat me nicer. I want to get well. =(
Oh yeah, Amanda & I went for shopping today. We bought a slogan shirt. Amanda - Don't blame me, it was my evil twin. And mine was - I'm the EVIL TWIN. xD ! It was crap ! I want to get that " Aren't spoilt, just well taken care of " and " Wanted ! Boyfriend ! Please fill up your application with your bank statement " xD ! I love slogan shirts please. =X I mean they were so cute. =X
Initially, I was supposed to get my D&T stuffs. So, I ended up spending money again. Not again~ Tsk. =(
I'm going to sleep now. Goodnight. I hope the fever goes away by tonight. =(
8:54:00 PM
I walk away quietly, noticing that you never care.
So, I had been suffering from insomnia for the past two days. I swear I really want to get into deep sleep but I didn't manage to. It was suffering to try to stay awake for 6 periods - 4 hours just to do a English 'O' Level June Paper & a Amath Block Test. And there was only a short little 20 minutes break before the next paper started. Damn it, I told you examinations are a cells killer.
Well, I shall blog a short summary for yesterday and today. Pardon me for it, I really need to catch some sleep before I starts to complain that I'm suffering from insomnia for 3 days. =(
I went to the Popular to get a Emath Ten-Years-Series yesterday. Then, I met up with Yinghui together with Amanda and we started to mug. =D Then, I told them about the relationships stuffs. Things are getting pretty complicated right now. =( Then blahhhh, yadah yadah -fast forwards- xD
So, I had my 4 hours of tests today. It was pretty sickening to do so many tests at one go. Next, I met up with PohLeong & Amanda to do my D&T portfolio. Damn it ~ I still couldn't finish it. That stupid PohLeong started to crap so much that we started to doubt whether he had lost his sanity. LOL !
Blah~ I'm off to sleep. :)
GOODNIGHT MY DEAR !
12:18:00 AM
